the gift of no-gifts or my eyes have been opened to the need for a little romantic something with a bow on it this time of year

(whisper typing while hubby sleeps)

If I want a romantic gift from hubs I have to

1. find it
2. buy it
3. give him the receipt
4. be reimbursed by him from our joint checking account

(this reimbursement often takes the form of a check signed by me and written to our credit card company)

this usually doesn't bother me, but lately I am wondering if I should be requiring a little more from him ...

I am not talking diamond earrings here, but something maybe a little bit efforty.

To be fair, he did make us pancakes on Christmas morning

of course his family called within exactly the 3.7 minutes it took for him to do this and I heard him saying that he was "making breakfast" .. which of course he was .. but he said it very matter-of-factly as if to imply that he does this making breakfast thing frequently ... which he does if you consider frequently something done along the same time frame as replacing your muffler - has anyone ever replaced one of those things anyway - other than a run over your neighbor's mailbox type of situation - not that this has ever happened to me, well at least not more than once ...

and this year we had agreed to the no-gift Christmas due to our bathroom/kitchen renovation costs but I still kind of expected a little something and thought this no-gift agreement was going to be a wee bit flexible and there would still be something with my name on it under the tree.

(there wasn't, well except for all the packages to hubs where my name followed the word FROM)

I know I do not have the right to be pissed about this since I signed the no-gift agreement, although by signed I mean nodded when hubs suggested this while I was semi-conscious after a day spent inhaling flux and E6000.

It kind of seemed like a good idea at the time.

I thought because I am not a romantic, mushy kind of girl that this would be ok with me. It wasn't. When I brought up to hubby that I was bothered he said to just go out and buy myself something like I usually do, but now this entire find it, buy it, reimburse it thing is just not going to cut it anymore.

So, I have discovered the real gift of the no-gift agreement is to find out that I really do need gifts and I will be cancelling the no-gift agreement before my birthday which is in 4 weeks and 4 days (not that I am counting or anything) or paramedics may need to be called to identify hub's body.

(he is now awake - despite my whisper typing - reading this over my shoulder and says "just don't let them do anything weird with my body" which of course, I won't ... unless it's funny)

UPDATE - since I wrote this post on Sunday night, hubs has fixed my bicycle tire, bought me a box of mallomars, my favorite blueberry poptarts (very hard to find the unfrosted kind I like) and a Sephora gift card so it looks like the paramedics will not be needed - but check back in 4 weeks and 2 days just to be sure ...

* rock me adadeus print by lisa barbero

your mama ....

you don't really think I'd talk about your mama do you .....

10 Thoughts to Kick Off 2012 ... slowly, I am kicking things off slowly this year (picture that field goal kicker in a slo-mo replay because that's about the energy level I am working with at the moment)

1. Banish results oriented thinking to the back of the closet

When we start seeing very clearly that our thoughts can create our reality we might find ourselves getting a little too attached to the results -

(which may be the surest way to muck things up)

When I was back in the craziness this holiday season there was this little voice that kept whispering screaming at me - "are we really doing this ... again? didn't we set up the processes and practices and the right thinking to create a better way this time? how the hell did this happen?"

And although logically I knew

(or the teeny, tiny little part of my brain that still thinks logically knew - I may have destroyed most of my logical thinking with the copious amounts of diet pepsi and york peppermint patties I was consuming)

that I always make about 50% of my annual income in a very short period of time and there is just no way for this to happen in my little one-woman business without things getting insane, I really felt I had failed when things got totally crazy and exhausting ... again.

Of course, there was no failure, there was simply a lesson for me in losing my attachment to the results ...

creating our own reality does not have to be followed by - "and so this is all our fault".

Sometimes sh*t just happens.

Like the fact that although I was somewhat prepared for last minute wholesale orders which mostly didn't happen, I was totally unprepared for a site I sell on called Daily Grommet to explode from 1-2 sales a day to up to 40.

(and before you assume I am planning a trip to Hawaii to spend my millions I should admit this is a wholesale, drop-ship situation with my commissioned artwork mini-lockets - the most work and least profitable of all my makings and that I had to enter every customer's address into paypal to print my shipping labels - this fact alone was adding an hour to my workday, not to mention the 3-4 hours a night fabricating the little suckers)

It was nice to get a check from them yesterday though :)

(and as unexpected as this rash on my neck right now which I have self-diagnosed as a third chakra communication problem or possibly a laundry detergent irritation, of course I am practically a doctor ... well, I didn't actually go to medical school, but I do wash my hands ... alot)

* a better man calendar by splendid and sound

Back Wednesday with 2012 Thought #2 ... notice I am not using the word resolution since I have resolved to remain unresolved for now

Happy Almost 2012!

In the midst of much family drama here, so taking a blog break until next week to get my act together

(I guess my countdown to 2012 will be a countback which makes more sense for me anyway these days)

... hope everyone had a nice holiday! xo all

* 2012 calendar by alex wijnen