"I'd rather be whole than good." ... C.G. Jung ...
October is bookended by two BIG Full Moons - one in Aries on October 1st and one in Taurus on October 31st. The first, conjunct Chiron (our wounded masculine, ouch), the second conjunct Uranus and Black Moon Lilith (change, chaos, female power/rejection, can you say October surprise?). And in between a HUGE New Moon in Libra.
Have I said before October is going to be a BIG month?! Maybe the biggest month of 2020.
Yes, I think I did!
The Full Moon is always a time of cosmic tension - the Moon opposes the Sun. The Moon is in Aries at 9 degrees (answering to a retrograde Mars in his home sign - initiative, passion, courage, anger, violence, independence). The Sun, opposing from 9 degrees Libra answering to Venus at the end of Leo (and look at her exactly conjunct the descendant of the Full Moon chart drawn for Washington D.C. - other people, open enemies, oh my). This is the culmination of the Aries New Moon that launched the lunar year back in April, so maybe something from that time is finishing up.
Feels like years ago, doesn't it? Time has kind of swallowed us up, so it probably was!
At the time of the Full Moon - situations peak, culminate, come to light, conclude.
Results are delivered.
And this month we have Saturn stationing direct just hours before! Whoosh - the tables turn.
Let's unpack the chart.
The Moon opposes the Sun - Aries/Libra at 9 degrees. Me vs we. How we partner. How we balance and share. Is justice just? An Aries Moon is raw/impulsive/self-centered. The energy can make us antsy and accident-prone.
The Moon is conjunct Chiron - the aspect is waning. The Moon is semi-sextile Uranus (exact) - the Sun inconjunct. Mars, ruler of Aries and so ruler of this lunation is retrograde in Aries, exactly conjunct Eris and squaring Saturn and the Capricorn pile-up, trining Venus and sextiling the North Node. I've been adding in asteroids lately if exact and the Sun is exactly conjunct asteroid Apophis (the Moon exactly opposed), so we'll take a look at that.
The Moon is conjunct wounded healer Chiron - a weakness, a fear, a vulnerability is illuminated now.
An old familial wound, the scab freshly picked and throbbing. We might need to stand up for ourselves/assert our right to be here/to fit in. Hidden vulnerabilities/wounds are made public under the Full Moon's beams (this is waning so the actual exposure has already happened, but it will play out over the course of the Full Moon - the next two weeks and also the next six months). Think about Trump's tax returns coming out and showing he makes less money/is less valuable than he claimed to (he has a natal 2nd house Chiron which rules money/resources/values, so an old familial wounding around his VALUE/his resources - fear of poverty, familial new money devalued by New York's old money society).
So, our private/personal (Mars) vulnerabilities/wounds (Chiron) are made public/come into the light (the Full Moon). This can also be about our actions/re-actions and their backlash or our own regrets. For some, this could play out as an injury/illness since Mars/Aries rules our collective first house of our physical body. With Mars retrograde this would probably be an old injury that acts back up or gets re-injured and this could have already happened and is now playing out.
Whatever this is for us, the Full Moon allows us to see this clearly and in real-time. Our insecurities, our lack of motivation/passion/courage, our physical shortcomings - the light goes HERE.
Saturn stations direct just hours before the Full Moon. Daddy's home.
A retrograde Mars (ruler of Aries and this Full Moon) is squaring Saturn - this is also waning, but only barely - this is old responsibilities, commitments. A tennis match so many of us are watching/playing between anger and depression. On the one hand Saturn is savings our asses (and reputation) from a misguided Mars impulsivity and on the other hand this is also the authoritarian strategy of divide and conquer that WANTS Mars (as us) to be out there fighting/chasing his tail. Nothing is ever just one thing. There are limits here. Controlled burning - maybe. But also fires getting stoked. This is within the collective, but also within our own home and our own HEAD.
What does all this mean?
This Moon is actually kind of simple - we have the Chiron wounding - which we can see in ourselves/in other people. We need to take ownership of our own crap/fear here, but not take on anyone else's crap. The Moon is really as simple and as complicated as that. It takes COURAGE (Aries) to take responsibility for our own issues. It also takes courage to not take on other people's issues. We want to be self-centered now, and self-centered meaning exactly that - centered in ourselves.
With Saturn/Pluto squaring it will be our old paternal/maternal power struggles that we are re-enacting with partners/with life. Maybe we notice this, maybe we don't. Either way we can choose to not engage with the energies at the level of 'blame' (and this includes blaming ourselves because these are very deeply buried patterns - that once kept us alive - that we are recreating) or we can go 'all in' with this stuff and dig ourselves an even bigger hole. Blame other people, blame our parents, the government, yada-yada. Or we can go 'all in' and take on the ownership of this wound as if we are the wound! So, let's not do that either. Let's not double-down on this stuff.
If we are going to be truly ourselves - better whole than good (as Jung would say), other people may not be so happy about it. This isn't about being a selfish asshole, but we are going to have to get angry sometimes. Maybe even very angry. And we are going to have to find ways to work with these feelings that aren't destructive. And, that don't allow this personal and collective tension and stress to dump directly into our nervous system and impact our health or force impulsive choices.
Jupiter has been holed up all year in Cappy, Saturn's house. It's like having Santa Claus living with Scrooge and instead of making toys at the North Pole he's busy doing his taxes ... for a year. But right now - and this becomes exact next week - he has a beneficial sextile to ancient ruler Neptune and since this aspect is applying, it is stronger than the waning aspects we have already talked about.
Neptune brings compassion/a higher purpose/connection to our past/our ancestors/our unconscious memories that we carry in our DNA of all the good things we have ever done or wanted to do. Jupiter brings the luck that comes from confidence. Now sextiles require some action - and this will be our Cappy house and our Pisces house - we talked about this/and felt this yesterday through our Pisces Moon aspecting Saturn and Pluto. Making the dream real. Stabilizing the confusion. Responsibilities forcing us out of our lethargy. Magic. Lining up with divinity. The reality police WAKE US UP. This brings opportunities, so don't hit the snooze button. We are either replaying old karma or moving into our destiny.
The New World requires we be living an authentic life. It's the only requirement really. If we think someone else has to change or they have to do something for us to be happy - we have set our ladder against the wrong wall. We have to move that damn ladder! This month will go much easier if we are trusting God/life/the Universe. We have to trust the process. Keep in mind Chiron's healing comes through acceptance of the wound. Meeting life where it is. Here's my damn ladder. Let's stay centered in our breath.
(and just as I write this I remember this morning's dream where I was in college and trying to navigate steep stairs, which were more like the bars on a kid's jungle gym and wearing de-stabilizing spikey heels - me in high heels!? - and it was getting late and I had to be somewhere else/maybe home (?), but at the same time had very important information to deliver and kept running into the people who needed it - woke up later than I have in years and feeling refreshed, but lost in the pressure of the dream)
This is a wonderful and bittersweet Full Moon to get out and walk in, so let's do that! We can see Mars easily, too, now, retrograde he is at his closest position to the Earth.
xo all - (back with an October post and we'll look at the mid-month and covid)
I just realized I never got to asteroid Apophis and now that I've looked into him, I can see why! He is exactly conjunct the Sun and opposing the Full Moon, so let's look at his mythology and see if he can add anything to our celestial weather forecasting.
Apophis - and we are reaching back to ancient Eqyptian mythology here - also known as Apep was a Great Serpent and enemy of the Sun God Ra. He attacked Ra's great ship every night in an attempt to kill Ra and prevent the sunrise. He is associated with chaos, storms, darkness, death. And in modern days, he is also associated with terrorism.
Because Apophis was thought to have always existed - he swam in the dark waters of undifferentiated chaos (to quote ancient.eu here) before creation started. Creation - duality/order - angered Apophis, I guess being used to a disorderly, but unified whole. After creation there were opposites - day and night, light and dark, good and bad, female and male. He thought if he could swallow the Sun (light being the first sign of divine "order") he could return the world to the 'unity' of darkness/chaos.
Interesting (North Node in Gemini stay curious!) that he would be exactly conjunct the Sun and oppose the Moon at the Aries Full Moon as we proceed through this last chapter of 2020, which ends with Jupiter meeting Saturn on the winter solstice at 0 degrees Aquarius (the New World, in the sign of equality and also chaos). We'll talk more about this in the October posts!
