Tuesday, January 3, 2012

the gift of no-gifts or my eyes have been opened to the need for a little romantic something with a bow on it this time of year

(whisper typing while hubby sleeps)

If I want a romantic gift from hubs I have to

1. find it
2. buy it
3. give him the receipt
4. be reimbursed by him from our joint checking account

(this reimbursement often takes the form of a check signed by me and written to our credit card company)

this usually doesn't bother me, but lately I am wondering if I should be requiring a little more from him ...

I am not talking diamond earrings here, but something maybe a little bit efforty.

To be fair, he did make us pancakes on Christmas morning

of course his family called within exactly the 3.7 minutes it took for him to do this and I heard him saying that he was "making breakfast" .. which of course he was .. but he said it very matter-of-factly as if to imply that he does this making breakfast thing frequently ... which he does if you consider frequently something done along the same time frame as replacing your muffler - has anyone ever replaced one of those things anyway - other than a run over your neighbor's mailbox type of situation - not that this has ever happened to me, well at least not more than once ...

and this year we had agreed to the no-gift Christmas due to our bathroom/kitchen renovation costs but I still kind of expected a little something and thought this no-gift agreement was going to be a wee bit flexible and there would still be something with my name on it under the tree.

(there wasn't, well except for all the packages to hubs where my name followed the word FROM)

I know I do not have the right to be pissed about this since I signed the no-gift agreement, although by signed I mean nodded when hubs suggested this while I was semi-conscious after a day spent inhaling flux and E6000.

It kind of seemed like a good idea at the time.

I thought because I am not a romantic, mushy kind of girl that this would be ok with me. It wasn't. When I brought up to hubby that I was bothered he said to just go out and buy myself something like I usually do, but now this entire find it, buy it, reimburse it thing is just not going to cut it anymore.

So, I have discovered the real gift of the no-gift agreement is to find out that I really do need gifts and I will be cancelling the no-gift agreement before my birthday which is in 4 weeks and 4 days (not that I am counting or anything) or paramedics may need to be called to identify hub's body.

(he is now awake - despite my whisper typing - reading this over my shoulder and says "just don't let them do anything weird with my body" which of course, I won't ... unless it's funny)

UPDATE - since I wrote this post on Sunday night, hubs has fixed my bicycle tire, bought me a box of mallomars, my favorite blueberry poptarts (very hard to find the unfrosted kind I like) and a Sephora gift card so it looks like the paramedics will not be needed - but check back in 4 weeks and 2 days just to be sure ...

* rock me adadeus print by lisa barbero

7 comments:

Unni Strand said...

I would prefer pancakes before diamonds any day.
Men don't seem to get that a gift can be a nicely wrapped chocolate with a cute card. It's the concept... I think a no-gift agreement means not expensive gifts, but still gifts.

DancingMooney ♥ said...

The no gift agreement is always hard because we still want to feel like we have been thought of during those gifting times... I hear ya. :)

But I also hear budgeting for kitchen and bath renovations and ya know, I would really love a dishwasher... haha...

Cheers to the new year miss! ♥

KJ said...

I love no gift agreements- it frees me to spend money on me. I also understand the need for romance and more than just at the traditional gift giving times.

When I gave gifts I found gift lists very helpful for both the giver and receiver. So, start an envelope, store it in the new kitchen, tell everyone that it is there and as you go through the year fill it with things you love as well as price and where to buy it. Not quite as romantic as a surprise, but not as big a burden on you and still a surprise. You might even find a way to upcycle something so everyone can add their wishes throughout the year.

Gale said...

We did the no gift thing this year too. I was the one who suggested it, half way through our trip to California (which was a vacaction...but also a necessary trip out to see my dad who has Parkinsons).

I knew it would be tight when we got back...but you know, I actually had more problems not buying him a gift than not having a gift myself. I kept finding stuff he'd like...and broke down and bought a couple things (but I had a coupon!). ;)

Catherine Ivins said...

Unni- yes I prefer pancakes, too- as long as they contain blueberries... Janelle- not to make you too jealous but I am getting a new dishwasher - I should say I have bought a new dishwasher- uninstalled at this point because we are still on the bathroom but it went on sale so we bought it- it allows you to do a small top load - we have never been big on gifts and I usually pick out my own anyway- not sure why this has even bothered me- KJ I love the envelope idea- pure genius I am doing it! Gale- I hope your dad is doing ok! yes, I broke down and bought George some things, too which is why I thought he had done the same ... but I'm sure I will stop whining if this bathroom gets done this month and kitchen by spring ...

alamodestuff said...

I/we are right there w/ you. We've had the no gift agreement before which left me utterly peeved. For me it boils down to effort. He simply doesnt think about it until the very last minute. It has ade me less excited about my gifts to him sadly. I completely relate!

btaylor said...

On Christmas morning, after opening all his very thoughtful gifts from me, my ex-husband said "oh yah!" and ran outside. He came back in with a Barnes & Noble bag with a soft cover copy of one of Anne Rice's novels with the receipt shoved in it.

Did you notice the part about "EX-husband"?

We didn't split up because of this, but because of many bouts of thoughtlessness.

It's just nice to know you are thought of with care and love....it's that simple.