Wordless Wednesday but with actual words

... so anyhoo, I had nothing to report today and was thinking I would go wordless again when I picked up my local newspaper and was so excited to see my favorite seasonal section Community Education Programs - these are little evening workshops where you can learn some amazing life skills and I try to take one every once in a while:
Searching the Internet for Seniors (Ages 50+) - now I don't know why you would want to search the internet for seniors, but live and let live, I always say (and uh, if 50 is a senior that would make people seniors for about 1/3 of their lives)

Getting Paid for Caring for Your Loved Ones - CHECK - SIGN ME UP FOR THIS ONE

Seeing Your Past Lives - although I am pretty sure I was Cleopatra, Marie Curie and Amelia Earhardt (wait, I think they were alive at the same time), there is a very slight chance I was actually a bag lady or bucket lady or some other type of homeless drifter carrying precious piles of junk from town to town - or maybe this is my future I am seeing

The Lipstick, The Handshake and The Wardrobe - this one scares me

Ukulele Workshop - .... hmmm ....

Harmonica Workshop - .... hmmm ....

Dog Massage and Energy Workshop - CHECK - wait, I didn't check this one, it looks like Olive has been reading the paper before me again - I already have her signed up for a little beagle bed bug sniffing training, so she can start paying for these expensive little Caesar dinners she has become obsessed with

Embraced by Angels ("The Crossing Over Workshop") - uh, not quite ready to cross over just yet thank you very much

How to Explore a Cemetery - this is only something you would see in New Jersey where bodies are buried everywhere and yes, I will definitely be signing up for this one DOUBLE CHECK

Mother/Daughter French Hair Braiding - would have to drag my daughter kicking and screaming to this one- but maybe I can find a little replacement daughter for the afternoon- I did always want to learn how to create those gigantic polygamy sister braids, I think this might be next Tuesday's trend ...

I should mention the ukulele, dog training and french hair braiding are being taught by the same person and I totally need this kind of talent in my life and am hoping to be her new bff.