more stuff I learned in 2012 ... the list goes on and on ....

poster from totally old school

2012 kicked my butt.

My mood right now is "BRING IT ON 2013!" - but this changes hourly - 60 minutes ago it was more like - BRING ... me a hot chocolate and my snugli ... (mommy? sniffle)

I really want to finish this countdown before Dick Clark does his ... is Dick Clark still doing that?!

And yes, I think I have lost lessons 8 and 9 somehow - we will just pretend they were highly personal and emotional lessons that I just can't bring myself to write about - instead of admitting that I just can't count.

#6 - Mental illness sucks. It is not something we deal with well in this country (maybe this is true everywhere).

David lived with us off and on (mostly on) for 8 months in 2012 - we were never able to get him on medication although he was having major psychotic symptoms and episodes.

Finally after a particularly bad episode that ended with him in jail for a long period he was accepted into a program to help keep people from returning to jail. They were able to get him on an anti-psychotic monthly shot (which costs $800 per month - he has 2 left before his samples run out) and into a new program and temporary housing (4 months before his money runs out).

Unfortunately the shot that helps with the voices also makes him aggressive and even more difficult at times. He continues to drink. Schizophrenia is a nightmare; so is alcoholism.

David was our first 2012 hurricane - he blew in and out of our lives and changed us forever and we are totally grateful.

#5 - We are totally unprepared to live without electricity. Hubs and I have been kidding ourselves for years about being somewhat self-sufficient - we're not.

On the other hand I have no interest in being a survivalist - if the world winds down to a handful of people wandering the planet, fending off hoards of hungry animals and killing each other for acorns - I would be totally happy not being one of them.

#4 - I need more downtime; more time to do things unconnected with business. I am going to make this happen. When we had regular jobs we had weekends and even though our weekends now may not always fall on Saturday and Sunday - we still need week ends (a time when our week ends).

#3 - I need to figure out this diet, hormone, environment, eczema, sleep, dry eye, nerve, memory thing - enuf said.

#2 - Now is the time  - I truly believe the old world is ending. Our planet has moved on. Maybe this is what it felt like as the dark ages moved into the renaissance - like things were falling apart or things were coming together and it all depended on how we looked at things - except it's even bigger this time because the stakes are so much higher.

We are the luckiest beings in the universe to get to experience this.

There won't be a guru or messiah coming to get us out of this mess (this is why Obama often disappoints us - he's a catalyst not a savior - he is just mirroring ourselves back to us) - the Hopi were right - we are the ones we have been waiting for.

We have to do the work ourselves - this can only happen by walking the path of conscious choice - discernment, non-judgement, non-attachment to outcomes and detaching from our stories. First step - a meditation practice if we don't have one. Deborah King's is one of my favorites.

# 1 - I am awake now.

And yes, some days I wish I was still snoozing, but we can't unknow what we know and yes, once we know better we do better and yes, to whom much has been given much is expected and yes, nothing about this is easy. It is simple though. Hard but simple. We can do this. Artists and creators (which is everyone actually) have to.

banner by remembered times

Bye Bye 2012 - the countdown continues ...

print by tammy olsen

# 7 Lesson Learned in 2012 - Releasing Attachment to An Outcome (or time to toss the vision boards)

Now I admit that just because I learned a lesson doesn't mean this isn't a process - nothing is so black and white these days for any of us.

This isn't 3rd grade where our times tables were burned into our brains

(except 7X8 - why do I always have to think about that one and by "think" I mean add 7 to 49 ... with my fingers)

things are much more fluid now.

Maybe lesson #7 next year will scream - BRING BACK THE VISION BOARD! Maybe not.

I am trusting now that life has bigger plans for us, bigger dreams than we can wrap our arms around right now - stuff we can't see yet because maybe there are still a few twists and turns in the road ahead.

This isn't about not setting any goals (well maybe it is in some ways) but about making the goals more about how I want to feel than where I want to be or what I want to happen (which has always felt a little like spiritual manipulation ala the secret) -

I will trust that if I just choose joy in the moment I will bring more joy into my life. If I choose more abundance in the moment (yes, I'm buying the damn blueberries even when they are $3.49 a pint!) I will bring more abundance into my life - I don't need to dictate how that abundance will be delivered.

I will take a lesson from my 3 year old niece Elise - who when bike riding on a windy day and told she needed a hat said, "I don't need a hat. I need a pin wheel."

I will make myself a pinwheel. Hell, I'll make myself a whole basket-full of them.

The 2012 Bye-Bye Countdown Continues ...

fancy that design house print

I am glad to shut the door on 2012.

(don't let it hit ya' on the way out 2012!)

I admit I secretly hoped we would all wake up on 12/22 totally enlightened and fifth dimensional and living on a conscious, peaceful planet and we did to some extent,
but I wanted more -

I wanted a lot more.

In my own life the crazy stressful holiday work time (I make about 35% of my annual income in about 6 weeks) was bookended by the two Sandy tragedies - the first a hurricane that swept away so much and left us holding on to what we came to realize was most important; the second a much greater tragedy that brought what really matters into even crisper focus and all of us to our knees.

(in 2013 we have 3 mercury retrogrades in water signs so the theme of wet weather will continue as well as the water themes of children and childhood  - of feelings - do you like how you feel, are you being well-used - and compassion - there will be a grand trine in July that could see a huge surge in compassion on our planet next summer and yes, compassion often comes out of loss and need - so there may be challenges ahead)

Anyhoo, I have been thinking a lot lately about what to do with this blog. It is going in a lot of different directions and I would really like to give it a stronger focus.

In the meantime I'll continue counting down some 2012 lessons and see what this brings up.

Lesson # 9 - Having less to work with requires us to be more creative

When I opened my shop Uncorked on Etsy 5 years ago I had one product - a test tube cork necklace. I picked the name Uncorked because ... well, mostly because it had the word cork in it, I guess.

(plus I didn't have Olive for a couple months and my studio name was still Dream Scenes from my old work and that didn't fit anymore and I was tired of it)

There are lots of reasons why Uncorked is a terrible shop name but luckily none of them occurred to me at the time because having that name forced me to work with just that one material to grow the shop.

Restricting the material I worked with allowed all the amazing work to flow through me - it forced me to be more creative.

This is just one example of how having less to work with enables more creativity - we knew this as kids and parents instinctively know that when we give our kids too much their creativity is hampered.

This restriction definitely doesn't have to be about the materials we work with, but if we find our creativity stifled or ourselves overwhelmed with all the possibilities - some self-imposed restrictions can be a real benefit.