Monday, March 31, 2014

Part III - why our money mindset matters - tapping into business success and releasing money guilt using EFT and the 2nd house


In astrology money is 2nd house stuff; the 2nd house rules our finances, our values, our possessions, even our talent but what really shows up in the 2nd house is our self worth. It rules what money can buy and what it can't buy. This is the space where we pull our own weight in the world. This space is ruled by the planet Venus and the sign of Taurus.

Most people think of Taurus as represented by the stubborn bull and they can be, but Taurus is really the space in the zodiac that expresses our need for stability and grounding - ain't nothing moving that bull if he don't want to be moved.

(yes, I am going to talk about grounding again - this stuff is all connected plus I am obsessed we know this)

They always benefit by being out in nature,

(a Taurus in the city will not be a pleasant person to be around for long unless allowed a cat, dog or at least a fish tank, plenty of plants and frequent trips to the country)

peace and quiet, hands in the dirt, music in their ears and sensual touch

(think cuddles, hot baths, massages - the kind of touch that feels like safety).

Because Taurus is the natural ruler of the 2nd house the things that strengthen Taurus will strengthen our own 2nd houses, too.

(yes, the same 2nd house that holds our money, our values and our self worth - if you know who is hanging out in your 2nd house and where Venus and Taurus are in your natal chart, you can also work with that energy)

It could seem like taking a hot bath is not something that will make us any money, but it may be exactly what we need to feel safe and cared for. This is the rich soil of self nurturing that grows money best.

Anyhoo, on to tapping (not the kind with the awesome shoes - sorry!).

I first read about tapping and the Emotional Freedom Technique through Jack Canfield - the Chicken Soup for the Soul Guy.

It's a form of accupressure and is a simple exercise that you do to yourself.

Tapping works on the theory that negative emotional experiences disturb the energy meridians that run through our bodies. When we use our fingertips to tap on specific points on our face, head and body while focusing on a negative feeling, EFT quickly realigns the energy meridians associated with those particular thoughts and memories and allows healing to occur.

It is an excellent tool and you can do it almost anywhere. Google around and find some information and videos. Cheryl Richardson has one here. She is talking about anxiety but it works exactly the same with our beliefs.

I use the "Even though I have this fear - naming the fear", or "Even though I have this memory - naming the memory - I deeply and completely accept myself." There is something about the pressure on specific energy points while our body is hearing these words that allows our body to reset itself. It's amazingly effective.

With EFT we take responsibility for calming and soothing ourselves and changing our negative mood or belief instead of waiting for some external thing to come along or happen to change it - it allows us to take our power back. I think that is my favorite thing about it, plus it really does work. Try it for a week and see what happens.

So, what kind of negative belief or memory should we be tapping on to change our money mindset?

Make a list of your money memories or negative beliefs about money you want to release.

I will tell you one of mine that relates to my job loss story from Part I and Part II.

Even though I had technically 'quit' my job I filed for unemployment and since my employer did not want to fight me on this, I got it. I had a much loved uncle and one day I was over his house, no doubt whining about my job loss, but also complaining about the dollar amount of the unemployment check I was about to receive.

My uncle, born in 1924, had probably never worked a week where he made more than $400 in his life.

When I complained about the unemployment amount, he said "you should be grateful you have that". I was immediately filled with guilt. The guilt wasn't about any lack of gratitude on my part, but that I had embarrassed my uncle with my words.

And of course, what I internalized was - "who are you to deserve/ask for more than that?"

When I started thinking about the way money flowed in and out of my life and didn't stick to me, this was one of the memories that came up for me. I knew it told me a lot about my family heritage with money, what I grew up believing I was worth and the ways I self-sabotaged my own stability with guilt over having more than the others around me. I did the forgiveness exercise in the previous post and tapped to release the negative beliefs.

(our memories are always a doorway to our beliefs - asking ourselves why do we remember this particular thing among the gazillion things that have happened to us)

Negative money memories (beliefs) need to be released if we do not want to be sabotaging our business when we hit our income comfort zone.

Often I think I have released something because I have released it in my mind, but my body is still holding onto it.

Many years ago I had a rolfing session with an experienced practitioner and while he was working on my shoulder I had a flash memory of a collection of smiley face stickers on a metal background. It took me about a week to remember these stickers were stickers I had stuck to a metal slide in my backyard when I was a child. I had broken my collarbone when I was nine years old on that slide. When the rolfer (rolfer?) worked on my shoulder, that unconscious memory, stored in my right shoulder, was released. Truly this is self-acceptance at a soul level we are working on with this.

Women often feel guilt about debt more strongly than men do. If you think you will feel better about yourself when you are out of debt you probably won't.

(well maybe for 10 minutes until you celebrate your debt-free status at your favorite restaurant with your Mastercard)

If you let the current state of your wallet dictate your self-worth it will be dictating the future state of your wallet, too. Re-framing your thinking about your debt as life's belief in your future earning ability might help.

When I was in banking I worked with people who had declared bankruptcy. Generally men bounced back faster. They were usually able to separate their money from themselves, "it's just business", they would say, even about their own personal finances. They would file for bankruptcy one week and be in the bank asking me how to get their credit fixed the next. Women often seemed to carry more guilt.

If you have declared bankruptcy - tapping and forgiveness work can help.

Banks who lent you money expecting to get it back took a risk. That's how banks work. They are gamblers, and it’s part of their business to lose sometimes. They have long ago moved on and you should, too.

(this isn't a reason to not pay our debts, but some people have debts that have been legally excused for years still casting shadows on their self-worth)

Everyone needs an investment program. Don't think about saving your money for a rainy day because you will inevitably have one with this way of thinking. You are not saving money - money needs to flow. You are investing your money.

(even if your investment looks oddly like your sock drawer right now).

But don't really use your sock drawer. Money likes to be respected - it is part of our 2nd house family of self-worth after all. Some other tips are HERE.

Next up - Part IV -  tying this back into our businesses (for real this time) and why it's easier to build a business when we need the money, but not when we REALLY need the money

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