Whining Wednesday - send the kids to their rooms folks, this is going to get gross

So ... I haven't actually had the head cold I was pretending to have - I actually had

(drumroll please)

an exploded ovarian cyst.

KAPOW Batman!

Yes, it sounds gross and it is gross and in fact when I hear the word cyst I can't help but think about fluid filled things hanging off people's necks and arms and other places too unmentionable to mention.

Apparently your body can grow all kinds of things that you are not aware of

(well, maybe you are a tiny bit aware of - in the form of symptoms that you ignore, but it is hard to tell if you are bloated from an about-to-explode ovarian cyst or just too much guacamole at Chipotle's, especially when your stomach's normal state is a wee bit, uhm, slack, sorry stomach muscles I promise to give you some attention ... soon)

until you are suddenly curled into a ball, wincing in pain and asking Jesus, Buddha and Allah to carry you home.

(not that I did this)

I am actually pretty good with pain ...

(I was planning to have my daughter without any meds and when I finally gave in and asked for something - the doctor told me it was too soon; that I wasn't far enough along - ack - I realized every child-bearing woman on the planet had gotten farther than I did -

of course I was only 6 months pregnant at the time ...

I have also been known to pass out after stubbing my toe - but only once ... maybe twice)

The doctor asked me if I had been carrying anything heavy and I had carried alot of heavy whatnots at the Brimfield Flea Market a few days earlier and I had carried alot of heavy stuff to and from the Art Star craft show hours before.

(although their wonderful staff did help me carry things in and Noelle from Xenotees did help me carry stuff out, but I will still find a way to somehow blame hubby for not going with me to help haul things and a little hubby guilt can go a long way when someone has something exploded inside them and needs to be waited on hand and foot for a couple days month or two)

I have been still getting my orders made and mailed - yes, I know I am amazing - but during high pain periods

(these exploding cysts hurt for a few days while your body absorbs the blood - this is straight from the doctor folks although he used the word ruptured - I prefer "exploded", you can't make this kind of stuff up and yes, I know it is gross, I warned you - please don't hate me)

I have been watching Court TV - the Casey Anthony trial's jury selection which is very interesting. I would love to be on a jury in a high profile case -

but only if I get to stand up and shout "You Can't Handle The Truth!" or something Elle Woods said in Legally Blonde and only if the lawyer looks like Matthew McConaughey.

I actually was on a jury once - I was actually the jury foreman forewoman

(because I was seated in seat number 1; the judge asked me a couple questions to make sure I could put a proper sentence together and wasn't a complete nitwit and pronounced me the foreman)

and I will confess that during jury deliberations -

the case was about a guy who had run from the police by driving his car on the sidewalk and we had to decide if he had endangered other people by doing this -

I brought up the fact that I had been at that very intersection many times and it was always very busy with pedestrians -

something that I can see from watching the Casey Anthony trial jury selection I should never have said - being evidence not introduced during the trial and all -

I hope that poor guy isn't still in jail.

Well, I am back to bed now with my Nook, hubby is being wonderful and is downstairs cooking us all eggs, so even though I am only feeling a bit bloated and sore at the moment ... I am going to see how long I can run with this breakfast/dinner in bed thing ...

xo all
(hoping there are no little time bombs in any of you, but maybe get any symptoms checked out with your doctor - yes, you I'm talking to you)