Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Where Have All The Cowboys Gone...

I am starting to think that maybe people and people whose sex starts with M in particular are starting to get a little wimpy on us. I am missing cowboys (maybe) and I'll tell you why.

Today I was standing on the sidewalk getting my mail from my curbside mailbox and a blue Corvette was waiting in a line of cars backed up from my corner.

The driver had the top down, allowing everyone within a four WalMart radius to share in his enjoyment of Van Halen. When he increased the volume even more, I turned around just in time to see him thrust his fist in the air, eyes closed.

Jump!

(fist!)

Might as well jump!

(fist! fist! fist!)

This was sort of like the Tiger Woods fist pump without the Masters win. Not something a cowboy would do I don't think (of course this move would likely cause the cowboy's trusty horse to go galloping off into the woods so maybe this is not a fair comparison), but still ....

Then after dumping my mail all over the back seat of my car

(who's afraid of lost bills and bill collectors- not this cowgirl- that's who)

I head out for some errands and I go to the gym.

(and when I say "go to the gym" I mean walk past the gym's glass doors and windows on my way to Blockbuster)

And in the gym I see 3 separate guys on treadmills and ellipticals with fanny packs.

Now, the last time I went to the gym (and by "to the gym" I mean actually walked through those glass doors and worked up a sweat ... sort of) this equipment didn't actually take you anywhere, so I am not sure why 3 separate men felt they needed to take provisions ... maybe they are the modern man's equivalent of those sexy, soft leather saddlebags, but let's hope this is not some kind of a trend.

And speaking of fanny packs I once was explaining to Noelle of Xenotees about the cash bag I wear on my waist and use at shows and she said "oh, you mean you use a FANNY PACK?!" - which left me scrambling for a new cash bag.

Anyhoo- hubby came home all grumpy and dirty and reeking of testosterone (or maybe just kind of smelling like the pastrami and provolone he had for lunch) and for once I didn't mind.

And come to think of it he has no rhythm (well, his feet have no rhythm- he can actually tap out some mean Rush on the steering wheel, but I've never seen any kind of eyes closed fist pumps from him) and he would not be wearing a fanny pack (I hope) although he is getting older and does spend an awful lot of time in slippers lately ...

I know cowboys are not all they are cracked up to be (maybe) and they do walk kind of funny from all that horseback riding, but for some reason I am just missing them today ... off to get those bills from my back seat before they get lost....

10 comments:

Kella MacPhee Photojournalist said...

ha ha hilarious!

Indy Grrrl said...

I enjoyed reading this : )

SillyLittleLady said...

You make me laugh :)

Lost Mitten said...

That's hilarious! Who wears a fanny pack at the gym?! Great read :)

Sherry said...

Where have I been? I thought fanny packs had been outlawed along with "slouch socks"!!!

I'll take a testosterone man any day.
xo

M.M.E. said...

That's awesome! I once saw a guy at my college gym with a sandwich and a 1L of mountain dew on the treadmill. Apparently he was going to be there through his lunch hour.

Noelle said...

I actually think fanny packs might be coming back! How? I dunno- it's almost 2010! Oy vey!

Cat, I love reading your blog!!! Thanks for busting me ;D

(OMG---> what M.M.E. said- hahaha!)

Oh man, I hope that song isn't stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Especially the part "...while you go get a beeeeeeeeeeeEAR" - YIKES!

the Lost Earring said...

Oh my gosh. Crack up! If you coined that "four Walmart radius" phrase I'm super impressed! Well, I'm impressed anyway because I could never toss my bills into the backseat of the car, never ever. I would probably have a small heart attack if I tried.

Do you know the old silly corvette joke?

Just in case you don't...

What's the difference between a Corvette and a porcupine?

With a corvette the prick's on the inside. Har har.

PS To add to your little Cork trivia in the sidebar. I went to Ireland for a poetry workshop, and learned in a little village called Allihies that asking for a ride means you want sex. They call a car ride a "lift".

uncorked said...

thank you for the cork trivia! I love your banner! ACK there is a radio talk show guy around here who always talks about NJ in terms of Walmart radiuses - and now we all say it!

Unni Strand said...

I have a testosterone man/cowboy. I think it sometimes gets too much. He buys new furniture and cars without telling (or asking) me. He is so convinced about his own masculinity that he does things like for example, wearing the bright, plastic necklaces my four year old daughter makes, in public, without feeling embarrased at all.