Thursday, April 12, 2012

I'm late, I'm late ...

for a very important date ...


the dreaded April 15th approaches ...

(which also happens to be David's birthday - coincidence? I think being born on a day that makes 309,000 Americans tremble is probably not a lucky thing)

I just realized (yes, I am opening my tax documents on April 12th - me bad) that some stores that sent me MISC-1099's pay me through Paypal and so are also included in my 1099K - I hope it doesn't make me look fishy when the IRS does their tallying (although I guess they have thought this all through) ...

note to self - do not do anything that will add to the fishiness of this return like the year I only had a red marker handy and used that or the year I left a mocha-scented stain in the shape of Elvis Costello in the upper right hand corner

and hubs and I are going to a customer's (of his that I have never met) house for dinner this weekend which is also stressful. I shook loose some Emily Post-style etiquette from the deeper recesses of my brain today and called his customer's wife to see if we could bring anything and she said

"just bring whatever you would want us to bring if we came to your house"

which is so not something to tell me because now I am thinking either a new Nook cover (which they may or may not need and I may or may not be able to get to take home with me at the end of the night) or George Clooney, lightly drizzled with maple syrup.

Although I wasted some time deciding whether they'd dig a fabric floral or a smaller but more maneuverable magnetic leather cover in the end I decided it best to play the professional wife of man going to customer's house here and bring wine which I have to admit I know next to nothing about -

yes, I know you probably thought I did, but I only know wine corks- as in where they come from, how they are produced and that the red ones have stains that are very, very hard to work with

and since the kinds I tend to purchase have a handle on top of the box so you can more easily lift it onto the sofa beside you to most easily snuggle with it during particularly intense Celebrity Apprentice episodes - not that I do this ...

(Celebrity Apprentice is my reality show obsession this season - I am without a favorite player right now though - maybe Paul, Sr)

and I always ignore anything with a domesticated animal on the label or with the kind of ornate curling fonts you see in funeral programs - this does not leave me many options - if anyone has a suggestion please let me know, with an emphasis on please.

In the middle of this my nephew called and asked me if I had won the internet yet (is everything a game to this under 36" crowd?) -

and actually looking at my estimated (I should say guess-timated at this point) net income figures I am not so much in a winning position as loitering somewhere around St. James Place.

But at least I'm on the board and in the game - I have passed GO and did not go directly to jail ... yet ... which reminds me - I have to get back to my taxes - have an amazing weekend everyone

(yes, I realize it is only Thursday, but tomorrow night I will be delivering George Clooney that bottle of wine).

I hope your tax returns are stamped and sent and you are snuggled on the sofa with a six pack of red watching Celebrity Apprentice - also let me know which player you are most annoyed with .... xo all

* alice print by the amazing Anne-Julie Aubrey of the Nebulous Kingdom and yes she has a locket or two


lynn bowes said...

Aubrey O'Day - who the heck is she and how did she get this far? Now that Lou is gone, I'm rooting for everyone else. Oh, not that I watch or anything - ahem.

And about George Clooney drizzled in maple syrup - seriously, come visit, stay for two years and be sure to bring George along as a little hostess gift. I'm sure I can find a place for him.

Catherine Ivins said...

Ack! I figured she was some American Idol finalist or something - who knows?? but if she plays the "I am young and amazing" card again I will scream ... I liked Lisa, but am now sick of her ranting and petty jealousy - and actually I don't know who she is either!