It's Whining Wednesday

Maybe if I set aside one day a week to whine, I really will become the glass half-full kind of girl that I've always wanted to be (they live longer) for the rest of the week ...

1. First whine- the plumbing in my house stinks. One faucet after another has started to drip, one toilet handle after another is not even jiggle-able anymore. Handy hubby told me this morning to flush the downstairs toilet "very slowly".

When we first bought this house- we were just so happy to be out of our crappy apartment and excited that someone would actually sell us a house that we overlooked a few things.

I remember the realtor turning on every faucet, smiling that happy realtor (ka-ching) kind of smile and handy hubby and I (he was handy boyfriend in those days) smiling and nodding as if we had never lived in a place with running water before.

Later, George and I had a good laugh about happy realtor's faucet olympics - but now that I can appreciate the beauty in a sink that doesn't have an endless parade of potted plants sitting in it to catch the drips, I miss those days when we were young and stupid

(and had empty sinks and toilets that could be flushed fast and thoughtlessly like they are supposed to be)

2. 2nd Whine- someone stole gas from my car in my driveway and no one believes me about this.

My proof of this is:

1. I put gasoline into my tank
2. I went to sleep
3. I woke up to no gasoline in my tank

(and I think, even on my most distracted mornings, I would notice a 10 gallon puddle of Amoco unleaded in my driveaway)

But apparently this is all something I must have imagined because after hubby analyzed my gas cap for "pry marks" - and found none

(and I was unable to produce a gas receipt, although I am left asking what kind of man would even ask his wife for such a thing- where did the trust go?)

he did, of course, find some orange paint on my side mirror and asked who I'd hit - assuming that I had hit someone and not that someone had hit me (this paint is actually from a very poorly placed pole outside of a drive thru window that I had hit, but his assumption totally irked me and so I said)

"it must have been the gas thief"

as you can imagine, this line has now become the family joke line and every misplaced set of keys and sunglasses is blamed on the "gas thief"

so, anyhoo, yesterday I decided to talk to a NJ State Trooper about this (our town has no police department, that's right, no police- probably the main reason for the rise of gas thievery in our driveways) and a small handful of state troopers have moved into the municipal building across the street from our house.

The trooper looked at me a bit strangely (hubby may have been giving her a cuckoo hand signal behind my back, although he denies this) and said that maybe it was "a friend playing a joke"

which is totally ridiculous because

1. I don't have any friends


2. if I did, they would be the kind of friends to autograph my side walls with deep key scratches not steal gasoline because they know how much I dislike the oil companies

Well, I could whine all day, but I am off to Home Depot to buy a new toilet handle and ... of course, I have to get gas first.


MAB said...

Amy Winehouse might have stolen your gas, you know. Possible.

Unknown said...

hey maybe it's amaco's new disappearing gas-- leaves less of a carbon footprint, and fewer people actually are able to drive anywhere!!

very funny post-- AND why is it we are always left feeling like the crazy ones????

time to invest in a video cam mounted on the house!! hah!!

Artsnark said...

Love the idea of Whining Wednesday! Good luck with the DH - men, so naive (shakes head)

Anonymous said...

Whine all you want. I don't buy all of that positivity nonsense anyway. It's trendy to be positive now and so uncool to be a "negative nancy" or "debbie downer." It's all because of The Secret and The Power of Now and other media dictating to us that things will be better if we could just think good thoughts. Anyway, I don't buy it. I've known plenty of realists who have lived long lives. I think at this point we should be positive because it feels good and it brings about balance. After all, if you had made this a happy post about your plumbing and lack of gas, would that have made the situation any better? Nah, venting made it better...and I'm glad you did :)

M.M.E. said...

I love the Whining Wednesday idea. I totally believe you that someone stole your gas. My boyfriend never believes me either about such things. Psht. Boys.

Tonya said...

I believe you that your gas was stolen! I am always the one who has crazy things happen to me that no one believes: naked men in the park, cigarette butts flying in my car window and burning my face, dropping keys down the storm drain at Starbucks. Just remember, bad incidences (or decisions), make good stories ;)

itsfromarizona said...

I TOTALLY believe you...because my car got "shopped in" last night. My paycheck stubs which were -nicely- stuffed in my driver door pocket were thrown on the floor. My Splenda stash in the ashtray (for when Jeff at Hardback Cafe forgets to put it in my coffee) was now on the floor. My glove box was open with old tire receipts and expired insurance papers thrown all over the seats! Whoever did this thought they'd give my CD case (full of mostly old, no longer interesting cds) a new home. That case was $30...and I bet they don't even know who Gloriana is!
I'm mostly upset that my dogs did not awake me when this was occuring. I gave them a break because it's windy.

Xenotees said...

Cat, you are the best! You are such a talented writer!!!

Love the part:

a) I have no friends


I can always count on you for a funny tale! I'm going to have to check out this segment every week. Maybe I can guest sometime! haha

readingsully2 said...

Jean, I want you to know that my favorite is your moo card holder. It is wonderful.:)