Mistakes happen ... or prying the cookie corpses off your cookie gift trays

So, when a 24" snowpocalypse had me homebound the weekend before Christmas and it was too late to shop on Etsy anymore without some serious postal fees, I thought it would be a good idea

(ie cheap and easy)

to make a few cookie trays to give as last minute gifts.

I had been to Williams Sonoma a few weeks back and picked up some icing tubes and holiday sprinkles that I thought could make my cookies look amazing plus I really wanted someone to see them. My daughter and hubby are both salty snack people and I really wanted some oohs and aahs .. plus I was short about 4 gifts this year.

My cookies always smell amazing and usually taste pretty good , but are not always servable to people who can actually see them - something always seems to go wrong with the presentation plus I have some serious cookie makers in my family who make cookies that smell, taste and look good, so I always face some serious cookie challenges.

I chose a recipe from the Martha Stewart website listed as easy that did not require a mixer or a cuisinart or any of the other appliances I do not own since I never bothered to piece together a wedding registry

(how many years can you be married and are still allowed to do this anyway?)

So anyhoo, my cookies smelled good, they looked good and they tasted .... well, let's just say I had shoveled in enough cookies to require an afterschool purging and family intervention if this had been a Lifetime movie, before I realized that they actually ... didn't taste all that good...

But, the important thing was that they looked good

(this is America and 2009 and looks are all that matter anyway plus no one actually eats the cookies people give them, right?)

and I gave them out proudly on my little repurposed trays on Christmas and heard the oohs and aahs I had waited all these years to hear

... until ....

3 days after Christmas, the cookie emails began to come in

(tales of cookies permanently adhered to my repurposed trays, tales of chisels being needed for removal, tales of chipped teeth, tales of pretty little cookie corpses)

from friends and I use that term loosely feeling the need to remind me of that one time that their kids caught salmonella or had their stomachs pumped or something silly like that after a summer barbecue

(some people need to pick up a Bible and learn about forgiveness for pete's sake)

So, anyhoo - I am determined not to let this get me down because it is the thought that counts and some people should just be happy they got gifts that were not made of cork or car parts (finally) this year, if you know what I mean.

Wishing everyone a tummy full of amazingly scented, colorful and tasty cookies in the New Year (next year mine are shipping out with chisels and mouthguards and they will still look damn good).


Jenn Milt Art said...

I guess it's the thought that counts! ;)

Artsnark said...

Next year make them with a hole & ribbon call them fragrant ornaments

M.M.E. said...

Hahaha. That's terrible! I'm so sorry your Christmas cookies didn't turn out as well as hoped for. My mother always gives the bad looking ones to me and my brother and saves the nicer ones for strangers so that they think she is a whiz at baking. It doesn't matter that the stranger only gets 3, it's that they get 3 perfect cookies.

holly aka golly said...

Cat, your stories remind me of David Sedaris! Too funny! Happy New Year!

Carapace said...

Oh dear. What recipe are you using?

Or maaayyybe-- what cookie plates are you using? Did you buy the Evil cookie plates? 'Cause those never help, you know.;)

Anonymous said...

Ha ha! Thank you, this story just cheered me up no end :@) !!! happy New Year ( ps. my cookies usually look great before they go in the oven..then when you open the door they've spread out and become one solid giant cookie!)