When I was growing up my mom didn't work.
Now, I say it this way because I know you will know what I mean, and of course, she did work. She did the hardest work of all.
She was not a good example of a "happy to be at home raising her family" kind of mom. She was bored.
This boredom led to depression and some other negative stuff, but it also led to alot of fun, crazy good stuff which came from her innate creativity and forced isolation.
But, I grew up thinking that working (and being out of the house) was probably a
good thing.
When my daughter was very little I was working for a bank. Her good friend's mom took a job as a crossing guard, but because it was a pain in the neck going back and forth to her crossing guard stop all day long, she quit after a few days.
Now, this was all at a time when I was working alot and probably lacking a certain balance and my daughter would ask me
sometimes often to quit my job.
So, anyhoo, she was with me at the bank one day (maybe a take your daughter to work day, I don't remember) and a bigshot vp was visiting my branch and she was asking all the daughters what they wanted to be when they grew up. And Sue's daughter said, "a doctor" and Theresa's daughter said "a lawyer" and the vp was nodding and smiling and then she asked my daughter and my daughter said "a crossing guard"
and when the startled vp asked her why, she replied, "
because it's easy to quit."
(
gulp)
Now, years after I ditched all that (or it ditched me, truthfully), I am working long hours again and feeling that lack of balance, "not easy to quit" thing creeping back into my life.
Yesterday, I had a rather lively debate about this exact subject- yes, with another
person -
(Olive was sleeping)
who believes that because we are doing what we love (and hoping that the money will follow) there is
almost no such thing as working too much.
(of course, this guy was also eating a box of
raisins at the bagel shop and I haven't seen an actual person over 24" tall eat raisins out of the box like that in a very long time, also I should mention that the box was
gigantic)
but, I don't get out much- maybe raisin popping is the new thing.
I have a feeling (and a knowing actually) that work that you love because your soul needs to do this thing and work that you love because you can make the payments on your cute little Prius can both become ... too much
and this "too much" thing can happen very quickly and soon you are not doing the things you used to do (and you loved those things,
too) - no trips to the library, no long bike rides, no painting your peeling wicker porch chairs, no trying out those new recipes, too many no's for a life where you are committed to saying yes.
So, I am re-balancing
again and thinking this is just another process without an endzone and knowing that being so far left right now means I may need a very big push right to swing back to center.
(
does anyone have an extra ticket to Hawaii they won't be using?)
So, after our lively debate, which consisted in quite a bit of raisin flinging on his part, I was finally able to extricate myself from the conversation by maneuvering toward the condiment counter to get a lemon slice for my tea.
Suddenly, someone next to me was announcing, “Well my daughter had her baby.”
(surely she wasn't talking to me because I didn’t even know she had a daughter, but, yes, I turned around and there it was-
eye contact)
My response was something like, “Hey, do you know where they keep the straws?”
and she continued, "She wasn’t plannin’ on having a baby but she was takin’ medicine for her urinary tract infections and that messed with her birth control and she got pregnant.
Me - smile, nod, *crickets*
(I sometimes go pre-verbal when forced into an actual face to face conversation involving the word urinary and infection and yes, this happens to me quite often, I live in New Jersey, remember)
"The labor was quick though. She was already real dilated by the time she got to the hospital. That baby pretty much just dropped on out."
and then she grabbed her crossing guard stop sign and headed out the door.
I guess some people just don't know when to quit.
1. Vintage children in crosswalk pic from
TheVintageMode2. Quitter card by
RedLetterInk3. Cinnamon Bagel Earrings by
3Squares4. I am an artist, not a waitress ring set by
KathrynRiechert5. Get a job dress by
PaulaLaFargue
.png)
.png)
.png)
1. Cutting Edge T-shirt by 
