Several years ago when my mother was living with us and at the end of her life with emphysema (please, please don't smoke) things felt way out of control.
I had just lost a job and career I thought I would have forever -
and it was a good one, too - one that didn't require me to wear a name tag, use the words "would you like fries with that" or refer to my co-workers as my "Apple-buddies".
(this loss, OK firing, this firing turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me, but at the time I was lost in the injustice of it all and working my way through it)
My daughter was in one of those phases where a mother could do nothing
I had meditated back in high school
(note- in a funny little freudian slip while typing this post I wrote- I was medicated back in high school :) which I wasn't but maybe should have been)
and thought I would give it another try along with daily affirmations and some lightweight law of attraction healing stuff with the books of Louise Hay.
I signed up for a local yoga class which I promptly quit, but the meditation portion was something that I really began to look forward to. I started meditating about 3 times a day.
One day while meditating I felt like I had jumped into the top of my head and could just jump right out of my body - I started crying and couldn't stop - now I would see this breakdown as a kind of breakthrough, but at the time I decided I just needed a break and stopped meditating.
Somehow I never got back to it.
Lately I have been feeling the need for some centering and a greater ability to control my thinking and emotions; all things meditation works miracles for, so I am back into it this week ... slowly ... the way I did it the first time.
I am going to publish my weekly practice in case anyone has an interest in any of this or has tried meditation and found it difficult to still your mind and difficult to stick with - maybe this way will work for you, too.
Week 1 practice : select a room where you can be alone and a time when you will not be disturbed, sit erect, be comfortable but not too comfortable, let your thoughts roam but sit perfectly still - start with 15 minutes and work up to a half hour (do this everyday at the same time) -the object of the first week is to get control of your physical body (we are not working on stilling our minds at this point) - it may take more than a week before you can sit without scratching or twitching or you may be able to do it the first time, but keep with it for 7 days anyway - the teacher I worked with felt it was essential to secure complete control of your body before you proceed with your thoughts. For this week, you can let your thoughts roam - next week we will work on the next step.
The Mother's Day Giveaway winner is (chosen by random.org) :
True Random Number Generator
*let go of your tears print by the amazing jess swift