|myan soffia 'you're a star' polarity locket|
Last night I was driving down the parkway totally lost in my own thoughts
when a toll collector jolted me back into my body by asking, "well, what am I supposed to do with this?" - when instead of the change I should have pulled from my bag (we haven't found our ezpass since vacation), I handed him my eyeglasses.
There was also the incident some time ago when I tried to open the front door to my house with my car keys
(not by trying to put the key into the lock, but by standing in front of the door clicking the open button - note to some genius out there - you really need to make this happen).
The mind's capacity is finite (soul=infinite, mind=not so much) - maybe like our laptops it can only hold so much information.
I don't really want to be so absentminded, but if my mind needs to create some space for the really important stuff by letting go of some minutiae then I am ok with this.
(I find it best to be ok with things I have no choice about anyway)
The quality of our life is determined by what we pay attention to after all.
This kind of relates to what I wanted to blog about (in the way that everything relates to everything) which is so many people feeling strongly drawn to following our passion
(even when we do not know exactly what this is - we usually know what it isn't - contrast is a great teacher and I'm pretty certain a big part of what we are here for)
quitting our day jobs, working from our hearts, doing work that provides value to others, etc and how this is impacted by this shift we are living through.
This shift includes the dismantling of our safety nets (not in an every man for himself kind of way, but more about how things fall apart so things can come together) - we are not meant to be fighting the current here, we need to be all about moving down river right now.
There is alot of talk about people losing their jobs, but not so much talk about the people who kept theirs.
People who are in the same place they used to be while the entire landscape is shifting around them- maybe they are feeling like they want to be somewhere else (there is only so much doing more with less people in companies can do after all) but like the gangster who finds himself saddled with cement shoes (although things are not nearly so dire believe me) they are stuck - by the insurance, by the money - they need their job.
Now, I am a student of a Course in Miracles and a believer that you cannot be on the wrong road - you can definitely be on a long road though. God, your Soul, your Higher Self - whatever is most comfortable for you to insert here - isn't pushing us or pulling us along - it is calling to us.
One way to know if we are on one of these long roads is tension. That silver cord or consciousness thread that connects our soul to our body is a very real thing. When we are close to our soul, on the best path for us we have a feeling of satisfaction - we are in ac-cord, the cord and our bodies are relaxed. When we are taking the long way, like Olive pulling on her leash (she becomes like a hundred pound rottweiler when she doesn't want to go somewhere - she leaves me worn out and totally amazed by her awesomeness) - we feel the tension on our cord and in our bodies - we are getting too far away from our soul path - we are is dis-cord.
Anyhoo, back to our peeps with the jobs - and this applies to the space in each of our lives where we feel 'stuck' - the place we stand in our cement shoes - maybe what looks like it's in the way, actually is the way ...
Next up - maybe what's in the way actually is the way part II - the why behind the what
|cork ring by olive bites|
Maybe because this particular thing was never something I really wanted to do in the first place or maybe I have done this particular thing a million times before or maybe it just seems thankless or unimportant or there is something else I would rather do - it doesn't really matter.
The tightness though - the indication that we have pulled away from our purpose, that we are tugging a little too tightly on that line that tethers us body to soul - does matter.
(this tightness is probably the very first indicator of the inflammation that leads to disease, too - we have literally outgrown ourselves; alot of new-age gobbledy goop is fast becoming new-age science)
This does not mean that I should stop doing what I am doing (although it might) - it does mean that I am focused on the what and not on the why.
Let's say I take a job at a grocery store stocking shelves - the what is that I am stacking cans on shelves - making sure the labels line up, making sure that things are in their proper places, making it easier for other people to find the things they are looking for. The "what" - the doing part - is important. These cans have to get on these shelves and someone's hands have to put them there.
But in another way the "what" is totally irrelevant because there are a million other things I could be doing. It's the why behind the what that really matters. It's the why behind the what that our soul cares about. The vibration of the why is what we line up with.
Our own perspective is the only one that matters here. What we do simply provides us with the means to be who we are. We are not our job; we are not our doing (we are a human-being after all) - our job; the doing, is just a vehicle through which we get to experience who we are.
If the stacking shelves is an underemployment situation for me and I am often annoyed by it (not good since I will focus on the annoyance and I will line up vibrationally with more and more things that annoy me) - I can move into a better vibration by allowing that I have created this place for myself as part of my spiritual journey. This work is simply a context to be who I am.
Who am I being when I take care of myself and other people by earning income? Who am I being when I help busy people find what they are looking for faster? What aspect of myself am I expressing when I pay my bills or buy someone a gift with money I have earned?
Look at what we are doing with our money - maybe this is who we are.
Next Up - maybe what seems like it's in the way actually is the way part III - growing where we are planted
|grow where planted locket - jude mcconkey|
(soul/God whatever you are most comfortable with here)
has lined up to get us where we need to be - maybe without this space called problem our journey would be longer or harder - maybe this actually is the path of least resistance.
This is a planet of polarity
(which is more than a locket although the locket is pretty cool and you should get yourself one - blog readers use code BLOGBITES for 10% savings)
- a planet of contrast - often we learn what we do want by experiencing what we don't want - and sometimes that thing we don't want turns out to be exactly that thing we need.
Of course, it only looks like this in hindsight.
After I left banking, had a mini-breakdown, had a major break-through, did the mall cart thing for a few years and before I found Etsy - I had a commercial embroidery business. I did embroidery on shirts, caps, jackets, etc for local businesses from my home. The business didn't start out that way though.
It started when I bought a commercial 12 needle embroidery machine with a $30,000 price tag (including supplies, computer, table, etc - three years later I bought a 2nd one used for $5000 - these things depreciated big time - ugh - the $30,000 was from stock options I had from my banking days. I think it didn't even feel like real money to me and this is what allowed me to be so detached from it).
I had been selling other products on mall carts and so lined up a space in a mall to do personalized baseball caps, baby bibs, etc. The mall was about an hour from my house. I had no experience with embroidery and no passion for it, but thought it would be a big money-maker (and it was - for a lot of other people - the ones with the passion probably).
I had done things just for the money before and they had always worked for me (mostly) - I didn't realize though that life was requiring a little more from me now - I had been promoted so to speak, my vibration didn't line up with 'do it for the money' anymore.
I knew this in my heart but my head was still playing by the old rules.
The morning I drove to the mall to sign the lease I had major tension in my neck - I knew I had not done my homework on this machine (it was not as easy to operate as I thought it would be) - I knew I had no passion for a 2 hour daily commute and that managing employees an hour from home would be stressful.
In fact, the day I wired the money for the machine I had felt sick and tense. I thought at the time it was a buyer's remorse response and discounted it, but now I know that tension was a very clear signal to stop. I didn't.
(life had sent me the pebble and since I had ignored it - hit me with the rock)
I did stop myself from signing that mall lease though. I called the mall manager and told her I'd changed my mind. I had no idea what to do with the machine. I couldn't sell it - hubs was like "how much did this cost?!" - I had to make this work somehow. I did a mailing to some local businesses including a trophy shop that did embroidery. I kind of bluffed my way into getting their embroidery account and they sent me some small jobs that I did well.
(I embroidered every single piece of clothing and fabric I could get my hands on for practice. My daughter was going to school with college fraternity symbols, EMT stars and other people's monograms on her clothes- luckily she was still young to think this was sort of cool. Hubs was another story. Even though he has never been fussy about what he wears and only says "no sweater vests" and even though I only rarely used his shirts and even then always sewed near the hems since he's a tucker - he was not so into the random sewings.)
The trophy shop started sending me bigger jobs.
One day they sent me some jackets for a local fire department and I somehow managed to embroider the backs of 3 jackets totally crooked - the kind of crooked that can only be made straight if each fireman would agree to walk around with one shoulder 3 inches higher than the other - I considered this, but decided I needed to order new jackets. It turned out the jacket maker would not sell 3 pieces to me and I didn't want to let the trophy shop know about my screw up.
I decided to try a tailor. I took out all the stitches and took the jackets to a tailor who through some kind of tailor magic was able to mend enough holes that I could resew them without anyone knowing.
He asked me if I wanted to put my business card on his bulletin board.
(he somehow didn't see me as a total screw-up and for this I am forever grateful)
A couple weeks later a gymnastics/ballet/cheerleading shop saw my card and eventually I got all the local cheerleading teams through her (which would not have happened without my jacket nightmare). Those accounts (and Ebay) kept me going until she sold her business and the new owner bought their own embroidery machines - it was exactly at the time I was ready to move on so worked out perfectly for all of us.
That embroidery business was never a big money-maker. Eventually I paid for the machine and made some money and I did buy that second machine so I must have needed it at some point. Most of my memories about that business revolve around the repetitive motion damage to my hands and neck, which is a whole other story.
I had ignored life's pebble (you are stepping on someone else's ship Cat - this is not your ship) and of course, the rock had taught me the same lesson - the hard way, but maybe it was the way I needed to learn it and actually it was the way I needed to learn it because it was the way I learned it.
This story was so long (and yes, I realized this has been 5 minutes of your life you will not be getting back - don't hate me) that I lost track of the "grow where planted part" so will get to that in part IV.
I am not totally sure what yesterday's post had to do with 'maybe what seems like it's in the way, actually is the way' but I did learn a lot from getting myself into and out of that mess.
(fortunately I have not let this stop me from climbing in and out of newer and even messier messes - I recommend work boots and seventh generation hand soap)
Leaping into something we have no passion for is not something I would recommend - doing it for the money works great for some people; the people who believe it will.
(if you believe it is wrong to do something just for the money, then don't - you will attract a million reasons to hate what you are doing and most likely muck it all up and make no money anyway)
I absolutely believe it is OK to do things just for the money (providing of course we are not going against our values with this - no stealing, lying, cheating or working for companies that do these things, etc) - the why we are doing what we are doing is the important part.
The things that appear to be in the way, the things that look like they are stopping us are actually the very things we (our higher self, soul, God) have chosen to get us to the next thing. Maybe skipping steps doesn't work. Maybe without that thing that looks like failure, but we know is really feedback we couldn't get to the next part of our journey or maybe we have learned some lesson from it that we will use later. We have to trust ourselves.
I know that as a maker every single time I am confronted with a problem with my makings (supplier out of business, some product I use gets changed in some way, venue I sell on changes, etc) my makings always end up stronger in the end.
And if it doesn't look that way to me I know that it is not the end.
|gorgeous lidded box by mudcakes|
(it can take a little age to see that this is not what it means at all, and if we see it that way, it is definitely not our message - if we see it that way, it is a clear sign we need to get our ass moving)
Now I know (or think I do) enough about the law of attraction (which is a very real thing and has almost nothing to do with getting anybody a Mercedes) to know that what we resist persists and we can only attract something new that we will love by loving what we have now (this is the tricky part).
Gratitude, forgiveness, compassion - appear to move mountains because the mountain is an illusion.
The only thing that can ever really get in our way is us (and since we are the way, well you know where this is going ....).
Have a wonderful weekend all - hubs and I saw Shawn Colvin and Mary Chapin Carpenter last night and they were just amazing - on stage together the whole night - it was magical.