Wednesday, November 18, 2009

It's Whining Wednesday or a real wine whine this time


The best thing about weekly whining is that when something disappointing happens I can pull out my little notebook and jot it down for my whining post

(not really, but if I actually did do this, I would write about way better stuff, because my memory is pretty much gone these days)

and then go back to being that glass half-full kind of girl that I know I really am down inside

(deep down inside)

Next week I am thinking it is time for Thankful Thursdays thru Christmas- 5 weeks of thankfulness can offset 47 weeks of whining, right?

Whine 1: This is an actual wine whine and even though it is a little lame, I have been on the lookout for one of these since I started whining because an actual wine whine, well you really can't ask for more than that, you know.

So anyhoo, the liquor store in our town has recently expanded into a liquor block (almost) - good to know at least one industry is thriving these days

and is all clean and shiny and new and I hadn't been in there since the grand opening, so I wandered in for some (cheap) white wine to make a chicken dish.

I plunked the bottle down on the counter and the counter girl who had been busy admiring the gigantic housefly tattoos on her very skinny arms in a bottle of white zinfandel muttered, "I'm gonna need to see some ID."

"Rad," I said.

(because when I'm happy, I sometimes talk like that annoying guy you hated in middle school)

The counter girl, sensing just a touch too much happiness in my 3 letter answer said, "Oh, I know you're old enough. It's for the computer". She slowly pecked my birth digits into the keyboard. "Because it can't see you."

(impressing me by knowing the cash register is not actually 'alive' and depressing me -just ever so slightly- that my carding days are way, way behind me, but mostly that this had just been pointed out to me by someone whose tats and tude made me want to roll up one of the newspapers on her counter and give her a swat)

But with the words, "that Cat- she wouldn't hurt a fly", ringing in my ears - I decided to let it go.

(plus I've been watching the Biography channel in my studio while I work these days and had seen Gandhi just that morning and felt inspired)

Now this wasn't a particularly interesting whine, but still a wine whine has to trump a regular whine any day plus I need to preserve this memory in case I ever run into horsefly girl again.

(like in a dark alley carrying a fly swatter)

Whine 2- I am noticing my vocabularly is getting very, very pathetic.

(and when I say pathetic I mean- small and repetitive and boring)

Back when I had a real job and was out in the real world with real people all day I could hold a fairly decent, smart and quick witted, conversation on some pretty involved subjects without sounding like a blabbering idiot.

But now that I work from home I am noticing my vocabularly has taken a step (or two, or maybe a couple football field lengths) backward.

Here are the things I find myself saying most often in no particular order:

1. Dammit!
2. You're fine
3. OK seriously
4. God I hate you
5. I can't believe that (insert name of item here) is on the front page
6. I seriously don't have time for this
7. That will be $50.00 - now get dressed and get out (just kidding)

(it's way more than $50.00)

Other than the word seriously which I am clever enough to use in multiple situations several times I day - I am pretty much a 3-4 letter word kind of girl now, which I am thinking makes me about grade two.

I need one of those word a day calendars and someone to require me to use those words in real life situations daily.

(like a vocabularly coach ... hmmm - this may be a new industry created especially for the work-at-home sector ... and remember to give me credit and cash, if you start doing this ... or, at least, free mentoring)

Using dictionary.com's word a day calendar flashcards, this is how my new and improved 'things I say most often list' might sound:

1. Exegesis = Exegesis!
2. Hoi Polloi = You're hoi polloi
3. Fungible = OK, fungible
4. Truculent = God, I hate truculent
5. Sycophant = I can't believe that sycophant is on the front page
(hey that one might still work once in a while)
6. Galump = I seriously don't have time for this galumping
7. Scuttlebutt = That will be scuttlebutt- now get dressed and get out (just kidding)

(it's way more than scuttlebutt)

Or I could just settle for my declining vocabularly and ability to talk to seven year olds and of course with my memory pretty much gone, I may have to.

Looking at the bright side (that half-full thing again, remember) a seven year old vocabularly sounds pretty youthful to me and I may never get carded (for real) again, but at least I still have my flashcards.

9 comments:

holly aka golly said...

"tats and tude" - you are killing me! Too funny!

Sydney said...

I'm going to piss myself...I can't get enough of your Whining Wednesday, mainly because I know the thoughts in my head are shared by others as well.

balanced. said...

hahaaha!

This post is rad.

B said...

Thanks for the chuckle. I am with you on the vocabulary front. I used to have a wonderful vocabulary. Now I don't think any words with more than 4 letters come out of my mouth. And to make it worse I can't even remember words sometimes!

And the wine whine....she deserves to be whacked with a fly swatter.

readingsully2 said...

I needed a good laugh today and you gave it to me. Thanks. :)

Unni Strand said...

You can just imagine what my job with teenagers does to my vocabulary...

Made by SwirlyGirl said...

Hilarious! You've got a new follower!
Laurie http://madebyswirlygirl.blogspot.com

ArtSnark said...

I always enjoy a good whine with my wine ;D

Lim said...

Now, of course, I'm thinking of Erma Bombeck nad her list of phrases. "You should have gone before you left."
Thanks for the laugh.