Monday, March 18, 2013

growing our business by leaps and boundaries

Unbounded Girls Polarity Ring with Sarah Donnell
Setting boundaries for our business isn't a one time set it and forget it kind of thing.

(unless you are in the crockpot business and if you are please hook me up with some new recipes - I just got one - I am already obsessed with it)

It's a practice.
 
We are always growing; always expanding.

(and when it feels like things are standing still it is just because things outside of us are busy catching up with us or falling into place for us)

We have no choice in this. It is just how the universe works. Our business works the same way.

When we are in the process of deciding to step into a new space or a new level or achieve something we have never tried before or whatever this looks like for us - there is always this part of us that wants the exact opposite.

(this is what polarity is all about folks, it's not just a locket after all)

There is a part (maybe an arm or a leg or an ovary) that just wants to hunker down and stay where we are

This isn't a bad thing (until it is, because it will be sooner or later).

A few quiet moments getting centered in our own heart will tell us if this "stay where we are" thing is about love - really loving where we are right now and wanting to wring every last drop of joy from it or if this "stay where we are" thing is about fear - of the unknown, of failing, of making a fool of ourself, of letting go of something good to just maybe have something great.

Creating boundaries around what we say we want is the best leverage we have against all the inner struggle (which might look like outer resistance, but it's really all inner stuff - trust me) that is certain to show up as soon as we decide we want something more.

Setting and upholding clear and healthy boundaries creates a place where self-sabotage is much less likely. I could write a gazillion posts about self-sabotage or maybe just one someday but it will be a doosie (stay tuned).

When I have some direction I want to take and I don't commit to a specific action I am never free of it.

The part of me that wants it - the part that doesn't want to "stay where we are" will be nagging me all the time. "Well, are you going to work on it now? How about now? What do you mean you are going to the movies, you can't go to the movies - you need to work on that thing we want!"  

But when I set up some boundaries for the leap - "I am going to work on this thing I want every Wednesday from 8 to noon" for example - then I am free and don't have to think about it the rest of the time.

Structure creates freedom.

Another boundary I have set up in the studio is not to answer my own phone. No, I haven't figured out how to get Olive to answer it (yet) and obviously if I know someone is going to call me at a certain time I answer the phone.

But for the rest of the time I set up a voicemail system and I return calls at the same time every day - yes, once a day (except for a customer emergency - I mean if a Polarity customer has somehow magnetized themselves to a train track and a speeding locomotive is fast approaching - I'm on my way - all my lockets come with a 911, 24 hour free emergency response unit, of course).

Julia Roberts made Pretty Woman at twenty one years old and refused to do a nude scene. It wasn't like she was a big movie star - it was her first starring role after all. She made a movie about being a prostitute and became the biggest movie star on the planet without doing a nude scene (even in 199? that was pretty remarkable). I don't think her success happened in spite of  her setting this personal boundary. I think it happened because she set this boundary and then she practiced it.

Now, I'm not exactly comparing my refusal to answer the phone with Julia's refusal to take off her clothes but I kind of am (and I refuse to take off my clothes, too - in fact my customers, and Olive, demand that I don't ... in writing actually). Maybe it's time we all sat down and really got clear with our own business boundaries - who knows what kind of freedom we can create for ourselves with some structure.

7 comments:

KJ said...

I read the part about getting comfortable and immediately thought of your new house.

I am one of those odd people who actually think that change is good for more than just bus fare.

Catherine Ivins said...

yes, you are a change embracer for sure - and yes, I am thinking about my new house, too xo Kathy

lynn bowes said...

I've gotta practice that 'phone call' thing. I resent the interruptions and that is really a simple solution. Structure = Freedom, how great is that?

Boundaries, yikes. Okay, I hereby quit repairing work that isn't mine. How's that? *whew* I feel better already. srsly better.

Catherine Ivins said...

yes- quit repairing work that isn't yours Lynn or else set a crazy ass hourly rate for it with a 30 minute minimum charge

lynn bowes said...

. . . looking for a 'thumbs up' icon for that . . .

DancingMooney ♥ said...

So true Cat! Lately I've been working on another project and have found that if I do what I need to do, each day, and schedule projects into my week that I want to do, it's so much easier to take weekend time off, and not stress about goals and ideas... Just makes me more excited to wake up on Monday and get back to work! :)

Catherine Ivins said...

janelle- I love how you say "taking the weekend off so you wake up excited on Monday to get back to work" - love that!