Thursday, January 2, 2014

this is the year we do it ... better


 .... not better than someone else does it and not even better than we did it last year, because we were in a difference space last year and we don't fit in that space anymore. Doing what we could have (maybe) done then may not be the best thing for us to do now.

(and looking backward only gets us a sore neck and 
embarrassing photos on Facebook
when we walk into things)

We don't do it better by looking at what didn't work. We look at the stuff that went right. We focus on how we want to feel

Hubs and I went out to dinner a couple weeks ago. I had been spending a lot of time alone in my studio working and not doing a lot of talking and I shocked myself with the extent of the unconscious negative chitchat we immediately had going on -

about the guy who turned without signaling, the temperature, the shortened day, the pending storm, the traffic, the parking lot, health stuff, customer problems, my daughter's problems, my niece's problems, political stuff, Fukushima (hubs is obsessed with Fukushima) - all important topics, but I realized we were framing all our conversations about what was going wrong.

On the drive home I deliberately refocused us. I pointed out the beautiful holiday Christmas lights and Sully's latest adorableness on Facebook, a wonderful customer email I had received that day, the delicious leftovers we were going to have for lunch the next day ...

Every time hubs brought up a problem, I re-framed it. Every time I was about to say something that wasn't something I wanted or connected to how I wanted to feel, I stopped.

When we got to the house I asked George if he noticed what I was doing and he said "yes, but what good does it do to pretend everything is perfect - how does that fix anything?"

This isn't about pretending everything is perfect. It's not about fixing anything or getting so fixated on who we want to be that we lose sight of who we are. But once we know we get what we focus on, scratch that - once we know we are what we focus on - once we really know this, this mindless negative chatter matters.

It matters alot.
 
We currently have a Venus Retrograde that takes us right into a Mercury Retrograde which takes us right into a Mars Retrograde (some people may feel like they aren't really getting started until May!)  - this can create a whole lot of space for us to reinvent ourselves this year.

So how do we want this all to play out? What are we going to do with this space we have been given now to make the stuff that we know isn't working for us better? Hoping everyone is having a wonderful New Year! We are expecting snow to start any minute here!

10 comments:

Jane Told Me said...

Your blogs are always worth the read! Thanks for the reminder to be optimistic.

Catherine Ivins said...

thanks so much Jane xo to you

KJ said...

First, when I visited family for Christmas I had multiple opportunities to say: instead of focusing on what was wrong in the past lets focus on what we are going to do moving forward.

Second, I am really hoping for a snow day tomorrow.

Third, I still haven't won the big lottery. I have plenty of positive visualizations of winning. Of course it would help if I bought tickets a bit more often.

Finally, keep the positive thing going Cat and stay warm and safe if the snow should come.

Catherine Ivins said...

Kathy- I am with you on the snow day - nothing is happening here yet and we will get less than you. Hoping you can kick back with a good book! The problem with the lottery is that many people are visualizing the same thing - maybe all the things you would do with the money have to line up and the one who's "things" line up with the best (best is the wrong word)outcomes win ... of course, they have to have bought a ticket. Probably why so many people blow through the money when they win, life supports money moving, maybe a plan to blow through the money as quickly as possible will help us :) you stay warm and safe, too- just make your own snow day if they don't call one!

Chris said...

Hi Catherine, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris
http://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.ca/

stregata said...

Thanks for the reminder, Cat. Hope your snow day doesn't get too snowy.

Unni Strand said...

I am really wondering what this year will bring for me and my Family.
I hope you will have a happy and healthy year, Cat!
Hugs from Norway.

Catherine Ivins said...

welcome Chris- I look forward to reading your blog, too! thanks Renate and Unni and a happy and healthy New Year to you two, too!

DancingMooney ♥ said...

It's all about how you look at things... but I think you already taught us that. ;)

I catch myself being negative at times too, and it really doesn't do any good.

I miss the snow!!

Catherine Ivins said...

I wish I could send you some snow Janelle, we have plenty! I think my mind naturally looks for problems and hubs, being a mechanically minded person also looks for what is wrong with something ... I am determined to stop looking so far ahead that I talk myself out of everything!