if at first we don't succeed .... (maybe we are measuring the wrong thing)

In 3rd grade I had to write my motto in the class yearbook (why did we have yearbooks in 3rd grade - I guess we didn't. It was some kind of written something like a yearbook though) and I remember writing "Try. Try again."

(Childhood memories that are truly our own, not the stories we have heard our parents tell again and again, show us so much about what we are made of now and what we are holding on to. Some people misinterpret this as a way to blame someone from our past, but if that is what we do with our memory we are missing the point entirely. The real question isn't what did the other person say or do to me but "what does it mean that I remember this thing? how am I made of this?")

I have no idea why I wrote this in my "yearbook" because even then I knew I was not a Try. Try again, kind of girl. I was more of a "do the stuff I am really good at only" kind of girl.

I was lucky (or maybe not) that the kind of stuff I was good at was the kind of stuff that mattered to teachers. I remember my teacher nodding her head approvingly at my 'motto'.

(that head nod is actually the part of my memory that is important; the approval for saying the safe thing)

Flash ahead a few years and no one would be thinking "Try. Try again." was a good motto. Not that we had become a world full of quitters, but it wasn't try-ers that were running things now - it was the do-ers that made things happen.

The world had moved on to "Do or Do not. There is No Try." YAY for Yoda! Then Nike eliminated that notorious 'try' word altogether with "Just Do It."

hope locket by cuddly rigor mortis and polarity

I still like the word "Try" though. And Hope, I like the word "Hope". I used to make a locket with the word Hope and people asked me all the time to change the word. They didn't like it.

I see the potential pitfalls with these words, but I still love them. Surrounded by people filled with hope that are trying to make things better is not such a bad space to be.

My favorite quote is T.S. Eliot "for us there is only the trying - the rest is not our business."

We can only do what we can do. The process is what we do. The rest is not our business.

I cannot disconnect Nike's "Just Do It" from the idea of winning and the winning part is sometimes (and often) outside our control and I am over the things outside my control (I have been totally over them since Janelle recommended James Altucher's book a couple months ago.)

being any kind of barometer for how I am doing - not because I am a control freak, really! but because I am committed to being about the stuff that matters and not just about the stuff that can be measured.

What do you all think?

(yes, I am channeling Dolly Parton now, I blame my increased bust size due to the 47 layers of clothing I am wearing right now)

xo I still have a winter mayhem update post to write this week, I haven't forgotten! Stay warm!

this is the year we do it ... better

 .... not better than someone else does it and not even better than we did it last year, because we were in a difference space last year and we don't fit in that space anymore. Doing what we could have (maybe) done then may not be the best thing for us to do now.

(and looking backward only gets us a sore neck and 

embarrassing photos on Facebook

when we walk into things)

We don't do it better by looking at what didn't work. We look at the stuff that went right. We focus on how we want to feel. 

Hubs and I went out to dinner a couple weeks ago. I had been spending a lot of time alone in my studio working and not doing a lot of talking and I shocked myself with the extent of the unconscious negative chitchat we immediately had going on -

about the guy who turned without signaling, the temperature, the shortened day, the pending storm, the traffic, the parking lot, health stuff, customer problems, my daughter's problems, my niece's problems, political stuff, Fukushima (hubs is obsessed with Fukushima) - all important topics, but I realized we were framing all our conversations about what was going wrong.

On the drive home I deliberately refocused us. I pointed out the beautiful holiday Christmas lights and Sully's latest adorableness on Facebook, a wonderful customer email I had received that day, the delicious leftovers we were going to have for lunch the next day ...

Every time hubs brought up a problem, I re-framed it. Every time I was about to say something that wasn't something I wanted or connected to how I wanted to feel, I stopped.

When we got to the house I asked George if he noticed what I was doing and he said "yes, but what good does it do to pretend everything is perfect - how does that fix anything?"

This isn't about pretending everything is perfect. It's not about fixing anything or getting so fixated on who we want to be that we lose sight of who we are. But once we know we get what we focus on, scratch that - once we know we are what we focus on - once we really know this, this mindless negative chatter matters.

It matters alot.

 
We currently have a Venus Retrograde that takes us right into a Mercury Retrograde which takes us right into a Mars Retrograde (some people may feel like they aren't really getting started until May!)  - this can create a whole lot of space for us to reinvent ourselves this year.

So how do we want this all to play out? What are we going to do with this space we have been given now to make the stuff that we know isn't working for us better? Hoping everyone is having a wonderful New Year! We are expecting snow to start any minute here!

New Moon in Capricorn on January 1st - the party's over on Wednesday folks, time to get down to business (of course if you are reading this in December you can still party like it's your job)

capricorn locket by polarity

The Universe is all set to put the "new" in 2014 with a new moon in Capricorn on January 1st.

Capricorn is as earthy as an earth sign gets, is ruled by daddy Saturn and presides over the darkest time of the year so you know he is one serious dude.

I'd call him "sir" if I were you. I'm sure he shops at Barneys and carries a platinum card (that he has earned).

He is most decidedly not a trust fund baby and does not believe in the 4 hour work week.

This new moon is all about hard work, ambition, common sense, perseverance, efficiency, organization and responsibility. The goat is all business, folks and the goat gets results.

(these are not overnight results and he doesn't expect them to be either)

The stars don't often line up this well with the calendar so it's probably a good time to start paying attention.

For most people there will be no doubt about what they have to do (the steps may not be totally clear, new moons are dark and the season is dark, but we will definitely know what is not working) - we just have to set the intentions for change that set the wheels in motion.

I don't want to be a bubble buster and say the party's over, but .... the party's over. 

And if you are like me and screaming, "STOP! I haven't partied yet!", well, it's too late - the party went on without us. We missed it.

We have a cardinal grand cross now that really culminates in April - so I think something about the way we handle things now will be how they are played out in April. We've got a stellium of planets in Capricorn so this won't just be big picture stuff - it will be played out in homes and businesses everywhere. This will be relationship stuff or work/career/status stuff for most people.

And of course this new moon will finish up with the full moon in 6 months.

Capricorn is a restrained guy - he doesn't lose his cool, so let's try to keep ours, too, when things get challenging now.  New moon stuff is happening in the dark so we have to trust that stuff is happening we can't see - we just have to line up our energy with this field by doing the work - use common sense, get organized, do things in an efficient way, make responsible decisions, keep your word, produce quality work, get up early, do the thing that is right in front of you, finish what you start or don't start it at all.

Don't clutter up your life with loose ends now. Take care of your physical body. This isn't work til we drop stuff - nothing in the universe supports us hurting ourselves ever. This is about - don't spend two hours looking at Grumpy Cat on the internet (and yes, I mean the FAMOUS Grumpy Cat and not me, the original grumpy Cat) - spend two hours recharging with a hike - you can totally keep up with Grumpy Cat, but get your work done first, take care of yourself, your relationships and your business first.

This is first chakra security stuff. Capricorn rules bones, skin and joints.

So if you are not getting what you need from relationships or activities that you spend considerable amounts of time on, your body and mind (depression is here, too) will tell you now. 

Actually they have been telling you for a while - this is the new moon time for a new plan of action - you will have excellent universal support with any steps you take. 

First center physical problems like fatigue, skin problems and joint pain that are ignored (ie we don't look at what we are getting back from what we are giving our energy and time to) lead to worse stuff like arthritis, allergies and autoimmune problems. This is an excellent time to create new routines for physical stuff.

If you know what house almost 11 degrees Capricorn was hanging out when you were born (email me and I could look it up for you or google your chart - there are freebies online, you need a time of birth within 15 minutes for this to be totally accurate) you will see what area of your life you can best work with this stuff to get results.

If you know an area of your life that can use a Capricorn overhaul - that's certainly where this energy is for you.

MONTHLY AFFIRMATION TIPS:

Some Capricorn new moon affirmation areas to think about: security, time, self-discipline, your brand and image, ambition, opportunity, goals, delegation, releasing control, father figures, reputation, your bones, knees, skin and joints

Some I will be working with include:

1. I easily recognize, welcome and enjoy the work that leads to success.
2. I receive and enjoy positive recognition for my work.
3. I easily set personal and work boundaries that create time for me to do the things I love to do
- I shoot for 10 (see Jan Spiller's site for some ideas with these - she calls them monthly wishes, if wishes feels right to you and better than the word affirmation use that)

Get grounded - we're in an earth sign now, so this should be easier - always make affirmations from a  positive place (positive meaning certain) - write your affirmations down by hand in cursive, we want the letters all connecting and flowing together, speak them out loud. I used to write my affirmations on strips of paper and put them into a bowl of rice so I can mix them around every now and then with my fingers if things got stagnant - then release your attention from them knowing that your intention is known.

Lately I have been burning mine and releasing the ashes into moving water. I feel a little more connected with the finality of the results when I do this.  
 
Know these things are already yours.

 My Capricorn locket ---->
is 25% off until January 19th with coupon code PARTYSOVER

Check out my post on Create and Thrive about 3 Things to Do With The Space Between 2013 and 2014

more lessons from 2013 ....

So ... even though I like to think I am the kind of person who believes life offers up experiences and not lessons

(the thinking part of me knows this is true but the emotional part of me still channels grade school report cards along with the nervous belly and yearning for little gold stars)

if I said "experiences from 2013" this would be a whole other post ... and actually now that I write that, I probably need to write that post, too. It might be a lot more fun.

This not so fun series started here and here.

sullymac - boy wonder

3. The Etsy and doing it all lesson:

My "one woman show" business is not sustainable.

Before Etsy the idea of a 'one woman show' as a lasting business model was not on my radar. I did not think this was some kind of nobler thing or more important way of doing business. I did not think this was the way to a happier life or more money or doing more impactful work - I didn't think about it at all really.

After a decade in banking watching businesses survive, thrive, explode, implode and just drift away from passionate founders and another decade with my own business (much of that time with employees) I knew that businesses need systems and processes and checkpoints. I knew that businesses are investments and need to be cared for as such.

Somehow when Etsy came along I forgot all about this stuff I already knew.

I was like the young girl who scoffs at the friends who pine for their princes, but secretly practices her curtsies and tiara hair - I created exactly the business I would never advise another person to create.  

Maybe the business I had secretly always wanted - the one with me in complete control.

Every single thing I have sold in the last 7 years (over 25,000 or so things) have been designed, fabricated, finished, checked, packaged and shipped by me - every single show I've done was booked, planned, displays created, shipped, assembled, show floor worked, orders filled, customers followed up with by me, websites created, blogs created, social media and business relationships haphazardly maintained, over 1000 blog posts, a gazillion other things - only God knows how many customers corresponded with, how many balls made it into baskets, how many balls were dropped ...

Then Etsy announces that manufacturing is OK now and start promoting it in subtle and not so subtle ways and I feel kind of like ... well, an idiot. Because I knew this was not a sustainable model and I have worked myself into the ground with it anyway. There is no fault here. It is just an experience I will be creating in a new way in 2014. Just a leg of my journey - the next leg will be different.

(we all get lots of legs don't worry, it only looks like we just get two, there is a record breaking millipede with 750 - we are really more like her)

2. The "when you've got your health" lesson:

I will have to get back to this one because I am not feeling as healthy today as I would like, no doubt because I have put my health practices on the back burner for the last few busy weeks. I think I should write about this from a place of strength. Autoimmune stuff is tricky ...

(luckily for me, cats have nine lives and we always land on our feet ... and I've got all those legs remember)

1. The mothering is a gift lesson:

I come from a family with a long lineage of motherhood karma. Infertility, miscarriages, babies raised by aunts and grandmothers, babies born to unwed mothers - we have only one baby (she is almost 5 now) born to a mother and father who were married (to each other and before she was conceived) in 4 generations.

I am going to write a long post about this mothering/creation/karma stuff next week. With Jupiter in Cancer it is kind of divine timing to talk about this stuff, maybe someone can be helped by something with it.

I wanted to wrap this post up this week, so I can start a new leg of our journey next week. No telling where this new leg will carry us - another family inheritance is feet that tend to go in unintended directions and are also about two sizes too big so we always to keep our eyes open ....

xo all - Merry Christmas Week!