Sunday, August 12, 2012

when a bowl of cherries really is a serious thing ....


Yes, I'm still alive

although I should state clearly here, since no one in my family listens to a word I say, and this should be written down somewhere that in the event of my actual demise -

probably in some "gotta get healthy, better eat some fruit" related mishap (which I will explain later) - I want Monty Python's "Dead Parrot" sketch to serve as my memorial, obviously replacing Norwegian Blue with Cat Ivins.

Anyhoo, I have been slowly pulled

(yes, like taffy - my legs are about 6 foot long now)

back into myself by 6 accupuncture sessions, the amazing daily weather - hot, with the most gorgeous blue skies and cloud formations I have seen since I was six years old and would lay in the weeds with my sister finding unicorns and goddesses in the sky and our imaginings -

frequent barefoot walks in the backyard grass

(I have been saying for years that Olive is so smart and conscientious she only poops in this one patch of ivy in the backyard .. I found out many times this week that this is not true, dammit)

- and the Olympic games which I have been crying over for days and days.

(are these not the most amazing people on the planet - good God I love them all - felt so terrible for those Russian gymnasts - wish everyone could win)

I should also say that since I stopped blogging, my blog readership has increased, just another sign from the universe that sometimes it pays to know when to just shut up.

I will have some answers tomorrow on some health stuff which remains unchanged - the accupuncture doesn't seem to have done much for that - it has helped bring back some motivation and focus that I had lost although I have to admit it is still determined to play hide and seek with me ...

I am preparing for New York International Gift Fair in a few days and have never felt so unprepared for anything

(with the possible exception of childbirth, my first driving test - luckily I was an old pro by my third and that time I interviewed for a job and forgot the name of the position I was applying for - note ... it was CASHIER)

The one good thing about dealing with anything health related is that it puts everything else into perspective and my goal for New York is now to "have fun", truly, truly I am going to "have fun"

and stay away from cherries.

(ok time for the gotta get healthy, better eat some fruit story if you are still with me)

I was home alone.

(well, Olive was here, but very determined to separate a toy mouse from its squeaker at the time and paying no attention to me)

I was eating a cherry (gotta eat more fruit) and had the entire cherry in my mouth (stem removed, of course).

I had separated the cherry from the pit and obviously what any normal person would do at that point is take the pit out of their mouth. But what did I do? I took the cherry out of my mouth and swallowed the pit. This all took place in about 2 seconds. I immediately realized my error - mostly because I couldn't breathe

thinking fast (I am a quick thinking Jersey girl after all) - did I try to perform some kind of kitchen chair heimlich on myself, well, no - did I call 911 before I lost the ability to speak? well, no - so what did you do Cat, you are thinking because obviously I am still alive, as I stated in my opening sentence.

Well, I grabbed a pen and wrote CHERRY PIT in big letters on a paper napkin ... so people would know what happened to me and sat down.

(luckily the damn thing popped out of my mouth a second later all by itself - acid reflux has its advantages I guess)

So, I am off to watch the closing ceremony of the Olympics - I love these kids!

(I noticed hubs brought home some cherries again today - kind of like tossing peanut butter into the peanut allergy kid's backpack, I think - I'll have to keep my eye on him)

xo all

4 comments:

lynn bowes said...

Remember Erma Bombeck? You need to write a book, I swear. You're the next Erma. (Cherry Pitt - yer killin' me here.)

KJ said...

Glad the cherry pit did not do you in. Perhaps had it stayed down you would have had a cherry tree growing in your stomach to cross with all those watermelons from the watermelon seeds we swallowed as kids.

Glad to have you back. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Oh, and much like your blog readership, let us hope that your sales go up when you are the most unprepared ever with the goal of having fun in mind.

Catherine Ivins said...

ooh I hadn't related the sales thing KJ - I like it! Yes, I am sadly old enough to remember Erma, Lynn - my book will need to be something about making a mess of your life by making stuff - I think I actually started it somewhere, but things are too messy to find it ... love ya

doforanimals said...

Glad you are still with us. I think Lynn is on to something here. Ms. Bombeck did write "If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?" so there's already a connection.

Good luck with the NY Gift Fair. Be sure to take a bite out of that Big Apple, although I don't know if that qualifies as being good for your health. It's worth a try though.