5 Things I Learned in 2013 ... #4

Yes, this is one of those count backward things like Letterman.

I have a friend who is a very judgey ... she is brilliant and a perfectionist and very organized and this judgmental thing she has going on has always driven me crazy.

A couple months ago this friend stopped cursing. She just woke up one day and decided cursing sounds terrible and ... well, she just stopped.

I was talking to her and a curse word slipped from my lips. I saw her blink - a long, hard blink. I slipped another curse word into my next sentence and there it was - that long, hard judgmental blink again.

(maybe some kind of involuntary reaction like the ex-smoker coughing around the cigarette)

I wondered if she was silently praying for me every time a four letter word escaped my lips.

I got annoyed.

I started sliding curse word after curse word into the conversation until I sounded like Carmella Soprano and had her blinking like a turn signal that needed a new bulb.

Soon she was rubbing her forehead and asking for an aspirin.

When I told hubby this story that night he said it was the meanest thing I'd ever done.

( I actually thought it was kind of sweet of him to think I had never done anything meaner than give a non-curser a headache - does he even know who he's married to?)

It did wake me up to the fact that as she was judging me I was judging her right back.

Which isn't really a surprise. I know the more we judge ourselves the more people we attract into our life who seem to criticize us. I know that judgments block energy, set up internal defenses and resistance and tend to hold negative patterns in place.

This lesson - which sounds simple and obvious and sort of stupid maybe - hit me over the head. Although I think of myself as a non-judgmental person, well except for people who litter or don't like animals, I mean we are totally allowed to judge them, of course, but I can be really quite judgy (and yes, I can spell this word with or without the 'e' since spell check assures me I am making this word up either way).

Discerning is ok. Discerning is a good thing. Judgey not so much.

Maybe this isn't really a lesson, but it did show me how I measure the world and mostly myself. I have seen her a couple times since our curse/blink off and she doesn't seem judgey at all to me now ... in fact I can clearly see the love there and feel compassion for her, which I know is mirroring the compassion I am feeling for myself .....

5 lessons I'm taking from 2013 ...

Top 5 lessons I learned in 2013

or the last 5 lessons I learned in 2013

(my short term memory is as holey as swiss cheese these days I blame GMOs which is not as crazy as it sounds read this)

or maybe I should say relearned since life is a spiral and we sometimes run into the same stuff again and again in different spaces and forms.

I know I have run into this one before.

I realize this is all a little heavy for December  reading, and this first lesson is a little dense ... maybe if you are reading this you could play some holiday music in the background to stay festive, so I don't kill your Santa buzz.

Anyhoo, a little vague (sorry) background info - a situation was brought to my attention about something someone was doing.

I had to decide whether to ignore the situation or push against it (ie take some kind of real world action).

I decided (after much back and forth with myself - my usual crazy person routine) that ignoring the situation was the higher action. Inaction was stating to myself that this was a situation I did not have to worry about - I trusted life to take care of me and what this person was doing could not threaten me. I was safe. I decided the decision to not take action would bring me more peace.

I ignored the situation. I did a little spell to release it. I withdrew my attention (mostly).

A few months later the situation winded its way back at me in a bigger way.

(This sometimes happens with things we ignore - this is not because ignoring - ie withdrawing our attention from something is intrinsically a bad thing - it is always best to focus on what we do want and not what we don't want. I think maybe it happens when there is something else the situation is showing us like maybe the inaction we thought was from higher ground was actually based in fear)

This time I thought - "well, I got no peace within myself by ignoring this situation so I will stand up for myself and push back".

So I pushed.

I told myself I didn't care about what results came from the push that I just needed to take action to stand up for myself.

(I had a memory from 7th grade. I was sitting in front of a new group of girls about a month after I moved to a new town, again - we moved every year, and this group was giggling and making fun of me and I turned around and said something back to one of the girls, which made me feel better for about 5 seconds, and they then proceeded to amp up the torture and make my life totally miserable for the rest of the year. This memory made me think that this time I needed to stand up for myself and see that my world wouldn't fall apart)

But, as soon as I pushed (and this was the kind of push without a delete key) I knew I had made a mistake.

I was pushing from a place of weakness - my push was stating to myself that I had something to fear from what this person I was pushing against was doing. I wasn't trusting life to take care of me even though I know that what is real can not be threatened and anything that can be threatened isn't real.

(the central and first Course of Miracles lesson)

I know that any belief I have will create the outcome of any action I take and I was acting against myself even though the push made logical sense.

(and I realize I am not telling you exactly what I am talking about here, but  you will have to trust me that most people, especially creative makers probably would have pushed).

I knew immediately that whatever the result of the push was (this part was outside my control anyway) - I wouldn't get peace from pushing.

The lessons (yes, there are lessons inside of lessons with this stuff - life is messy and I am not a paper towel kind of girl) I take from this experience of being faced with deciding between two actions and having neither action be the right action is:

#5. The action taken from a decision isn't what the decision is really about. 

Life doesn't present us with a good choice and a bad choice - that would make this entire game called life on planet Earth pretty boring since we would have the whole thing figured out by age 7. Life presents us with choices that prepare the field and allow us to move into different spaces. Neither space is perfect because then the game would be over.

So either choice could have brought me what I wanted, which for me these days is mostly peace, or neither choice could have brought me peace because it is me and not the choice that is bringing the peace.

Einstein said, "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." 

I was trying to solve a problem by looking at the problem. It's like the problem and the solution are two sides of the same coin. We can't have a problem unless a solution exists otherwise there would be no pattern the problem could be formulated from (no matter how many trains run over a coin it still has two sides) but we can't see the (solution) head of a coin by looking at the tail (the problem). 

(unless we are doing one of those squinty eye things looking at the side of the coin, but who wants to go through life with her faced all squished up like that)

The problem was never what this other person was doing, the problem was always how I was feeling. Maybe the problem hadn't resurfaced because I had chosen incorrectly the first time (when I had chosen to let it go) but simply to allow me to choose again and work out, within me, what making the opposite choice would feel like.

Anyhoo - I will try for some lighter lessons in the days ahead, this is December after all. But I did call 2013 my Year of Deciding (or was that 2012?) so this one is a biggie for me again. 

chphotographics

next lesson next week - have an amazing weekend everyone! xo

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POLARITY

New Moon in Sagittarius - expanding horizons (also if you read my blog and are a Sagittarius, you must post a comment because I am convinced I don't know any)

sagittarius polarity locket - aiming for the stars

We have a new moon tonight in Sagittarius!

Sagittarius is a fun-loving sign that rules travel, freedom, adventure, legal stuff, higher education, good luck, faith, religion, prayer, optimism, problem solving, truth seekers - it also rules things like carelessness, taking shortcuts, making assumptions, throwing pink paint on problems and hoping they will go away and physically our hips, liver, sciatica and upper legs/thighs.

It's a perfect time to be working with the energy of the positive stuff that Sagittarius rules and working to release the negative stuff.

So, for example, this is a great time to plan our vacation or set affirmations to travel on a regular basis next year.

Affirmations set now (especially stuff that will conclude by the Sagittarius full moon in June) for any of Sagittarius's "stuff" will have universal support. We are literally creating the affirmation within the energy that is needed to manifest it.

Coincidentally, I would like to say I planned it, but it just worked out this way - we'll just call it divine planning, my patent application for my new aromatherapy line was filed today (legal stuff is within Sagittarius's realm).

Some affirmations I am writing tonight are:

1. I easily take action on what my intuitive knowing tells me is the right path for me
2. I have more positive adventures in my life. I easily view life as a positive adventure (oops my pencil tip just broke on that one)
3. My patent application filed today is approved
4. I find the solution to ____ in a clear and straightforward way. I take right action on this.
5. I take action that leads to successfully detoxing my liver and maintaining excellent liver health

As always, write yours down - I used to use strips on paper and bowls of rice, so I could jiggle them around now and then - but this month I am feeling the urge to burn them and just know they are done. You don't have to make stuff happen with this, you just have to see what comes up and then take the action that feels right on that.

Trust the process. We have cast our spell.

People always say that affirmations "only work if you take action". And this is true, but not in the way most people think.

The affirmation is action.

It sets the energy in motion. Words are not just words. If done properly, in the right frame of mind, it lines us up energetically with the thing we are seeking. The new moon is a time of darkness but there is lots of hidden action in the dark.

(yes, even that kind, all creation starts in the dark after all)

Look at what kind of experiences have been coming your way lately. How have you called them into your life?

There is often a wave of resistance that arrives when we begin stepping into our power. This resistance can manifest as physical health problems, relationships that mirror our shadows, self-sabotaging "mistakes" or when it seems like “fate” intervenes and creates road blocks or sends us  back to “feeling and playing small” - back to square one.

This "upper limit" thing, set by familial programming and energy patterns (although I believe we came on to this planet vibrating at exactly the frequency that drew us to our family) that is so common when we are in the process of shifting our self-definitions and expanding our influence and responsibility. Something gets in the way, often something that appears to be outside our control - this is all illusion of course, but how do we work through this? How do we move outside our energy patterns?

A thing we can do right now and it sounds like a small thing but there are no small things - is to set a few affirmations within the energy of this new moon - it will just take you a few minutes. Do it tonight or tomorrow ... the more specific you can get the more specific results will show up. xo all

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ends Monday at midnight!

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 ~Have a Happy Hanukkah and Happy Thanksgiving Weekend everyone - SHOP HANDMADE!~