olive rants .....

Drove up to the ATM. Rolled down my window. Put in my card.

Got $100. Magic. Me likey.

But, I got my card back even though I still had a check to deposit.

Went to put the card in again and it slipped out of my fingers and bounced. Under. My. Car.

By now, of course there was someone behind me. Tapping. His. Steering. Wheel.

I pulled forward and by some miracle he didn't ...

Got my card and stood there, trying to figure out how to make a deposit. Finally the ATM spit out an envelope so hard it flew under the tapper's car.

I'm clearly not smart (or fast) enough for this whole process.

(whimpered for my mommy)

Made eye contact with the tapper.

Indicated with sign language that I was about to slide my arm under the front of his car. He indicated back by throwing his hands in the air something that looked like either

#1. I understand, go ahead or
#2. I understand, go ahead, make my day, I would love an excuse to accidentally on purpose run you over - I decided he had kind eyes and probably wouldn't want to explain an ATM hit and run to the small boy seated next to him.

I tried to reach the envelope. Couldn't reach it. Went back to the machine.

Realized too late it helps if you don't hit "continue" before typing a dollar amount for your deposit. Transaction denied. Got my card back.

Put my card in again. The ATM shot out another envelope, but I was ready this time so I caught it. Between my teeth. Really, they are enormous. Resisted the urge to bite it into tiny pieces and throw them up in the air all over myself like lunatic confetti.

Finally got our tax refund check deposited. Yes, you read that right. Tax. Refund Check. In November. For $47.00 - Just. Don't. Ask.

* one of those days print by tinoiseau