just because she's beautiful doesn't mean you aren't - part I


When my daughter started high school she tried out for the school soccer team. She was going from a very small elementary school

(and the only school in the district that was K-8th and didn't funnel students to the same middle school)

into a very large high school. A lot of talented girls took the field on try out day. I could see my daughter was nervous. I was nervous, too - in that way mothers get when they know their children really, really want something that is outside their control.

I said - "I'm so glad there are so many good players here today."

she said - "Huh?

she thought - (my mother has lost her freaking mind - where do I get a new mother)

I said - "You're a good player, too. You'll fit in with these girls."

she said - "What if they're too good?" 
I heard - ("what if I'm not good enough?")

I said - "Just because they're good doesn't mean you aren't."

she said - "There's only so many spots mom." 

As she ran onto the field I could hear the other parents yelling after their girls, "GO THERESA!", "YOU CAN DO IT!","GO SALLY!"

I started thinking my advice was kind of lame. What had I been thinking?!

My daughter needed warrior energy now, not advice from Dr. Phil!

I channeled Athena and managed to screech out something like "GET 'EM!" at exactly the moment the other parents got silent.

(my daughter's memory is that it was something like "KILL 'EM")

Last night at dinner I found myself saying something similar (they're good and you are, too) to hubs about another business down the street and him replying something like, "there's only so much work though."

(I did manage to restrain myself from screaming "GET KILL 'EM" this time)

Hubs isn't on Facebook. If he was he could see this guy announcing his new location and his new equipment and his relaxing vacation to Bermuda with his gorgeous wife and 2.5 smiling, towheaded children. George would never sleep again.

It has me thinking about the tools we need to live in a world where everyone's bright, shiny new "great thing that has happened to them" is visible to us. Also everyone's pain.

So, I'm starting a business series about this next week. We'll see where it leads.

We have a Balsamic Moon now - get some rest today!


Donna said...

can't wait to read this one ... are you still making the fox mirror locket?

KJ said...

I am so glad I am not on facebook.

I do think that we are all too willing to lie to the world about how great things are, and sometimes too willing to lie to ourselves.

Your husband has been in business how many years? He has built a reputation that is irreplaceable and new tools and shiny posts and even sales cannot replace the trust his customers have placed in him. It also doesn't hurt that he likely has a lower overhead. :)

Blessings on you and yours Cat and thanks for the wonderful post.

Catherine Ivins said...

thanks Donna- I do yes, I am not sure links work in here, but here goes:


Hey Kathy- I hope you are doing well! Yes, hubs has been in business since 2001 - the guy down the street is about 20 years younger. He's been around a couple years, but is on our radar more now because we have a had a couple big customers retire/sell and the new people have moved over to his big shiny building. I am sure new people will find George unless we are just getting ready to move on in a bigger way .... I hope you are loving NC! xo

lynn bowes said...

Ooooooh, this is gonna be good!

KJ is exactly right and I'll take her statement a step further and say that we are all too willing to BELIEVE what strangers and friends tell the world about how great things are. I've been thinking about this same thing for some time now and have made a conscious decision to stay away from Facebook, in particular. The juju there is all at once stifling, shocking, depressing, enraging, and makes me rub my eyes in disbelief daily.

Your advice to your daughter was perfect. You should patent it.

Write on, sister. Write on.

Catherine Ivins said...

My brother is a music teacher and tells me his 11 year old students do not like/are not on Facebook - this gives me hope - they are the Pluto in Sagittarius gypsy/philosopher generation - they hate to be bored and they hate to conform, which feels like Facebook now, so no doubt they will come up with something else.
xo Lynn (I haven't forgotten your b-day!)