Monday, August 27, 2012

when the cat's away ...

This is what Olive does when I am away -

she waits

she waits on the front porch

she waits by the front door

she lays on the bed in our room and listens ...

Hubs does the exact same thing ... really ... it is just my imagination that he seems about to burst with joy when I leave and he will be home alone.

"Wait, you're leaving - what will I do without you?" - he pretends to be sad while his mind races through the million things he never gets to do when I am here, that he will now get to do as much as he wants to. I have no idea what these things are and I do not really want to know.

I know he eats alot of salad when I am gone - without me - this guy would be so much healthier.

He also sleeps. Alot.

He is kind of the MacGyver of sleeping (thank you Holly for reminding me of this awesome show) - he can sleep through anything - glasses on, boots tied, laptop lying crookedly on his chest - he is out within seconds. But he is a sleep-liar.

He will never admit he is asleep.

ME (quietly taking the remote)
HUBS (eyes closed): *snort* NO! No cooking shows! I’m still awake!
ME: No, you’re not.
HUBS: *snort*
ME: Are you awake?
HUBS: *snort* *snarfle*
ME: You are asleep.
HUBS: *snarfle* No,no I’m not… *snort* *snarfle* What? Who’s asleep? *snort*
ME: You’re sleeping. I’m taking the remote.
HUBS: *snort* Whaa? *snort* Who? *snort* No, I’m NOT! *snort*

NOTE: *snort* = imagine the sound a gigantic pig might make rooting in the mud (not that hubby is a gigantic pig, but if you come into our bedroom at night and close your eyes, you will totally believe there is one in here with us)

So, when I am away and call home - he always claims to be working on some project around the house when I can tell from his voice (snort) that he has just woken up.

He also continually uses the wrong question word - this is totally unrelated, but drives me nuts and I am feeling the need to document it this morning.

So, for example I say "so and so has a new car" and he'll ask "where?" or I'll say "it looks like rain" and he'll ask "who?" - this is obviously a listening to me thing, because I have never heard him do this with anyone else.

DRIVES .. ME ... NUTS.

I am leaving again. I am flying to Seattle on Thursday with Kella and Chris to sell my goodies at Bumbershoot and visit my west coast family for a few days.

When I booked this trip Labor Day seemed like weeks after New York Gift and I thought I would have plenty of time for everything I needed to do. UGH!

For me, the first stress of any trip is the airplane ride. The last time I flew I spent five hours and thirty-six minutes wedged into the middle seat next to a man who spent the entire flight coughing, sneezing, and being as aggressively contagious as he could possibly be without actually licking his hands and wiping them on my face. UGH AGAIN!

(note to self - buy airborne)

Anyhoo, I had better get to work this morning. I got something like 27 new accounts from New York Gift - YAY - but first have oodles to finish up for Bumbershoot.

I will try and post about New York Gift this week before I leave. It was an adventure!

xo all

4 comments:

Cait Throop said...

OMG you are hilarious!!! "No more cooking shows" My husband EXACTLY!!! btw...I hate flying.

Catherine Ivins said...

the only thing I like about flying is ... well, nothing actually Cait - it is just a terrible way to travel! I don't get why some people don't like watching food cook that they are not going to get to eat ...

xo

KJ said...

I don't get why people watch golf.

You know it seems contradictory your husband eating a more healthy menu with you away and your watching cooking shows.

Now my Dad will fall asleep with the remote in his hand and cradled on his chest so nobody can turn off the TV or switch channels. How did this evolutionary trait slip into the gene pool in so few years?

27 new accounts is awesome. Hope you do as well in Seattle.

DancingMooney ♥ said...

You are so amazing Cat. I don't know how you do it all, but you do.

Travel safe and I hope our northwest weather brings you joy when you arrive! {whatever that may be, rain or sun, or a mix of the two...}