when it's better to receive ... more business lessons from the home front

It is better to give than to receive -

just another "truth" that isn't well ... always quite so truthy.

Recently someone asked David, who had defined his occupation as panhandler only 70 days ago, after paying David $25 for a car wash -

"doesn't it feel better to earn $25 than to be given $25 for doing nothing?"

and of course it does feel better to the person doing the earning, because our society places a value on earning and working and we have all internalized this

(warning short rant ahead - maybe this will change when we all internalize, through the crumbling of institutions and lack of employment that paying to live on this planet and working hard at an unpalatable job just to keep a roof over our heads is part of the old paradigm - life is calling on us to find work that makes us feel alive and joyful and instead of running around in circles looking for jobs similar to the jobs that have left us, we need to do the internal work that will draw our right livelihood to us)

but it is just as giving to receive the gift as it is to give it.

It feels good to give.

If someone offered me $5.00 though I wouldn't take it. I would say "no, I don't need this, you keep it".

If someone offered David $5.00 he would take it. The giver would feel good and it would be David giving that person the gift of feeling good.

This better to receive lesson translates to our business in many ways. Only so much can go out before something has to come back in.

Undervaluing ourselves and our work serves no one.

(save that for our copycats in their race to the bottom with their Chinese metals that are not metal and "making" ie applying toxic glue)

Time and energy given out without time and energy taken in serves no one ... not for long anyway.

Next time we are offered up something from life, let's really, really take it in.

(with grace and gratitude and a really large heaping of ... YES, GIMME MORE OF THAT!)

1. Absorb the wonderful feedback you just received - because you are totally awesome and have been working your ass off and earned it

2. When offered the last cookie ... take it

3. When offered help that you would normally refuse ... accept it and be grateful

(gratitude is like a beacon to the universe to send you more)

And maybe if you have been giving for a long time without receiving, you need to become a greedy little bastard for awhile to balance things out and that is ok, too.

(of course, if you are normally inclined to be a greedy little bastard pretty much the opposite may be true for you, but most creative people I know are too quick to give away their power)

Maybe we can change "it's better to give than to receive" into "it's amazing to give and it's amazing to receive, too".

xo all

thankful thursday - business lessons from the home front

I have had so many aha moments lately

(where the hell is Oprah when we need her?)

and maybe the biggest aha AHA has been that when we know something we cannot unknow it.

Life just doesn't support our playing dumb.

(when we were kids and we got in trouble, my sister would cover her eyes thinking that if she could not see our parents they could not see her - even then it didn't work - well, it probably did work because she was kinda cute, but it shouldn't have worked, dammit)

When we learn something and we resonate with it and we know that it is true for us and we do not live it, well, things have a way of just not working out and at the very least things have a way of being alot harder.

It's like we get off easy with a little dumb luck early on, but then life says - ok this one knows more and then ... more is expected.

Anyhoo, although I know from my business that it is best to set my intention and work/enjoy the process without trying to control exactly how everything is going to happen, somehow I have not been translating this knowing to life with David.

We set our intention, take action in that direction, then trust that life will take care of the details.

I realized that this was exactly what I was not doing with David.

I was totally focused on the 'hows' - how to get him to agree to see a psychiatrist, get him housing, health insurance, etc, etc - how was I ever going to make these things happen - I was failing.

Then it hit me that maybe the 'hows' are not my job. And it hit me that I already know this, but I just haven't been doing it.

So, I set a clear intention for myself, because I can't control any of this (and I definitely can't control David) and have been doing what I can with what I have from the place I am right now.

I started seeing David visiting a psychiatrist, moving into a wonderful place with other dual diagnosis men, getting to the doctor, having a happy life and I started spending an hour a day (total) doing something in these areas.

Life rewards action after all, but I also have alot of other things to take action on and since the hows are not my job I trust that there are stronger, better hands at work here.

(since changing my thinking or I should say since taking actions that support the truths I already embrace with my thinking - David has agreed to see a psychiatrist, is going to social services tomorrow for the first time with his new intensive case manager - yay, it took 2 months, but we got one - and he got his fishing license)

xo all

* shoe print by cookstah

staying "in tension" until our intentions are clear so our arrow flies straight and doesn't do one of those wobbly, bobbly freefalls

If we were archers -

we would gather our energy.

We would pull back our bow.

We would take aim.

We would hold our bow "in tension".

This holding position is important to landing our arrow where we intend it to go; to hit our mark.

(of course, if we are in some kind of life and death battle with that arrow then I guess we just let it fly and hope for the best, but most situations we makers are facing today are not quite so dire)

The same way an archer's "in tension" allows her arrow to hit her target, our own intentions release our energy where we need it to go.

Intentions are not wishes; they are not hopes - wanting to do something is 180 degrees from intending to do it.

Intention releases the potential that makes things happen.

That's why we need to get crystal with what it is we are intending with our maker businesses. Asking ourself, "what is my intention with this?" helps us get clear.

Sometimes our intention is clear but we are held up for some reason.

It is like we have our bow drawn and we are focused on the target, but suddenly the dog barks, the phone rings, the guy next door starts blasting Adele and you know we have to stop and listen to that.

The archer stays focused and holds herself "in tension" through all the noise.

(and sometimes this noise can last a while and sometimes life sends us noise to test our intentions and see how badly we want something or sometimes the noise could be there to delay us because there is something better for us later)

Of course, we always get to choose because it is our life after all - and there is no one thing we just have to do, in reality life has back up plans for our back up plans lined up for us.

Because once that arrow is released, it is released, there is no grabbing it midair

(unless you have some super power that I would be totally jealous to find out about)

and straightening that baby out.

Better to stay "in tension" and get clear (I know our shoulders hurt, but we are strong, WE CAN DO THIS) than send out a wobbler and stab ourselves in the foot.

* the headhunter tee from blackbirdtees

a sneak peek at my new cork necklace line for spring (aka lessons from the slow lane)

I couldn't resist snapping a few quick shots of my new cuties. I will be offering them to customers in a couple weeks and at the trade shows this summer. They are super cute in person - I have a professional photographer taking pics of these and my new locket line next week, so will post more then!