10 Day (maybe this is a 14 day) WE CAN DO THIS Countdown to 2011 - # 9 Showing Up

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light and not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be ... " - Marianne Williamson

When my daughter was very little and raced around with other children she would always run with her arms out and behind her to keep herself in the lead - quite genius I think.

(of course, this could have been an attempt to steady herself when she ran full out fast or maybe she thought she would take off and fly if she was fast enough)

My intention with this new year of deciding is to gently

(although I may throw my arms behind me sometimes, so please forgive me if I knock into anyone or look like the prima ballerina's understudy who has left the star tied up in the broom closet and stepped out into the spotlight not really sure of what she is doing)

explore what it means to me to really show up.

I think sometimes I have expected the world to draw me in and engage me - easier for me to hide behind my work and this busy-ness and so I have set up my life in such a way that this busy-ness is overwhelming and real -


(how can I be expected to take a deep breath when I only have time for little gasps of oxygen after all)

but this reality was created by me and I can create a new reality.

Showing up, for me, will be about allowing other people to sometimes be disappointed in my choices ... and making them anyway.

No hiding. No comfort zones. Showing up is about our everyday choices. Working out in the morning again because otherwise I will never do it.

Saying "I" when I mean "I".

When I worked in a bank it was all about the "we" and being the teamplayer that I was I got in the habit of saying "we" even when I was the one doing the work.

These days, although I am the only one here,

other than Olive of course - who does provide daily inspiration, but spends way too much time lazily dangling over the heater and yawning at me when I try to send her to the hardware store for flux, to be included in this -

I still say "we" about my business when maybe I should be claiming it with the word "I" more often.

(I should say that this "I" thing is a lesson for me in really owning my work and showing up - for some of us the lesson may be in the "we" and the big picture thinking and team sharing this word creates)

No more standing myself up in 2011. I resolve to show up - even if I have to run around with my arms behind me - like that overbundled brother in A Christmas Story.

* beautiful You are an ARTist said the little bird keepsake box by Danielle of herpaintedword

Why "DECIDING" Means Ditching the Get It While We Can Mentality #8 counting down to 2011, maybe this is a countback

Yes, I realize it is already 2011, somehow these posts got a wee bit behind (sigh) ....

You might know this feeling, too.

The feeling that makes you say yes to work when you really need to say no.

When I had a cart in the mall, I never sold anything in the first 2 hours of any day

and yet everyday during this period I would start to get nervous like I would never sell another thing ever again -

it is the same feeling when you start to sell regularly on Etsy and then you don't for a day or two or maybe a week.

(now sometimes this is a good feeling - well, not a good feeling, but it produces a good outcome - a little kick in the keester that we need to encourage us out of a rut and into something new)

But, it is also the feeling that leads us to take on any work, any opportunity that comes along whether it fits in with our intention for our business and our life or not because this could all end tomorrow - doomsday - get it while we can - thinking.

This mentality can be the death of us in almost a literal sense because we will run ourselves ragged, undervalue our work and make promises that will be impossible to keep -

(although we will beat ourselves up trying)

We have to trust in our process.

Saying no sometimes is about self-love. To quote Dr. Phil -

(yes, I am quoting Dr. Phil now - don't hate me - does anybody else find it really weird the way he grabs his wife's hand and practically races her out at the end of every show - very odd - imagine if Oprah did that to Stedman, people would throw a net over her)

It teaches people how to treat us and more importantly confirms to us how we want to be treated. It tells the universe that we trust it; that stuff will still be there for us later - the right stuff.

(and that little voice in your head that screams - are you crazy, you can't turn this down, you are lucky to get paid for this - you can make 10 scarves in 2 days for $150.00 and ship them to Peoria - may get a little quieter - that voice may even crack open a bottle of champagne and whisper hallelujah)

* magical cupcakes print by raceytay

Happy 1/1/11 Everyone!

I think I am going to pay all my bills today

(maybe)

just so I can write 1/1/11 over and over - it feels so much like a do-over year to me - a year when anything can happen!

We managed to be awake at midnight

(but only because a stinkbug crashed into our ceiling, sending me flying for the lightswitch and Olive running under the bed - yes, the stinkbugs are back - if anyone has any stinkbug prevention tips let me know - we can't seem to figure out where they are getting in)

and someone on our street was setting off fireworks, very brave of them with the new state trooper station across the road.

I had a couple people email me about a previous post where I said something like our businesses are either busy growing or they're busy dying.

I definitely did not mean to imply that we have to have a big business. I think a small, profitable

(and there are kinds of profit other than monetary profit although monetary profit is usually pretty important at some point in the life of a business)

business is a wonderful, miraculous thing we should all be proud of. Maybe instead of growth I should have used the word change.

Because I could see where growth might infer something getting bigger and bigger which does not have to be our intention at all with this creative thing we are growing.

(oops there is that word again)

I do think that when you create something from your heart you give it one thing and it gives you back another thing and this process is about growth even if nothing ever gets any bigger ....

Anyhoo, I hope everyone gets to write 1/1/11 at least once today!

* Year of the Rabbit calendar print by Brooke Woolley

Happy New Year's Eve Everyone!

I am making guacamole and cleaning the house

(the thrills never end here folks)

we used to have movie marathons to keep our daughter up until midnight, but now we are the ones trying to stay awake -

(sigh)

hoping everyone has an amazing and safe New Year's Eve - tomorrow starts a brand new year and I have decided that it is going to be fantabulous for all of us!

*photograph by matt allen photography