you don't have a problem you have a predicament ...

A friend said to me this week - "you don't have a problem,

problems have solutions

you have a predicament

predicaments only have prayers"

(and yes, it did make me google predicament because I didn't realize a predicament, although the word does conjure up dire images of maidens tied to railroad tracks ... that could just be me from too many years watching Underdog or Bullwinkle or Mighty Mouse or whatever that was ...  is that much different than a problem)

predicament (pri-dik-uh-muhnt) noun
catch -22, bind, corner, no win situation

I'll write a post about the particulars at some point, but just not today.

It is amazing how much time and energy and power we invest in trying to solve things that are just not solvable even when we know better ...

So, for the week ahead - I will be asking not for a solution, but just to be shown how to live with what already is. Let's see where this takes me ....

the blessing in disguise ....

Sometimes the things we are dealing with feel so big and so important

that making the right decision feels ...

well, literally like life and death -

and this death could be an actual death and it could be the actual death of a dream and since our dreams are literally the stuff our future selves are created from - the death of a dream is huge

And we find ourselves looking for answers about what to do and no matter how still and how quiet we get the only answer seems to be this uncomfortable feeling that something important is happening here and we had better be paying attention ...

and of course, this feeling is uncomfortable because it is a gift -

(if it was comfortable we wouldn't pay attention to it)

so maybe instead of asking for an answer we should be asking for a journey and the ability to recognize the blessings in disguise as we encounter them ...

* his and hers disguises by yellow heart art

New Wine Cork Earrings in Uncorked and a special coupon code





I made some wine cork button earrings for a special bride's special day and a few more for my shop Uncorked.

10% off any Uncorked purchase thru 3/23 with the coupon code BRISTOL (the bride's name - no, not that Bristol) - have an amazing weekend everyone! xo

you don't have to be a lion to sound like one

if you have to wait
for it to roar out of you,
then wait patiently,
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else

...charles bukowski

(lovin' this today - what with it
being international women's day
and all)

when it's better to receive ... more business lessons from the home front

It is better to give than to receive -

just another "truth" that isn't well ... always quite so truthy.

Recently someone asked David, who had defined his occupation as panhandler only 70 days ago, after paying David $25 for a car wash -

"doesn't it feel better to earn $25 than to be given $25 for doing nothing?"

and of course it does feel better to the person doing the earning, because our society places a value on earning and working and we have all internalized this

(warning short rant ahead - maybe this will change when we all internalize, through the crumbling of institutions and lack of employment that paying to live on this planet and working hard at an unpalatable job just to keep a roof over our heads is part of the old paradigm - life is calling on us to find work that makes us feel alive and joyful and instead of running around in circles looking for jobs similar to the jobs that have left us, we need to do the internal work that will draw our right livelihood to us)

but it is just as giving to receive the gift as it is to give it.

It feels good to give.

If someone offered me $5.00 though I wouldn't take it. I would say "no, I don't need this, you keep it".

If someone offered David $5.00 he would take it. The giver would feel good and it would be David giving that person the gift of feeling good.

This better to receive lesson translates to our business in many ways. Only so much can go out before something has to come back in.

Undervaluing ourselves and our work serves no one.

(save that for our copycats in their race to the bottom with their Chinese metals that are not metal and "making" ie applying toxic glue)

Time and energy given out without time and energy taken in serves no one ... not for long anyway.

Next time we are offered up something from life, let's really, really take it in.

(with grace and gratitude and a really large heaping of ... YES, GIMME MORE OF THAT!)

1. Absorb the wonderful feedback you just received - because you are totally awesome and have been working your ass off and earned it

2. When offered the last cookie ... take it

3. When offered help that you would normally refuse ... accept it and be grateful

(gratitude is like a beacon to the universe to send you more)

And maybe if you have been giving for a long time without receiving, you need to become a greedy little bastard for awhile to balance things out and that is ok, too.

(of course, if you are normally inclined to be a greedy little bastard pretty much the opposite may be true for you, but most creative people I know are too quick to give away their power)

Maybe we can change "it's better to give than to receive" into "it's amazing to give and it's amazing to receive, too".

xo all

thankful thursday - business lessons from the home front


I have had so many aha moments lately

(where the hell is Oprah when we need her?)

and maybe the biggest aha AHA has been that when we know something we cannot unknow it.

Life just doesn't support our playing dumb.

(when we were kids and we got in trouble, my sister would cover her eyes thinking that if she could not see our parents they could not see her - even then it didn't work - well, it probably did work because she was kinda cute, but it shouldn't have worked, dammit)

When we learn something and we resonate with it and we know that it is true for us and we do not live it, well, things have a way of just not working out and at the very least things have a way of being alot harder.

It's like we get off easy with a little dumb luck early on, but then life says - ok this one knows more and then ... more is expected.

Anyhoo, although I know from my business that it is best to set my intention and work/enjoy the process without trying to control exactly how everything is going to happen, somehow I have not been translating this knowing to life with David.

We set our intention, take action in that direction, then trust that life will take care of the details.

I realized that this was exactly what I was not doing with David.

I was totally focused on the 'hows' - how to get him to agree to see a psychiatrist, get him housing, health insurance, etc, etc - how was I ever going to make these things happen - I was failing.

Then it hit me that maybe the 'hows' are not my job. And it hit me that I already know this, but I just haven't been doing it.

So, I set a clear intention for myself, because I can't control any of this (and I definitely can't control David) and have been doing what I can with what I have from the place I am right now.

I started seeing David visiting a psychiatrist, moving into a wonderful place with other dual diagnosis men, getting to the doctor, having a happy life and I started spending an hour a day (total) doing something in these areas.

Life rewards action after all, but I also have alot of other things to take action on and since the hows are not my job I trust that there are stronger, better hands at work here.

(since changing my thinking or I should say since taking actions that support the truths I already embrace with my thinking - David has agreed to see a psychiatrist, is going to social services tomorrow for the first time with his new intensive case manager - yay, it took 2 months, but we got one - and he got his fishing license)

xo all

* shoe print by cookstah