2012 Affirmation # 5 - if you can't be a good example ... at least be a warning.

"learn to dance or the angels won't know what to do with you" ... saint augustine

I have been around the block a time or two.

(not in a bad way if you know what I mean and not in any way that involves running shoes and a water bottle - in fact if you see me running these days, it is pretty much guaranteed there is a large dog behind me or a small dog in front of me, but one way or the other it is pretty certain that a dog is involved somehow)

I have worked jobs with very long, stressful hours with alot of responsibility and headaches. I have had businesses that went places and some that went no place and all the work and craziness that was involved with all of that. But I was always able to separate my job title or business adventure from myself.

I was never really in it all the way.

And now I am.

In it all the way.

In a what you see is what you get, this gets so personal we know each other's underwear colors

(and styles - why do so many of us wear boyshorts?)

kind of way that is so terribly amazing and terribly rewarding and terribly exhausting.

So, I affirm we all give ourselves a break in 2012, take a little bit better care of ourselves (some of us alot better care of ourselves), dance a little more, work a little less and if we can't be a good example of what to do at least we can be a good example of what not to do

(this has always worked very well for me actually)

and maybe coax a few other makers to join us ....

* dance print by wallfry

** what I have learned this week about schizophrenia - alot - way too much to write about, but a very important thing is that schizophrenia often involves anosognosia which is a long scary word (doesn't it just look like a word you don't want to get to know, like the word chocolate, that one has always been trouble for me, too) for a person's inability to recognize or understand the nature of his illness, like with alzheimer's disease - it's not about denial - so interventions don't work, normal reasoning doesn't work and this little twist called "lack of insight" is like having the Himalayas between David and wellness.

the girl next door or you make a better door than you do a window or ... any song by Jim Morrison

I read that people with white doors (front doors) are most likely to have a tidy house, abhor mesess and like a clean and clinical, modern decor whereas people with green doors tend toward the exact opposite aesthetic and even have a tendency to be hoarders.

(yes, I have a green front door but I only hoard the really important stuff like magazines from the year everyone in my family was born - yes, I mean everyone, unused 35mm film - you never know - used Mallomar boxes - I find they reseal very nicely, make handy little containers and seeing them makes me happy during the summer months when the cookies are gone from the grocery store shelves - it's the little things, folks)


I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. Do you know your next door neighbor? ... Mother Teresa

Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door ... Ralph Waldo Emerson

When one door is closed, don't you know, another is open ... Bob Marley

Ten men waiting for me at the door?
Send one of them home, I'm tired ... Mae West


* for some reason the homegrown chaos has me obsessing over doors this week - the top picture is a door from an old hotel in Cape May that I snatched up to divide off my dining room (which is more of a dining nook actually) - the picture above is an old door, painted with an old bicycle shop logo that I have attached to an old white dresser (you might notice a few mistakes with the bicycle drawing - ack!)

xo =^..^=

putting the chiweagle controversy to bed once and for all ...

Sooo ... anyhoo ... Olive has been anxious

(ie pacing the studio and pawing at the mouse)

for me to make this announcement - her DNA results are in!

You may remember that back in the day a certain unnamed, nontrusting family member accused Olive of fabricating her heritage when this photo
<----- appeared in a google image search. This is not Olive. This is Dottie.

Dottie is a Chiweagle (chihuahah/beagle) and since Olive has always claimed to be a Boggle (boston terrier/beagle) but looks more like Dottie than Olive's Boggle buddy Ruby - we were all left wondering ...

(plus she is always googling Paris Hilton when I forget to power down my laptop)

Not that we have any problem with chihuahahs or particular fondness for boston terriers - since our pre-Olive days were filled with labrador retrievers - but we just don't like to be played for fools here. I mean we, of course, would love her no matter what, but the number of bacon slices, playdates and woofpurr toys in her future has been hanging in the balance while we have been waiting on the results ...

Anyhoo, the official lab-certified results are in and Olive is (drumroll please) 45% Beagle, 45% Boston Terrier ... and 10% Australian Shephard.

So, Olive has been totally vindicated

(obviously, we have forgiven her for not mentioning her rascally Australian Shephard great grandpa since we all have one of those in our family trees and he most likely gave her that wild eyed look we love and Aussie accent)

and for everyone who has supported Olive during this controversial time- she wants me to tell you that your hot naked man fruit basket is in the mail!

boggle buddies 4ever (ruby and olive)

2012 Affirmations # 4 - there are no mistakes

I once had an art teacher say, "allow chaos, knowing that order will eventually emerge".

Trust our instincts.

Release perfectionism and criticism; surrender to the process.

Follow the energy and keep adding to the energy.

Fearlessness is probably at the foundation of everything amazing that has ever been born - it doesn't mean recklessness and is maybe the opposite of recklessness. We learn to take responsibility for our choices. We learn our craft and practice it. We choose to be courageous and to open our hearts to life itself.

"the painting rises from the brush strokes as the poem rises from the words - the meaning comes later" ... joan miro

Affirming that there are no mistakes allows us to take risks that perfectionism would never allow. It allows something larger to express through us. We flow with the fierce urge to create, to make, to work with what is and allow it to express what could be.

The idea of "working with what is" and "allowing" are major themes in my life right now both professionally and personally - although I don't keep the two all that separate these days and trying to would probably create a Sybil-like alter ego

(maybe one named Dog who would figure this all out for me or maybe hubs would just have one more pooch to walk and Olive a little competition to kill her plushies quickly by ripping out their squeakers)

*jim morrison quote print above from sacred and profane

David came to our house from rehab this weekend. I have been watching hubs (a man predisposed by nature to say the wrong thing for the right reasons) struggle to say the right thing. Sometimes there are no right things. As I write this he has taken David to work with him for the day ... just holding in our hearts the words "the painting arises from the brushstrokes" and allowing ...

xo =^..^=