Value Pricing for the Designer/Maker - something else to whine about on Wednesday

As makers we typically underprice ourselves. Several factors have converged on me lately that have forced me to relook at my pricing.

I did my taxes- ugh!

My online retail prices are forcing me into lower wholesale price points than I can work with as the wholesale percentage of my business grows.

And, I read an article about my work that said I "simply solder" a little eyehook to a car part with a soldering iron and visit a hardware store.

Now the writer of that article was talking about ingenuity and simplicity in form and function and meant no disrepect to me or my work, but it did make me realize that my price points and my own language about my process (I have never used a soldering iron in my life) reflected a certain value to her.

(it is totally up to me as a maker working with recycled and lower cost materials to educate people about the process that goes into each piece and the design behind the piece that adds to that value)

as well as the fact that "simple" design leaves the maker with no place to hide imperfections and isn't usually anywhere near as "simple" as it appears

Pricing our work is a complicated part of this handmade journey and a process for most of us.

Mistakes I've made with my pricing:

1. I did not think about wholesale pricing when I set my retail prices.

2. I set my prices based on my own pocketbook (which was likely empty at the time; it usually is)

and 3. Because I am related to a talented artist and could not see myself in the same way- I didn't understand my own skill set.

Bottom line- I didn't see my own value. And, I didn't see the potential wholesale problems with my pricing.

The mistakes I made are all about my own mindset and I have been adjusting them over time ever since.

I would say to hubby- but I can make X amount in X amount of time and he would say, "right, because you have done this thousands of times, other people can't- your customer can't".

As you become better and better at what you do, you will usually get faster and more productive. Does the fact that you work faster mean that you should charge less? Where else do we expect to pay less for experience?

This is why you can't just calculate your actual production time (although you must know how long things take you to produce).

And what about all the time it takes to do the kind of things we need to do to grow our businesses- how do we calculate that time in, when it is often more time than the actual making?

Factoring in our direct costs (raw materials), indirect costs (taxes, overhead, fees, etc) and labor time for each piece (production, marketing, packing, shipping, etc) is a good place to start with our pricing.

And then we need to take a look at the more complex issue of value.

Pricing needs to take into account all these varied aspects.

What is the value of your work to the customer?

Maybe starting at the end zone is a good idea -

(and working through a pricing exercise)

the price my item would sell for in a retail store that my target customer would be shopping in.

Value will take into account what other items are selling for in the marketplace, the uniqueness and skill set of our work and materials and the fact that our work is handmade and designed.

(we need to factor in costs and labor time when pricing our handmade work and we need to think about value, too - what is the value to our customer?)

I recently asked a few boutique owners (that I do not wholesale with, but have my target customer) what my product would sell for in their shops. I would recommend this if you struggling with the value component of your productline.

I will likely need to reduce costs by 10-15% and increase prices by 10-20% to get to a place where I can focus on wholesale. I want to stay fair to my retail customers (by doing what I can to reduce costs and expenses), but learn to be fair to myself, too.

One easy fix - in my Polarity shop I have always charged less for my small lockets even though they cost me exactly the same amount and take me exactly the same amount of time to make as the regular size locket.

A customer buying a medium size shirt in a department store would not expect to pay more than someone buying a small shirt. It is me who has trained my customer to see this as the way it should be by the way I have set up my pricing. No one buys my smaller locket because it costs less- they just want a smaller locket.

(and I will also be changing the wording in my locket listings from "I solder" to I clean, drill, braze with a flame at 800 degrees, grind, paint, polish and seal - well, maybe not exactly that- I don't want to put anyone to sleep, but maybe something that reflects the actual nature of the work a little bit better)

*sigh*

Take 10 Tuesday- some cool stuff you might have missed last week!


1. Yes, that's cork and yes, I am totally excited that Brazilian design firm Oiti are working with it in such an amazingly, unique way!

2. Amanda over at kindovermatter is taking a little break to have a baby! Her and Jenn are the nicest gals with the nicest crafty blog out there!

3. For the most amazing recipes from the most amazing jewelry designer- check out Lillyella's blog and be prepared for some yummilicious goodies!

4. The 7 Deadly Website Sins from Kirsty Hall - I may be committing a couple of these - hopefully not the mortal ones.

5. Loving the amazing studio series over at Art21 - they are seeking donations of as little as $1.00 to keep this all happening

6. Fearless launches e-mag- you will love this!

7. What WE can do about the Gulf Oil Spill

8. The Undeniable Imperative of Community over at the Indie Business Blog

9. The amazing Stephanie Fizer's ecourse Flourish starts May 31st!

10. Noelle from Xenotees great interview for Etsy about quitting her day job and she even mentions me, she's a sweetie!

GIVEAWAY - It's an ECO Etsy Paper Goods Extravaganza! 2 Winners This Week! CLOSED

AND THE WINNERS ARE- CHOSEN BY RANDOM.ORG

True Random Number Generator

Min: 1
Max: 506
Result:
276

True Random Number Generator

Min: 1
Max: 506
Result:
440

Anja and ThePricklyPinecone!

Team EcoEtsy is a group of Etsy sellers dedicated to reducing, reusing and recycling and for this week's giveaway, I am offering up my Earth Day auction winnings to be divided between TWO LUCKY WINNERS!

The prizes include:

Journal by Monkey Dog Studio

Recycled Mag Note Card Sets by BrassPaperClip

Eco Art Prints by TanisAlexis

Paint Sample Notebooks by PrairiePeasant

Cards by GreenEarthGoodies

Art Prints by Tanjasova

Origami Plants by Paper Disciple

A reusable T-Shirt Bag from zJayne

These items have a retail value of $130.00 which will be divided between the TWO WINNERS!


HOW TO WIN:

Visit one of these amazing shops and let the seller know your favorite item!

For additional entries:

(5) Follow my blog
(5) Twitter this post
(5) Blog about this contest; linking to this post
(5) Visit a different seller's shop(s) and list a favorite item

Let me know if you have done these things so I can give you additional entries. This contest is open to everyone.

DRAWING:

MIDNIGHT on Sunday, May 23th! Good luck!! CLOSED

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there!

This is a pic of my mom taken on her wedding day about 10 years or so before I was born.

Most (almost all) of our family pictures were lost in a moving accident and there are very few pictures of my mother around from this time period and from my childhood.

She has been gone a few years now, but I know she is still hanging around here, whispering (shouting) advice in my ear.

Am hoping to be waited on hand and foot for Mother's Day- looks like a family bike ride and a lunch out is in my future!

Friday Finds - going to the chapel ...

Thoughtful Thursday - price vs. value


"Maybe the reason it seems that price is all your customers care about ...
... is that you haven't given them anything else to care about."

Conversation by Seth Godin, Care Bear Collection from halo969 on Flickr

No Whining on Wednesday but maybe a status update since I'm sure you've been wondering

My latest projects - I've been working on new linesheets and a series of new mini lockets,

but more importantly I am currently on Day 4 of my Crest white strips program.

I'm not sure there's any actual whitening going on, except for about 30 seconds immediately following their removal (maybe) and I think they are making my teeth more sensitive.

This sensitivity might be how they actually work. Maybe after a week of not eating or drinking, people are too disgusted by your prominent ribcage and distended abdomen to notice your coffee-stained teeth.

(I'll stick with it though because I am not a quitter, dammit)

This is reminding me that there is a kiosk in my local mall with tooth whitening where a girl in a dentist-like lab coat,

(that just screams medical professional, I think she also sells the $200.00 ionic hair curlers)

does something to you that resembles some kind of dental torture while strangers stare and point and laugh,

(not that this has happened to me)

because I do my tooth whitening at home, like a normal person who has spent way too much time with coffee on her teeth.

My latest injury - I tumbled off the front steps while hanging a hummingbird feeder and smashed my kneecap onto a cement birdbath. I then broke the world record for cursing out hummingbirds with 20 curse words in 20 seconds

(Ripley's is coming out next week; I think the hummingbirds are planning a protest)

What I'm reading - I am on a Swedish detective kick, brought on by The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series. I ran through that author too quickly and moved on to Henning Mankell.

(I am more convinced than ever that I should be doing detective work in Sweden; I think they need me, plus I want to learn how to pronounce all these consonent clusters)

What I'm listening to - Hubby snore and Olive "dream chase" a squirrel while I eagerly await my new Macy Gray, expected on my door step next week

What I'm watching - Life on the Discovery channel but somehow Oprah's voice is ruining it for me- I miss Sigourney ...

I was planning a post for today on pricing our work and will pop one out soon, but the weather was just too nice for me to settle down with something serious- I write my weekly posts on Sundays and it is just too gorgeous here to work today! Happy Cinco de Mayo!


1. Nobody cares about your status updates tee by herrohachi
2. Fingerprint men's tee by nonfictiontees
3. Smile pretty print by thelittleprints
4. Imprintme silver fingerprint necklace by AliBaliJewellery
5. Sherlock Holmes paperweight by Ephemeralogie
6. Hummingbird TTV photo by theeye

Take 10 Tuesday - maybe money really does grow on trees and we just have to reach up and pick it


OK - for this week's take ten let's talk moula (moola?, moulah?)

(that's cold, hard cash for anyone not living in New Jersey)

because as the crafty community's discussion of free

(as in giving stuff - mostly your time - away to build an audience who will later buy from you or attract others who will later buy from you, without devaluing what it is that you are actually "selling")

organically grows into a discussion of pricing and value there is alot of good information out there:

1. Tara from ScoutieGirl's amazing post L-Earning my Worth over at Daily Worth.

2. The 3 P's of Pricing over at Productive Flourishing

3. The Design Sponge ladies on How to Price Your Work

4. Price Points for Handmade Crafts at the Craft Report

5. In an Abundant World, Scarcity is Opportunity by Sister Diane of Craftypod over at CraftMBA

6. Pricing Design Work at Smashing Magazine

7. Professional Pricing for Crafts People and Designers by Simone Walsh

8. Pricing Your Work at Creative Choices

9. Brenda, of Phydeaux Designs post on Pricing for Wholesale at PaperNStitch

10. Pricing Work Based on Value at Freeland Switch

Just Another Weekend in Jersey or untangling myself and Olive brings home the bacon

Saturday was such a beautiful day here and, like many of you probably, I had the need to seed.

Except our seeds are already in the ground, so I headed down to the Pattersons for a couple flats of annuals. They are my favorite local growers where every single family member works their farm and every single family member,

including their 100 year old collie, who I swear muttered "may I help you" as he brushed past me, offered me help. I love that place!

I got back home with my flats and saw that my compost was looking sincerely gorgeous, so I planted flowers in just about everything on my front porch that had drainage potential including my old teapot, garden shoes and my nephew's Tonka.

As I was admiring my newly acquired green thumb and cleverness, Olive came running toward me. She was moving fast, but awkwardly and seemed a bit panicky.

And she had something in her mouth.

And it was big.

It was very big.

(please don't let it be anything cute)

Olive hasn't "caught" anything in a long time, but there were a couple incidents last spring that earned her the nickname (and collar charm) - mole patrol.

She flew right past me into the house with a look in her eyes of conspiratorial panic and victory, as if she were shouting, "I'VE GOT IT! SHUT THE DOOR!"

It was a huge slice of pizza- sausage pizza.

After I wrestled it away from her (she could be lactose intolerant, who knows) and rewarded her with a couple dog treats

(she did try to bring home the bacon - or some other part of a pig - after all)

and planted my minions from the Pattersons, I thought I would check my email and UGH (again) - no internet!

I have been losing internet off and on for weeks. As soon as I schedule a cable appointment, the service rights itself. And even though I know the problem isn't really fixed I cancel the appointment, so I don't have to wait around all day for the cable guy and ...

so I don't have to face the huge tangle of wires behind my desk ...

which is at worst a fire hazard (is this kind of stuff still a fire hazard with surge strips and such?) and at best the kind of disgrace that always gives me a yucky feeling when I see it.

I am no feng shui expert, but I do know that energy gets stuck in neglected places; in messes, in tangles (and not just the kind of energy that gives you access to Google and cable television).

So, I spent the rest of the afternoon untangling, removing plugs to nowhere, removing electrical gizmos that I never use anymore, damp wiping everything off, vacuuming dust bunnies larger than actual bunnies

and with this one little insignificant activity (well, maybe when combined with the beautiful weather and the planting of some amazingly gorgeous new life in the front of my house) - I felt something lighten.

It was like I untangled a whole bunch of wires inside of me as well.

And, of course if you are reading this - my cable did manage to right itself somehow ... again... but this time I'm not going to cancel my repair appointment - since my wires are nice and tidy and easy to reach and I know if I get hungry while waiting for the cable guy, I can always send Olive out for pizza.

Brazen Cork Necklaces - not afraid to get naked, hang out and maybe cause a little trouble this weekend



Sometimes (especially as the days get warmer) my cork can get a bit too full of itself and I just can't keep it covered up.

I recently made a large "naked" cork order for a winery that is opening near me and am adding a few 'naked' pieces to my Uncorked shop this weekend. If you have a special wine cork saved from that special occasion and would like it reconstructed into a necklace or keychain or some other type of useful doodad, just drop me a line!

Have a nice weekend everyone- we are expecting wonderful weather here tomorrow.

Friday Finds - it's a dog's life - some stuff on Olive's list

Photobucket


1. charming pet balloon animal dog toy
2. mimi green dog collars
3. cookie mom dog spray
4. mimi green pictures of you dog duvet
5. organic pizza pie treats by olive
6. rubenacker boston terrier print
7. these creatures dog feeder
8. pet peek fence window
9. vintage pet doors
10. mountain dog rope leash
11. skate dog studios pet feeder

another Friday Finds stack by the amazing photographer, stacker and mother of pup Ruby Kella MacPhee












Thoughtful Thursday - who are we letting judge us?

"Here's the mistake we make in high school:

We let anyone, just anyone, judge our work (and by extension, judge us).....

The cheerleaders are deputized as the Supreme Court of social popularity and the gym teacher forever has dibs on whether or not we're macho enough to make it in the world.

These are patterns we sign up for, and they last forever (or until we tell them to go away).

...the ability to choose who judges your work ... is the key building block in becoming an artist in whatever you do."

Conversation by Seth; The Honorable Hound print by HoundTracks

20 Ways to Make Sure You Are Never Uncomfortable..

I once had a co-worker, who we will just call Cyndy Bennis

(because that was her name)

and she had an obsession with the office temperature

it was too hot

it was too cold


the thermostat was, of course, right next to my desk

one day after my gazillionth temperature adjustment

I said: "no flippin' more!"

(or maybe something a little bit stronger, this office was in Jersey)

and Cyndy said: "I'm sorry. But I just don't like to be uncomfortable."

(she kind of rocked my world that day because although I would never have voiced this out loud - and groaned when she did - I was often making choices that created exactly that kind of life)

Now I'm not about to rally for uncomfortableness

(and yes, you can totally use this word in your next Scrabble game just offer up this post and not an actual dictionary as proof of its wordiness)

because of course, it is kind of our nature to crave the comfortable, the warm and fuzzy, the familiar ... but there is something to be said for pushing past all that; pushing into the uncomfortable - the place where things can go either way

incredibly good or horribly bad

the place where things just don't stand still and something new has to happen.

Today (my older and wiser self) might offer up to Cyndy some advice on keeping life comfortable:

1. Do not get a dog.

2. Watch tv while you eat dinner with your kids so you don't have to deal.

3. Don't go to any kind of live performance because there will be really long lines.

4. Don't try anything you don't already know you will be able to do.

5. Use every type of available drive up window so you never have to leave your car.

6. Leave well enough alone.

7. Leave good enough alone.

8. Buy your clothes in the same store all the time.

9. Get your library books from the same section every time.







10. Never wear anything as cool as these ... again ----->








11. Let things happen to you. Don't make choices.

12. Never get out of your pajamas (wait, maybe scratch that one)

13. Don't watch the movie Precious because it will make you cry.

15. Never exercise.

16. Toss your rake and get a leafblower (thanks Sherry).

17. Do it for the money.

18. Do it for the approval.

19. Seek security above all else.

20. Find a comfortable spot ... and stay there.

I hope Cyndy wouldn't take this advice. I hope she is somewhere right now, all happy and warm and fuzzy and yes, a little bit uncomfortable, too. And I really hope she has a dog ... and some kick-ass shoes.

print above of Uncomfortable Situation by CordialKitten

1. Cutting Edge T-shirt by Xenotees
2. Pendant with butterfly and vintage buttons by QuenchMetalworks
3. Modern tree rings by FocusLineArt
4. Simplify by SimpleRoots
5. Slice oil painting on textured canvas by Teamzvonik

Take 10 Tuesday - some stuff you might have missed while you were out walking the dog or cutting the daffodils or whatever you have been doing

1. Why Worry Keeps You Poor over at The Launch Coach

2. Megan's post on Growing Your Business Beyond Etsy over at CraftMBA

3. The last few days of TeamEcoEtsy's Earth Day Auction for the World Wildlife Fund.

4. Pip Lincolne's post Fusty Beads and Cans of Worms over at Make and Meaning

5. The Top 5 Life Size LEGO Art Projects over at Inhabitots (check out the zoo animals)

6. The essential life skill of Toilet Paper Origami over at How About Orange

7. AWESOME Poster at Baltimore Print Studios

8. Seth's email checklist

9. Maybe DOVE is the only company that should be making commercials - see them HERE

10. The Kick The Door Down Project - Tara's story over at Scoutie Girl

GIVEAWAY - My Etsy Shop POLARITY - Personalized Locket Set


AND THE WINNER IS Chosen by Random.org
True Random Number Generator
Min: 1
Max: 624
Result:
114


SylviaLousieHandbags! - These sisters have a great blog and Etsy shop!

I haven't done a giveaway from one of my own shops since last year and I think it is about time!

For this week's giveaway I am offering a Polarity locket lollapalooza.

The complete Polarity jewelry set (necklace, bracelet and ring) personalized with your own pictures!

Polarity lockets are made from a recycled steel auto part that I solder into a gorgeous little piece of jewelry! Polarity is all about doing more with less. The magnetic lids are interchangeable, so one piece of jewelry turns into many!

WHAT YOU GET:

One lucky winner will receive a Polarity locket, bracelet and ring set with 5 PERSONALIZED lids and 1 lid with the definition of YOUR CHOICE!





HOW TO WIN:

This is an easy peasy one, just leave your contact info!

For additional entries:

(5) Follow my blog
(5) Twitter this post
(5) Blog about this contest; linking to this post

(5) Friend my facebook fan page or me

(I just joined Facebook and do not know how you do this, but if you are on there already maybe you do)

Let me know if you have done these things so I can give you additional entries. This contest is open to everyone.

DRAWING:

MIDNIGHT on Sunday, May 9th! Good luck!! CLOSED

FRIDAY FINDS - It's a GREEN World - Let's Keep it that Way - Have an Amazing Weekend!

Photobucket
1. jerry kott recycled wine vases
2. tumbleweed tiny house company
3. 1% for the planet
4. loyalloot log bowls
5. rodrigo alonso's shoes
6. bristol & bath drum sink
7. recycled cassette tape necktie
8. gas can luggage
9. love the ladies and ideas of junk market style
10. kotik design beer cap necklace
11. patagonia ditch the car t-shirt
12. upcycled terry cloth pig- made from towels from 50's and 60's
13. guitar case book shelf
14. big belly solar recycling cans

Another amazing stack by the incredible photog and stacker of all things stackable; Kella Macphee - check out her amazing pics from a NYC benefit she shot this week on her blog!

Earth Day Turns 40 Today - and TeamEcoEtsy is Having an Auction!

In celebration of Earth Day's 40th birthday, TeamEcoEtsy has some amazing goodie bags filled with all kinds of eco-goodies to be auctioned off for the World Widlife Fund!

The bags include Green Jewelry (both my lines are included here), Green Home, Green Baby, Green Paper Goods, Green Fashion and Green Health & Beauty.

Lots of amazing handmade, eco goodies and a wonderful cause!

Happy Earth Day everyone- enjoy our auction!







The World Wildlife Fund is an amazing organization supporting global preservation efforts - check out their website - there is oodles of great information there.

No Whining on Wednesday or why are people in Nevada searching for mosquito dunks and ending up here


As part of my SEO immersion I have been checking out (while watching American Idol) .. carefully studying .. my google analytics to see just what it is that I am saying that helps people find me on here.

(for anyone not familiar- google analytics is a service to see what kind of web traffic your website, blog, etc is getting, where that traffic is coming from and the kind of things that people are searching for when they find you)

So, although these search terms seem a bit strange, I am going to trust Google and the googlers and work these search phrases that people seem to have found me with into today's post in hopes of drawing even more traffic in here.


(traffic with credit cards and paypal accounts hopefully, because baby needs a new pair of shoes ...

<------ and by baby I mean me and by shoes I mean these Ciao Bella's - aren't they cuties?)


1. Squirrellicious - Actually this is an easy one because squirrellicious is a word I use alot ... really.

In fact, people who know me are all like that girl is totally squirrellicious.

(it could be a hair thing)

and there is a totally adorable Etsy shop called Squirrellicious

(coincidence? I think not, squirrelincidence? ...maybe)

2. The Race to Wear Plastic - Now this makes total sense because I have been in a race to figure out more ways to incorporate plastic into my wardrobe since I lost my Alice in Wonderland wrist watch in the 1st grade...

(on the playground during recess and my teacher Miss Rehak(?) refused to search my classmates pockets and lunchbags; a situation that left me crying and demanding a Nazi-like siege on the school grounds and fostered a growing distrust of authority figures and inability to work a wrist strap)

3. Ivins Reservoir Itch - I think I am just going to leave this one alone- I am not sure what the people at my local reservoir have been saying about me, but I can assure you that I only did this that one time and well ... I just don't want to talk about it.

4. Mosquito Dunks for Sale in Las Vegas - This is my favorite. I did do a blog post on mosquito dunks once and have probably mentioned Las Vegas

(although I've never been, but hear what happens there stays there, kind of like the fast food fries in my car that Olive just can't quite reach)

and I have almost certainly used the word 'sale' many, many times.

(as in hello- this is a sale, please buy something, baby really, really needs those shoes)

And I am certain the person in Nevada searching for those mosquito dunks was very happy to stumble in here and find some recycled jewelry he didn't even know he was needing.

Of course, there are also plenty of searches for more relevant things, but if I can draw 'em in here with Ivins Reservoir Itch and Squirrellicious and The Race to Wear Plastic and Mosquito Dunks for Sale in Las Vegas

(best to work these all in one more time)

then I think I can do pretty much anything, right?

**Special in both my shops Uncorked and Polarity for the next 10 days - just say one of these search phrases or something similar, no penalties if you say groundhoglicious or the race to wear aluminum foil- I'm just not that kind of seller

(unlike other businesses out there that ignore you if you don't cross every t and dot every i or actually mail in one of their entry forms- damn you Publisher's Clearing House)

in the comments to seller section of your order and receive a free set of earrings with any purchase**


1. Amazing ivy aid - natural poison ivy relief from B. Noel Aromatics
2. Stunning rainbow punk plastic necklace by DarklyngStudios
3. Fun toteBag by GoldieFawn
4. Beautiful red bird cardholder by Squirrellicious
5. Adorable mosquito card by SouthernPestPrints

Take 10 Tuesday - some great posts in case you missed them - lots of podcast action

1) CraftMBA's post Is Use the Best Form of Marketing (do you wear/use your own work?)

<---- 2) Lovin' Amalia's zippers on canvas!

3) 15 Marketing Tips to Remember by the Bakery

4) Art Marketing action podcast on Placing Older Art on Your Website

5) Kari Chapin (The Handmade Marketplace author) answers crafty business questions over at CraftyPod

6) Kim Tillyer has a great birthday giveaway on her blog for one of her amazing brooches!

7) How to Conduct Your Own Annual Review by Chris Guillebeau

I might have to fire myself now - this could be bad or good news

8. Getting Other People to Hate You at the Gapingvoid

9. The amazing Jessica Doyle's amazing videocast over on Elastic Lab.

10. The amazing Carmen Torbus rocks her video "interview" for the incredible ladies of Spring.

Sticks and Stones or how to stop being so sensitive that your teeth hurt


Now, sometimes I like to think that I write posts that are lessons I've learned and would like to pass on, but sometimes I think they are really just lessons for me.

(this could be ... is ... one of those times)

I am sometimes very thin-skinned. I know this about myself and it is something I am continually working on.

In my brain I can clearly see that everything is not all about me.

(except on this blog - which is why I have one, sort of)

I know that criticism is sometimes about the other person and sometimes something that I have only imagined and I know that very often it is not personal. I know all of this ... in my head.

But some other part of me gets ... well, hurt and often much more hurt than the situation requires.

In her book "The Highly Sensitive Person", Dr. Elaine Aron says that in evolutionary terms, being sensitive to criticism could be a lifesaver. "Back when we were hunter-gatherers, being excluded from the group was very dangerous. We might have starved or even gone insane from being ostracized. We are very social animals."

(now, I have never thought of myself as any kind of social animal, but I guess it is in my DNA and I will gladly blame my ancestors ... adding sensitivity to the list that includes bad hair and mild OCD)

Our sensitivity to the negative opinions of others is so strong, she says, that we record these emotional wounds in the same part of the brain as actual physical pain.

Now there is some good news here because sensitivity to other people's opinions of us (and brooding and smarting over inconsequentials) is the most adjustable type of sensitivity and I am determined to adjust mine.

(and of course this sensitivity means these are things that I actually care about ... deeply. If someone were to insult my housekeeping skills or singing voice - both pretty bad - I could shrug those things off in a second, but insult the things that matter and watch out)

So here's my gameplan:

1. Rewrite my mornings. I usually hop on the computer as soon as I am alone in the house, but this immediately opens me up to external things- sometimes good, but sometimes not so good; an email from a customer that she accidentally gave me the wrong shipping address ... to Australia ... for a 3 piece uninsured order that left my house the day before - can get me off to a rocking bad start.

But if I take some time for me first, before I open myself up to all that external stuff, I will be better able to separate the problem (if there is one) from myself. So from now on - a morning coffee, stretching and shower before I let the outside world in.

2. Clear things up right away. If something feels strange or out of balance, I will check in with the other person right away. How many times do we think we know what the other person is thinking and when we finally talk it out- we were way wrong about what was really going on.


3. Be ready to move on. Putting all our eggs in one basket is a good way to ensure we will take the outcome personally.

(good when things go our way and bad when they don't, but really always bad because it puts our emotions and happiness and stress level under the control of someone else)

I was turned down last week for a show I was really counting on ... looking forward to ... because "they were full with jewelry" and of course, being an insanely sensitive person I took this to mean "we don't like your work" when what they probably really meant was "they were full with jewelry".

Next time, I will have a list of other options available. I will move on down my list if someone says no. I will find that something else that is waiting for me.

4. Get enough sleep. I am much more sensitive when sleep deprived and stressed.

5. Give myself permission to zap 'em once in a while. I will keep a few zingers in my arsenal because sensitivity can be a strength also and it is often the sensitive people who say exactly the right thing.

(I think)

things such as - "Excuse me?"

(now this must be said very calmly and with a straight face as if we really do not understand what we just heard)

Asking someone to repeat a thoughtless comment is a graceful way to make them think twice about what they just said ... and maybe rephrase it if we have misunderstood.

"I wonder why you would say that"

The kinder gentler version of "what the hell does that mean?" challenges the person to reflect on his/her motives.

"Ouch! That hurt my feelings."

This lets someone know we've taken a comment personally

but I will use my zingers carefully and for the big things and learn to let the small things slide.

5. Keep things in perspective - who we are becoming on this journey of ours is much more important than what happens to us.

When we get beyond taking things personally and allow ourselves to choose a different way to respond, we will become more and more unflappable and happy.

At least, this is my plan, I'll keep you posted ...

(no stopping ever poster by EvenAndy)

Friday Finds - Some Etsy Goodness to get your weekend started

Photobucket

1. squirrellicious fish pouch
2. better than jam dress
3. lemkab leather necklaces
4. polaroid camera drawing by cb78
5. tovie corrie cuff
6. peace 4 you upcycled satchel
7. celentano woodworks avocado guitar
8. english dept giselle dress
9. print by holli
10. rini and faith headband
11. vintage sign from hindsvik
12. eight seasons wristlet
13. amy miwen custom painted vans
14. jane mount painting of your bookshelf

Another weekly stack by the amazing stacker and photog Kella MacPhee.

Thoughtful Thursday - spending money on what is important to us


"The new trend in spending money is to buy things that are painstakingly hand built instead of efficiently mass produced.

It might not be a better price than what you could buy at Target, but the very fact that you can pay for an artisan to create it, an artist to design it, a talented worker to bring it to life - that act makes a powerful statement about what you can afford and what's important to you.

Instead of a bigger house, it's a house that's built from scratch by craftsmen.

Instead of a bigger steak, it's a handmade dish of local poached vegetables..."

If you are making a living making things this is a pretty exciting conversation and if you are a human being concerned with the conspicuous consumption of consumer goods it is a conversation worth celebrating.

Conversation by Seth Godin, Letterpress by StarShapedPress

Whining Wednesday - a few things that are freaking me out this week


I know I decided to turn Whining Wednesdays into No Whining on Wednesdays and I have been good for the last few weeks, but every now and then we all need to whine

(just a little)

freak out #1) Hubby reading in the bathroom. This really, really bugs me. And I haven't blogged about him in a long time

(at least a week)

but this has gotten so out of control.

I am constantly finding strange things in the bathroom - like flashlights and drill bits and unopened mail

(I know this has nothing to do with reading, but these things freak me out, too)

and I am totally yucked out when I find a book in the bathroom. I mean, is it just me, or should nothing be in the bathroom that doesn't belong there.



this is how it starts folks -------->


Soon George will be taking the book into the restroom at the library before bringing it home so he can test it out; see how it feels on his lap, how well it rests on the back of the toilet tank, etc.

This so freaks me out

(of course, this does not apply to bathtubs or parents escaping their children- both valid "book in the bathroom" scenarios)

freak out #2) Amazon - Remember when Amazon was the internet's go to place for books, music, and movies?

Then they somehow collaborated with every other website ever created and now you can also purchase wholesale servings of organic juice drinks, a dog sled, a 200 pound drillpress, my own cemetery plot under a shady tree in Nevada and frankly, I don't like seeing those items as suggested purchases next to my shopping cart with my Snowdogs II Anniversary Edition DVD in there.

(Olive claims to be a big fan of Cuba Gooding, Jr although I suspect she has a little crush on snowdog number one)

freak out #3) That Tiger Woods talking listening to his dad Nike ad (ala Hamlet?). I have read this advertising called brilliant branding. I am just calling it C-R-E-E-P-Y.

(remember when Nike had that great ad with all the little girl babies throwing off their pink nursery caps- what the hell has happened to them?)

freak out #4)
- An 11 year old girl super hero (YAY), but wait a minute, an 11 year old girl super hero who uses the "c" word (not so YAY) - I don't think I am a prude

(in fact some of the reviewers of this movie want me to feel like a prude for objecting, but I object anyway)

if women let this word become acceptable and part of normal conversation I resign from my race, really truly .... let's boycott this movie - I'm not even going to say its name.

freak out #5) SEO - I have immersed myself in this stuff over the past few days, so I can pass all the wisdom I have accumulated on to you guys next week

(and maybe sell a few things)

"So is it all about the Benjamins, baby?" you may be asking yourself

(because in my head you all talk like P. Diddy)

and yes, it kind of is, actually....

and speaking of immersing myself (freak out #6) I did take a break this morning from my SEO education to liberally baste my face with some new organic skin care products, because I think this is something I need to start thinking about and because I really don't want to be able to use the folds of my face as a coin purse anytime soon.

I realize someday this is going to happen and I will probably be happy to have the extra storage space, but for now I still have a couple empty shelves in my pantry...

Now here's where I insert the disclaimer that I have been advised by my sister (who moved to Portland, Oregon a few years ago) that people on the west coast consider "freaking" a bad word, as if it were the real "f" word (and yes, I think the "c" word is way worse than the "f" word) that we use all the time here on the east coast and no one bats an eyelash.

She claims that when she says "freaking" to people they look at her as if she said something really bad, so she has stopped saying it.

(she is back to using the real "f" word and giving them the finger)

So, if you are a west coaster and this word is like fingernails on a chalkboard to you, I freaking apologize, sincerely. And if you are a west coaster and think my sister is freaking crazy let me know that, too (I think she is actually saying frigging, which is gross actually).


1. Calming and Clarifying Facial Cream by DressGreen
2. Reading photography by A Life Through the Lens
3. Freak Out and Throw Stuff notebook by Earmark
4. Eager Husky print by ToxicGuineaPigs
5. Toilet Paper on your Neck by LiciaBeads

Take Ten Tuesday - Great Links for Craft Fair Tips and Tricks for Your Crafty Biz!


If the spring and summer plans for your crafty business include a craft show or two here are some great links you don't want to miss:

1. My own post on Selling the Benefits of Your Work

2. Indie Craft Shows Beginners Guide to Craft Shows

3. Booth Layout at a Craft Show from the Craft Report

4. Craft Show Applications Unraveled from the Etsy blog the Storque

5. Craft Fair Tips from the Etsy blog the Storque

6. Craft Show Checklist (what to bring) from Badskirt

7. Craft Show Display pics on Flickr

8. 119 Places to Find a Craft Show by Sunshine Glassworks

List of craft shows from Sunshine Artist

Indie Craft Fair Guide

9. Great Tips from Indie Craft Shows

10. More tips from Craft Show Tips

(Picture of Petit Collage's amazing display at Renegade)