The Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent

So, anyhoo, lots of new stuff to report tonight before I am off to drown my sorrows in great quantities of aspirin or liquor.

First of all, I hired myself an intern (I just love that word so much) and she started today.

(note the word hired which means some money is changing hands and note the word intern which means not much money)

She has a very vague job description which I thought up late last night and wrote on the back of an M&M's wrapper.

(yes, the new coconut ones- not sure what I think of them yet- need to get another bag before commenting since hubby ate most of them and yes, I wanted to recycle that wrapper even if it meant gumming my pen up with melted chocolate)

Before you get all happy for me (or a little bit jealous) let me just say that she is in high school (pre-driving age) and she is working for me one day a week (the day I have enough accounts and money coming in to actually hire an adult person with a driver's license is probably the day I will be run over by my distracted UPS driver).

Nina's (name has been changed to protect the innocent) first day left me with a little bit of a headache (okay quite a bit of a headache) partly because I am not used to teenage conversation or any conversation that doesn't involve a keyboard really and I somehow managed to hire the one teenage girl on the face of the planet who did not read Twilight (what the heck am I going to talk to her about) and the one teenage girl (I hope) with a crush on ... David Caruso (red head CSI)!

(I will definitely be taking action on this one- this is way too scary to allow to continue- I may even have to involve her parents)

After she left (ie after I drove her home) I had a semi-new neighbor drop by to introduce me to her newest guy and since I am feeling a bit motherly to this new neighbor for some reason, I managed to pepper her guy with 20 questions without ever leaving my front porch.

"Are you married?", "No".
"Do you have a job?", "Yes." then he added "with benefits".

(impressing me by anticipating my next question- this was obviously a guy who could think on his feet)

"Do you like dogs?" "Sure"
"Great because Tina (name has been changed to protect the innocent) has a dog."

(I do have a few more social skills than this scenario suggests and didn't really fire off these questions quite so randomly ... but almost)

"Where do you live?"
"I live in my van." *points to van in my driveaway*

(note this is not a Volkswagen, hippie, heading to a Phish show kind of van- which would only be a tiny bit better anyway- this was more of a mom heading to soccer practice with three cranky kids kind of van)

So anyhoos, as you can imagine I can't remember anything past this point because I pretty much stopped processing and my itty bitty headache has grown into something with a life of its own which I am now calling Nina/Tina (name changed to protect the innocent) and swallowing large quantities of aspirin and water (well, it is the color of water) to drown ....

(on the bright side the weather today was amazing)
1. Relief Soy Candle by OffBeet
2. Crochet Necklace by LovelyCrochet
3. Storyville Lace Top by BayouSalvage
4. Sunbather Cufflinks by PosyStudio
5. Keep on Truckin by fstopinertia

A Little August Hump Day Honey

It has been quite hot here, but how can we complain when it is August

(never stopped us before)

and we are finding all these amazing little stunners out there that will make us want to sing!

(well... not me though - I was the only girl in my entire 4th grade to not make the chorus- the teacher told me I could join if I just mouthed the words- probably exactly what happened to Milli Vanilli in 4th grade)


If Amalia Versaci does one more amazing thing with a vintage zipper I am going to need to be zipped into my very own straight jacket (check out these magnets!)



Zelaya's amazing appliqued wrap is total gorgeousness.




Why are we trading in our gas guzzlers when we can turn them into farms? Have you seen the Farm Truck? A little project of some eco-filmmakers in Brooklyn to promote awareness of small space farming- love it!



Who could resist these little yummy lollipop-pies from Luxirare?



OK, how flippin' clever is this - a set of lids by designer Jack Bresnahan that turns our used tin cans into almost everything!



Jennifer Gordon, the creator of the indie comic book Stiletto Heights has totally amazing prints available in her Etsy shop and she has a locket!




Cool clutches made from used skateboards from Beck(y).



And finally, Wonderlust (what a great name!) has me lusting over their amazing bunting!

Awesome GoshDarnKnit Lunch Bag Giveaway ENDED

And the winner is Jenn Erwin! Congrats Jenn! Number 113 out of 428 chosen by random.org - thank you so much to everyone who entered!

Shoofly is the amazing Etsy shop of GoshDarnKnit artist Rania Hassan.

Rania is a graphic designer, painter and illustrator. She makes amazing notebooks, lunch bags and the most fabulously stunning knitted wall art!

Rania was born in NYC and since studying graphic design at the American University of Beirut she has worked as an art director for Leo Burnett, the United Nations, The Shakespeare Theatre and The White House. Rania now calls Washington, DC home.


WHAT YOU GET:
One lucky winner will receive one of Shoofly's amazingly awesome Knit Buddies Re-Usable Neoprene & Velcro Lunch Bag in Grey!






HOW TO WIN:
This is another easy, peasy one for summer- just leave a comment below with your contact information

For additional entries:

(5) Follow my blog
(5) Twitter this post
(5) Blog about this contest; linking to this post

Let me know if you have done these things so I can give you additional entries. This contest is open to everyone (worldwide shipping).

DRAWING:

MIDNIGHT on Sunday, August 9th!

A Krylon Crystal Clear Gloss Nightmare

I never buy anything anymore without thinking about what I am going to do with the package after I have used the product.

In my work I also have to think about that little bit of glue or glaze left in the bottom of the plastic container and is my can of Krylon gloss really empty. I wish I didn't need to work with this stuff, but for now I do and I need to know how to dispose of the leftover product and packaging responsibly.

My hazardous waste disposal site requires a phone call and an appointment.

You pull your car into this little garage-thingie and you do not leave your car, in fact if you try to get out of your car, the hazardous waste guys will bark at you to, "STAY IN YOUR CAR". It feels like one of those end of the world movies where they think you are infected and you are trapped with the guys in the hazmat suits.

hazardous waste guy - "this can is empty - you do not have to bring in empty aerosol cans"

me - "how do I really know this can is empty. what if some toxic chemicals are clinging to the can's belly just waiting to run amok all over the recycling plant"

hazardous waste guy - *presses spray nozzle* nothing happens "this can is empty"

me - "is there some kind of gizmo that you can use to make sure because I really don't want this can to explode or leak or cause any damage - other than to my own respiratory and central nervous system, of course"

hazardous waste guy - *crickets*

guy in car behind me - "COME ON!", "LET'S GO!" (there is probably a middle finger being used in this tirade, but I don't turn around to check)

hazardous waste guy - *hands me can*

So... I head down to the recycling drop off center and start asking those guys (this is mostly a community service run outfit - get a DWI or want to get some points shaved off your driving record and this is where you will end up) who tell me if I am worried about recycling it, just to throw the empty can away (throw the potentially acetone, butane and propane contaminated can away!).

I take my cans (yes, I actually have about 20 "empty" cans to dispose of, but I thought it would make a better story to kind of picture me driving around with just that one can) back home and call the place where the recycling actually ends up and talk to them. They assure me I can recycle the cans if nothing comes out when the nozzle is pressed (good news). They also fax me some recycling info that I find a bit troubling, but more on that some other day.

So, I go back to the recycling drop off center with my cans promising myself that I will find a solution to Krylon crystal clear gloss. Maybe the guys on Etsy who are turning them into lamps would take them off my hands ...


1. Krylon Spray Paint Lamp by BBlock
2. Spray Paint Can Coasters by JennerationFix
3. City Sculpture on a Krylon Aerosol Can by EastBayCalifornia
4. ScorpBlast Hoodie by Beta
5. Can Down by Dezignerd

Over the Hump Day Honey

Here's a few Thursday goodies that will get your creative juices flowing AND XauXau is having a wonderful giveaway on her blog that you just have to enter AND Jess Gonacha is getting married (like right now) - YIPPEE - so there is alot going on this week!

Also I should mention the thermometer registered 112 degrees in the unairconditioned shop where I solder yesterday, so you can sort of imagine the horror of that.

I should also mention that when I told Alise of XauXau that I could only mention her giveaway if it was NOT her body in those amazing crochet bikinis she sells (yes, I am exactly that kind of girl) - she could not understand why I would say this which tells me that 1. She is very, very nice and 2. That is her body in those bikinis (although she denies this) *sigh*




Anika Mari's sewn leaves



Sophy Robson's gradient nails - love this idea (haven't polished in years)



Urban Outfitters Chunky necklaces - think big with your fall designs



Rebecca Taylor's fall line - awesomeness


Peppermint Daydreams AMAZING illustrations and she has a locket




Coveting a new bike bag (which is literally putting the cart before the horse since Sherry Truitt's post on 4 bikes per person in her household has me thinking I need at least one that isn't a rusty heap) - aren't these bags just pure awesomeness? Purpurin Bike Bags, DNTX Bike Bags, Swiss Army Bike Bags by SHMattson and BoneShakerBags.

Tuesday Confessional

* I have way too much Nickelback on my IPod

* I tried out the new Sonic drive thru without telling anyone (and ordered and ate something really huge and nasty and kinda yummy)

* There is something in my car that smells really bad (this may or may not be connected to my secret trip to Sonic)

* I really want curly hair (I still have nightmares of my middle school home Toni perm but this may not stop me)

* I sometimes complain about who/what Etsy chooses to feature
(unless it's me and I sell 2 corkboards overnight)

* I am very worried that Obama called healthcare for everyone "radical"

* My aunt turns 80 today and her sister is even older and sometimes it pisses me off that their other sister, their much younger sister (my mom), died so young and they get to grow old

* I am way too old to like the Twilight books as much I did

Tuesday Confessional Special - Buy a necklace from either of my shops Uncorked or Polarity and get a FREE pair of matching earrings:

Just confess a little something in the comments to seller section of your order. I'm very good at keeping secrets (I think I have covered this before) and won't tell anyone. Offer thru August 1st.

Awesome 2ReVert Keychain Giveaway CLOSED

AND THE WINNER IS - The Lost Earring and she happens to have an amazing Etsy shop- so check it out. Chosen my random number gerenator 1-125 = # 23!

2ReVert is the amazing husband and wife team of Jann and Jeff from Nova Scotia who ask, "Do you know where your jewelry has been?".

They make the most amazing jewelry and houseware items from recycled skateboards!

2ReVert jewelry pieces are all totally unique! So check out their amazing shop- I have a beautiful pair of their earrings and they are lightweight and awesome!

When they get a new skateboard to recycle, they are thrilled. Jann is always wondering who rode the skateboard and where the boards went... did they get carried around school, did they go on trips ... what about the writing on them. Jeff always looks for the colored layers ... where are they in the board, what colors are there, what will he create ...

WHAT YOU GET:
One lucky winner will receive one green and black recycled skateboard keychain handmade by 2ReVert in Nova Scotia!



HOW TO WIN:
This one is easy, peasy - just leave a comment below with your contact information

For additional entries:

(5) Follow my blog
(5) Twitter this post
(5) Blog about this contest; linking to this post

Let me know if you have done these things so I can give you additional entries. This contest is open to everyone (worldwide shipping).

DRAWING:

MIDNIGHT on Sunday, August 2nd!