just because she's beautiful doesn't mean you aren't - part II - scarcity thinking

Part I is HERE.

We live in a world where everyone's "bright shiny new thing" that is happening to them is visible to us. We have always sort of lived in this world, our world is just a whole lot bigger now (or smaller depending on how you look at it), so there are a lot more bright, shiny new things to see.

When we were kids and the neighbors got a new car, everyone probably hopped in for a ride and then we walked home with parents wondering aloud if the Browns could really afford that. Or maybe, if we were lucky, we walked home with parents excited for their friends' good fortune.

I want to be the person excited for everyone else's good fortune.

(and yes, I know as soon as I write this, life will offer me the opportunity to learn how to do this through practice by providing some really great fortune to someone I know - I hope it is YOU - please buy a lottery ticket and ... remember your friend Cat from Jersey)

I don't want to be the person grumbling to myself about how someone could be on vacation again. But I am. The grumbler, I mean. I want need to stop.

And yes, I know that everything isn't as wonderful as it seems in Facebook land and other public places. I realize I cannot be comparing my inside to someone else's outside unless I am determined to come up short (my inside is probably a rather messy place after all).

But there is some kind of scarcity mindset at play here.

I truly know we either live in a world of lack or a world of abundance and we get to live in the world we believe we live in. Yup, it's as simple as that.

I know this. It doesn't always stop the grumbles though.

(although a slice of pizza might - giving up dairy is making me batshit crazy folks)

The topic of scarcity interests me because I never feel as if I have enough time.

I know this is just something I believe. I also know this is not an absolute truth. It is just something that I have made true for me. I am determined to un-make it.

I'm busy, You're busy. We're all busy. Some people though are still creating time for hobbies and vacations and to get their car registered online before it's too late and they have to waste half a day at the DMV and they find the time to pay their credit card before the $35 late fee kicks in and to get to a freakin' dentist.

Psychological research has shown that when we experience emotional deprivation in childhood, this feeling of not being important or lovable enough can persist into adulthood as a “deprivation mindset.”

(since I am a student of evolutionary astrology I am not so quick to blame our childhood, since I believe we pretty much magnetized ourselves into exactly the situation we not only needed to be in, but that we were already a match for)

We may never feel as if we have enough of the things we need.

And actually this post is starting to feel like the leaky cup stuff  I wrote about almost 2 years ago (see time really is flying!), and the timing of this makes perfect sense to me actually (more on that later).

This "not having enough of the things we need" can show up as money stuff (I know from my days in banking that almost no one ever thinks they have enough money, no matter how much they actually have) and relationship issues, but any perception of lack can have its roots here.

This scarcity way of looking at things; this thinking that someone else having something means there is less for us is an unconscious thing. 

(it's not like I think someone has actually taken my seat on that airplane to Mexico after all)

But it affects what we notice, how we weigh our choices, what we decide and how we behave.

It's a bit like negative thinking - negative thinkers can reach the finish line just like positive thinkers can (I don't actually believe in finish lines, but I think you know what I mean here).

Positive thinkers see the opportunities and are able to act on them, negative thinkers see the problems and are able to avoid them. Both ways of thinking can get us from A to B - one of them is just a hell of a lot more fun and is nicer for others to be around. I think my own life could be a hell of a lot more fun and less frantic with some mindset tweaks. Next post I will tell you what I am doing and you can see if anything resonates with you and might be helpful..

UP NEXT - just because she's beautiful .... part III - how to know there is enough for us

New Moon in Libra September 23 - 24, 2014 - bringing us into relationship

my Libra Polarity Locket - 20% off thru 10/23!

Remember to check my daily forecast on the Armchair Astrologer today!

We have a New Moon in Libra late Tuesday night (either very late Tuesday or Wednesday morning is the best time to set New Moon intentions). Libra is ruled by Venus; Goddess of Passion. She is the ethereal force of love, attraction, kindred spirits, beauty and our aesthetic sensitivity.

(the opposite of aesthetic is anesthetic - there's a reason all our senses spring to life in autumn!)

She brings things and us into relationship.

(it was during the Libra Sun that our ancestors, finished with Virgo's harvest, settled back into their homes and local communities - back into balance with each other)

She entices us out and away from our tedious work on a cloudy afternoon just before the skies open up. We take refuge in a book shop where we trip over a lazy man's wet umbrella, knocking exactly the book we need to finish our job off the shelf and into our lap. Or into a coffee shop where we will meet our Mr. Darcy - or this is the way I like to imagine things anyway.

(she may just hang around the Match.com company's headquarters these days)

Venus attracts. The stuff we are attracted to are vital clues to our job here on planet Earth.

Libra rules marriage, negotiations, teamwork, harmony, sociability and diplomacy. It is an excellent time to have the best energetic support for new beginnings in these areas.

MONTHLY AFFIRMATION TIPS:

Get grounded - we have moved from an earth sign into air so this is important - always make affirmations from a  positive place (positive meaning certain) - write your affirmations down by hand in cursive, we want the letters all connecting and flowing together, speak them out loud. 

I used to write my affirmations on strips of paper and put them into a bowl of rice so I can mix them around every now and then with my fingers if things got stagnant, now I burn them and release the ashes into running water - then - and this is the important part - release your attention from them knowing that your intention is known.  

Some affirmations I am working with today are:

1. I effectively negotiate my situation with ____ creating a win-win for both of us. 

2. I feel internally balanced and peaceful.

3. I easily attract, recognize and begin working with the right people for my highest happiness.

4. I am easily at ease in social situations.

5. I have total clarity and am able to take action to make my relationships more satisfying.

6. I easily make decisions.

7. The habit of wanting 'peace at any price' is easily lifted from me.

8. I easily take actions that successfully restore perfect health to my adrenal glands.

Jan Spiller recommends ten, so I will come up with two more! The New Moon gives us a full two weeks to make something happen, but it really culminates 6 months from now with the Libra full moon. This particular New Moon has no major aspects to any planets - so it is very peaceful and powerful. Stuff started now will be around for a while. The Part of Fortune on the Ascendent and Jupiter's position encourages us to move toward what we are attracted to! xo all

(if what you are attracted to is one of my Polarity Lockets use coupon code NEW MOON until Friday for a 20% discount)

just because she's beautiful doesn't mean you aren't - part I

When my daughter started high school she tried out for the school soccer team. She was going from a very small elementary school

(and the only school in the district that was K-8th and didn't funnel students to the same middle school)

into a very large high school. A lot of talented girls took the field on try out day. I could see my daughter was nervous. I was nervous, too - in that way mothers get when they know their children really, really want something that is outside their control.

I said - "I'm so glad there are so many good players here today."

she said - "Huh?" 

she thought - (my mother has lost her freaking mind - where do I get a new mother)

I said - "You're a good player, too. You'll fit in with these girls."

she said - "What if they're too good?" 
I heard - ("what if I'm not good enough?")

I said - "Just because they're good doesn't mean you aren't."

she said - "There's only so many spots mom." 

As she ran onto the field I could hear the other parents yelling after their girls, "GO THERESA!", "YOU CAN DO IT!","GO SALLY!"

I started thinking my advice was kind of lame. What had I been thinking?!

My daughter needed warrior energy now, not advice from Dr. Phil!

I channeled Athena and managed to screech out something like "GET 'EM!" at exactly the moment the other parents got silent.

(my daughter's memory is that it was something like "KILL 'EM")

Last night at dinner I found myself saying something similar (they're good and you are, too) to hubs about another business down the street and him replying something like, "there's only so much work though."

(I did manage to restrain myself from screaming "GET KILL 'EM" this time)

Hubs isn't on Facebook. If he was he could see this guy announcing his new location and his new equipment and his relaxing vacation to Bermuda with his gorgeous wife and 2.5 smiling, towheaded children. George would never sleep again.

It has me thinking about the tools we need to live in a world where everyone's bright, shiny new "great thing that has happened to them" is visible to us. Also everyone's pain.

So, I'm starting a business series about this next week. We'll see where it leads.

We have a Balsamic Moon now - get some rest today!

this time for sure, I think

OK, so I really am moving the daily astrology forecasts on to my other blog this time. Check today's post HERE - it's right under that scary picture of me my daughter took, that's been strategically lightened in photoshop to blow out all my wrinkles. She likes it, so it stays for now. After today if you forget to bookmark the new blog just hit the link on the top right of this one. xo all

keep moving by latte design

the enemy of my enemy is my friend

insects by the amazing gollybard

We need wasps.

You may or may not remember the family visit in July that had me running around like a maniac, quickly followed by lying on the ground in a sweaty puddle of overwhelm quickly followed by me running around like a maniac.

One of the things I did to get ready for their visit that was totally unnecessary and pretty much just designed to make myself crazy was - paint the shutters. My shutters have been - black, lilac, mint green and now lemon yellow. Taking them down is precarious business with a two story house especially since we know from previous paintings that wasps (paper wasps) have built elaborate condos and townhouses behind them.

Plus I had been attacked by yellow jackets a few day earlier and was am still suffering from PTSD.

(I am serious as a heart attack and if you do not believe me just buzz in my ear or have your phone set to vibrate go off in my presence and see what I do - I will totally embarrass myself plus I might break your phone or ... nose.)

The back of every shutter (12 total) housed 6-10 wasps. And they were quite pissed. Of course being a law-abiding landlord I had sent them all the legal notifications and was totally clear they could return home and would even have a spiffy new lemon yellow exterior for their trouble. They didn't care.

Paper moths are not usually dangerous - but if you mess with their nests, it's a whole other story. They even send out pheromones that other wasps can pick up for miles that signal "HELP, our house is on fire" and the other wasps will rush over to keep their neighbors from being evicted, probably so they don't have to move in with them.

It was not a good day - for us or the wasps. There were a few casualties, but most of us survived. To cut to the chase (and yes, my friends it was a chase) - we hung some pretend paper bag nests on the lower porch to try and discourage them from building new nests behind the freshly painted first floor shutters, but we thought they would return to the second floor shutters.

They didn't; maybe because rainy weather kept us shutter-less for over a week. I don't know where they went, but it is obvious now, they have moved on. We used to see them all the time around the yard, but we have been pretty wasp-less since mid-summer.

At first this seemed like a good thing. I didn't have to worry about them stinging Olive if she trampled one or dodging them while watering my hanging baskets - but we soon discovered a major drawback to our wasp-less state - MOSQUITOES - we are over-run! And caterpillars and spiders.

On the plus side my shutters look very bright and cheery, just don't stand outside admiring them for more than 30 seconds or you won't be.

There is a business lesson in this, too - the enemy (well, in business I guess we would say rival) - the rival of my rival in my friend. Also eco-systems are fragile (I hope Etsy is listening).  xo all

BIZ Astrology for Tuesday, September 16th - manifesting mud pies

A few things going on today - the Moon moves into mothering, nurturing Cancer late this morning - Gemini's chitchat will go away and we can have some nice emotional grounding. We will want to pull into our shell and go quiet. That's OK (return calls though- today is a great day to make contact with someone important!). The Moon forms a nice trine with Neptune tonight that can make even uncomfortable conversations go well - do the Cancer nurture thing and make the other person all comfy cozy and welcome first. 

Lots of fire with Jupiter in Leo and Mars in Sagittarius, lots of exhilarating energy now and we also have Saturn making us focus. We can see the truth now.

The Virgo Sun's earth coupled with the Cancer Moon's water (think about your own magical mud pies today) makes this a wonderful day for manifesting.

Mercury crosses the North Node of the Moon which can bring people from our past (and past lives if you resonate with that way of thinking) back into our lives - you may not recognize them, but you will recognize them, if you know what I mean.

There are destiny aspects here. We could meet the love of our life now (and yes, maybe that guy from ancient Persia who we cheated out of a camel and now he is back to steal our car). Romantic risks can pay off. We could also meet someone younger who inspires us. We could sign a contract. Our new tribe is starting to form (more about this next month) - the wires keeping us in our chicken coop are all in our head - we can fly right out of there. Lots of clean slates now.

OK back to this manifesting energy today - listen up!

FIRST - with Mercury (and Venus) hitting the North Nodes today we may get some clues about our life direction. Our North Node is the direction our growth lies in this lifetime (our south node is the space we push off from). The house our north node is in is very important. Check your natal chart! This we need to memorize (if I have done your chart email me and I can tell you the house or email me your birthdate, place and time!).

Let's say we have a north node in the first house (or in Aries) - the house of self. Well, in this lifetime we need to focus on developing our own unique identity. Our south node will be in the 7th house (polarity) of partnership (Libra) - this is where we kick off. But if we try to gain our identity from partnership we will feel like we have been thrown into the ocean with anchors on our legs.

If something opens up now (or someone enters our life) connected to that North Node house - consider that a big old GREEN light.

SECOND - In a Tarot deck Mercury is the Magician card - an archetype many makers are familiar with even if they have never heard of him.

The Magician is the alchemist - the great conjurer; the maker of something out of nothing - we channel this energy all the time. I have a post on Mercury HERE that would be good to read now. This is an excellent day for ritual, for lighting a candle and setting the intention for what is truly ours to find us. This is a day where our words will matter.