Showing posts with label lovely crochet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lovely crochet. Show all posts

The Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent

So, anyhoo, lots of new stuff to report tonight before I am off to drown my sorrows in great quantities of aspirin or liquor.

First of all, I hired myself an intern (I just love that word so much) and she started today.

(note the word hired which means some money is changing hands and note the word intern which means not much money)

She has a very vague job description which I thought up late last night and wrote on the back of an M&M's wrapper.

(yes, the new coconut ones- not sure what I think of them yet- need to get another bag before commenting since hubby ate most of them and yes, I wanted to recycle that wrapper even if it meant gumming my pen up with melted chocolate)

Before you get all happy for me (or a little bit jealous) let me just say that she is in high school (pre-driving age) and she is working for me one day a week (the day I have enough accounts and money coming in to actually hire an adult person with a driver's license is probably the day I will be run over by my distracted UPS driver).

Nina's (name has been changed to protect the innocent) first day left me with a little bit of a headache (okay quite a bit of a headache) partly because I am not used to teenage conversation or any conversation that doesn't involve a keyboard really and I somehow managed to hire the one teenage girl on the face of the planet who did not read Twilight (what the heck am I going to talk to her about) and the one teenage girl (I hope) with a crush on ... David Caruso (red head CSI)!

(I will definitely be taking action on this one- this is way too scary to allow to continue- I may even have to involve her parents)

After she left (ie after I drove her home) I had a semi-new neighbor drop by to introduce me to her newest guy and since I am feeling a bit motherly to this new neighbor for some reason, I managed to pepper her guy with 20 questions without ever leaving my front porch.

"Are you married?", "No".
"Do you have a job?", "Yes." then he added "with benefits".

(impressing me by anticipating my next question- this was obviously a guy who could think on his feet)

"Do you like dogs?" "Sure"
"Great because Tina (name has been changed to protect the innocent) has a dog."

(I do have a few more social skills than this scenario suggests and didn't really fire off these questions quite so randomly ... but almost)

"Where do you live?"
"I live in my van." *points to van in my driveaway*

(note this is not a Volkswagen, hippie, heading to a Phish show kind of van- which would only be a tiny bit better anyway- this was more of a mom heading to soccer practice with three cranky kids kind of van)

So anyhoos, as you can imagine I can't remember anything past this point because I pretty much stopped processing and my itty bitty headache has grown into something with a life of its own which I am now calling Nina/Tina (name changed to protect the innocent) and swallowing large quantities of aspirin and water (well, it is the color of water) to drown ....

(on the bright side the weather today was amazing)
1. Relief Soy Candle by OffBeet
2. Crochet Necklace by LovelyCrochet
3. Storyville Lace Top by BayouSalvage
4. Sunbather Cufflinks by PosyStudio
5. Keep on Truckin by fstopinertia