just because she's beautiful doesn't mean you aren't - part IV - the I should be doing "more" syndrome & women who wear purple

she's probably in here somewhere

See Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3

(yes, if you are reading this in one sitting, you will need a cup of coffee ... and a muffin ... and maybe probably an aspirin)

I thought I was doing pretty good re-languaging my life when we went out to dinner for my daughter's birthday last week and half way through the meal my daughter said I was driving her crazy (in the way only a mother can do) by repeatedly saying "that's not bad" every time I ate something new.

You might remember from my last post this was exactly the kind of language I have been trying to avoid! Ugh!

I thought ditching the "n'ts" when I was saying something positive would fix this - I did keep myself from saying "this isn't bad".

I said the exact same thing in a different way though.

I guess it's a challenge for me to say, "this is good", or great or delicious without consciously pushing my tongue to use positive language. When I stay unconscious with my language I just naturally want to go the other way. I can see my rules need to be expanded and I am an Aquarian with a Scorpio rising (plus an oldest child and tone deaf singer). I really hate rules.

(and now that I have written this I can see clearly how my rule making is negative, too - always about what not to do - see how this stuff works? - it is deep and tricky - it's like I have swallowed a whining David Blayne.)

This series is not about negative language and this is all subconscious stuff although I do think this way of going through life makes us more prone to a scarcity mindset. It doesn't matter which comes first or what creates what with this stuff - I do know we can often change something by changing something else.

I attended an astrology class years ago and one of the other students was always complaining about work. She loved her job but her relationship with her co-workers was a mess. I can't remember the specifics. I do remember this woman always wore purple. Maybe just this one thing was enough to annoy the hell out of people. I don't know. Totally possible.

One day the teacher turned to her and said, "Enough already about your co-workers. Get a dog". Now this teacher was a master astrologer and enough of a guru to this woman for her to immediately head to the nearest shelter and pick herself out a beautiful blue eyed Akita mix.

Within days her relationship with her co-workers had greatly improved (pets and work are both 6th house in astrology - as well as health, routine, etc -  so a problem with one often can be fixed with attention on another). She even started to join her office mates on their long Wednesday lunches, something she always griped about before. She thanked the teacher for his wisdom.

We noticed over the next few weeks she never complained about work anymore. She complained about her dog all the time though. This woman had Aries in the 6th house and Aries needs an adversary. I am not sure if an adversary who pees on the carpet is better than one who sits next to you in a cubicle, maybe she could have just joined a gym and fought with the treadmill .... changing something by changing something else works though.

I don't think negative feelings that come up after seeing someone else's bright shiny new thing is about jealousy. I don't want anyone else's life. My life is pretty freaking amazing. I just know after seeing some of this stuff I don't feel so great.

For me, it creates the "I should be doing more" syndrome. For example my Facebook friend who is always on vacation has me thinking "why haven't I created a business that can run without me so I can be laying on the beach somewhere warm and tropical while lockets and cork continue to fly across the country and into my customer's waiting hands and mailboxes." I feel like what I am doing isn't enough because I actually have to do it. What kind of ridiculous thinking is this? We can't win this game.

I will tell you my next two steps in my final post next week. The pie really does have an infinite number of slices - there really is enough for all of us.

xo and happy weekend all

NOTE - We have a New Moon in Scorpio next week (I will post about it then) - it's an eclipse and at 0 degrees Scorpio - a 0 degree eclipse in the complex sign of Scorpio is a true new beginning. Stuff we have been trying for could now line up for us. Mercury will move direct two days later and we will know what to do. Get ready.

We are heading into Scorpio season - shop for a Scorpio locket necklace for your favorite Scorpio and get a FREE extra lid set now.

FULL MOON Lunar Eclipse in Aries October 8th - relating to other people without losing ourselves

you at last by meluseena

A lunar eclipse occurs when the Sun, Earth and Full Moon form a nearly straight line and the Moon passes through the Earth's shadow. We don't need any special gizmos to view it and it won't hurt our eyes like a solar eclipse, so we can feel free to go outside and get a really good look! The lunar eclipse is from about 6:30-7:30 AM EST tomorrow morning.

An eclipse is powerful stuff. It will eclipse something out of our life or out of our way.

Some people may have felt the effects of this around September 8th-10th or will feel it around November 8th-10th; most people will feel it within 5 days of the actual eclipse.

This Full Moon is in Aries and is the culmination of that monster New Moon we had in April with that bad-ass Grand Cardinal Cross. Aries is the sign of the warrier (and the worrier) so there is no sitting this one out.

Just before the Full Moon, the Moon will square Pluto and conjunct Uranus setting off a Uranus/Pluto square. This is the energy that creates big changes.

Pluto in Capricorn will be squaring Venus in Libra. This feels very possessive - we want what we want with this one. What will we do to get it? What if we finally get clear that what we want is not what we thought we wanted at all .... well, I guess we are going to find out.

This eclipse energy is about opportunity. 

This is the Aries/Libra polarity (which is more than a locket - warning shameless plug ahead - but the locket is pretty awesome, too) of independence vs. interdependence, how we give, how we take, how we relate to other people without losing ourselves, what flock we are flying with these days and of course our closest relationships.

We've got Mars in Sagittarius wanting us to move into new territory and take action with something foreign to us (maybe spirituality or travel or higher education or people from another country or distant relatives or grandchildren) and we have Jupiter in Leo aspecting the Sun and highlighting something expansive that gives us purpose and is something we can be proud of.

These may be the means we use to move through this - "me vs. us", "assertion vs. compromise" stuff - everything we see played out in the larger world is happening in our own lives and heads, too. We probably won't be able to sit on our feelings right now (try to keep a cool head though) or the sidelines either. And we won't want to!

If something in our life is doing the opposite of this - that could be the stuff that will make way now.

If it seems like really good and important stuff is being eclipsed out - relook (Mercury is retrograde the "re's" rule now) at the situation - we may be able to see the honor in the timing of this passing away and the gift left in its wake.

Here's to clear skies and long walks in the moonlight tonight and tomorrow night everyone! xo

just because she's beautiful doesn't mean you aren't - part III - re-learning clear speech & Mercury Retrograde

 

Mercury is retrograde. We are in the season of "re" now.

(redo, reconnect, rethink, repeat, revise, redesign, recuperate, repair - you get the idea)

It is the perfect time for big universal energetic support to re-language our thoughts and conversations to dismantle our negative talk and limiting beliefs which I am convinced are at the root of the scarcity mentality that creates so much pain in the world (at least my world!).

See Part I HERE
See Part II HERE

Limiting beliefs are the thoughts, stories and 'spells' (more on spells a bit later in these posts) that we invite, through our own words, into the deepest spaces inside us and sometimes expel out into the world as conversation that inhibit our potential and limit the choices we make in our life.

For most of us, there is less question about whether or not our words are powerful as there is about how to best use this power to improve our world.

I have always loved anagrams and cryto-quotes and similar kinds of word puzzles. I had a bit of an obsession with them as a kid actually - also mythology, astrology and Rumi.

(And yes, all these things will work there way into this series. I was also obsessed with my metal wheeled roller skates, Ellen O'Neal and Tiger Beat magazine - luckily for you, dear reader, I will leave them out of this one.)

Words are powerful.

I love how "word" and "lord" can be combined to create "world". And "uni" meaning one and "verse" meaning word or poem or song makes "universe". And a spell is a s-p-e-l-l.

And dog is God spelled backwards (maybe especially that one).

You might be familiar with the Bible story of the Tower of Babel - which is the story of God's displeasure at humankind's progress after the great flood. Everyone speaking the same language and working together meant soon nothing would be out of humankind's reach. This worried God so much that he scattered everyone all over the planet and changed their one language into many as a way to dis-empower everyone.

One nugget to take from this story is that Babel babble = dis-empowerment. This is the same story we work through every Mercury Retrograde. Mercury is the God of communication. We honor Mercury when we speak our truth, when we think through our thoughts before we say our words, when we say more and talk less.We dishonor Mercury when we babble. We also dis-empower ourselves.

So, the first step in my "Mercury Retrograde re-languaging, limiting belief busting, scarcity thinking mindset dismantling practice" is to eliminate the word "want" from my vocabulary, yes in all situations.

Want isn't the step before have. 

Want is the opposite of have. 

This is important. 

And I don't mean this in a "The Secret" kind of way. I mean this in a mindful language - say what we mean because what we say matters - kind of way.

We have heard this all before - how saying want keeps us in a state of wanting, but what it actually does is keep us in a state of not having.

I started this last week. I would never have believed how often I use the word 'want' - just changing this one thing has my head spinning.

I am also eliminating the 'nts when I mean yes. For example by saying things like "doesn't it taste good? isn't it great? didn't you love it? wouldn't you like one?" - I don't use negatives often in this way. I have caught myself a couple times though. These sentences should be "does it taste good? is it great? did you love it? would you like one?". Also eliminating the word "but" which we all know negates everything that comes before it.

So, the first step in our re-languaging this Mercury Retrograde season (which lasts for 3 weeks and is just enough time to establish this practice as habit)- eliminate the word "want" in all forms - substitute "desire" or "choose" or change the sentence around entirely to make it more powerful and eliminate babble.

For example - I just caught myself saying - "I want to be alive to dance at Sully's wedding." I did a quick mental CANCEL (gently imagined myself hitting the keyboard delete key) and then said "I will love to be alive to dance at Sully's wedding!".

I also said, "I want the tiramisu" and then re-languaged it to, "I'll have the tiramisu."

step 2 - eliminate "but" in all forms. Use "and" or form a new sentence.
step 3 - eliminate the shortened version of not "n't" when we are not saying not. (got it?!)

Up Next in Part III - just because she's beautiful doesn't mean you aren't - speaking our reality, why this stuff matters

just because she's beautiful doesn't mean you aren't - part II - scarcity thinking

Part I is HERE.

We live in a world where everyone's "bright shiny new thing" that is happening to them is visible to us. We have always sort of lived in this world, our world is just a whole lot bigger now (or smaller depending on how you look at it), so there are a lot more bright, shiny new things to see.

When we were kids and the neighbors got a new car, everyone probably hopped in for a ride and then we walked home with parents wondering aloud if the Browns could really afford that. Or maybe, if we were lucky, we walked home with parents excited for their friends' good fortune.

I want to be the person excited for everyone else's good fortune.

(and yes, I know as soon as I write this, life will offer me the opportunity to learn how to do this through practice by providing some really great fortune to someone I know - I hope it is YOU - please buy a lottery ticket and ... remember your friend Cat from Jersey)

I don't want to be the person grumbling to myself about how someone could be on vacation again. But I am. The grumbler, I mean. I want need to stop.

And yes, I know that everything isn't as wonderful as it seems in Facebook land and other public places. I realize I cannot be comparing my inside to someone else's outside unless I am determined to come up short (my inside is probably a rather messy place after all).

But there is some kind of scarcity mindset at play here.

I truly know we either live in a world of lack or a world of abundance and we get to live in the world we believe we live in. Yup, it's as simple as that.

I know this. It doesn't always stop the grumbles though.

(although a slice of pizza might - giving up dairy is making me batshit crazy folks)

The topic of scarcity interests me because I never feel as if I have enough time.

I know this is just something I believe. I also know this is not an absolute truth. It is just something that I have made true for me. I am determined to un-make it.

I'm busy, You're busy. We're all busy. Some people though are still creating time for hobbies and vacations and to get their car registered online before it's too late and they have to waste half a day at the DMV and they find the time to pay their credit card before the $35 late fee kicks in and to get to a freakin' dentist.

Psychological research has shown that when we experience emotional deprivation in childhood, this feeling of not being important or lovable enough can persist into adulthood as a “deprivation mindset.”

(since I am a student of evolutionary astrology I am not so quick to blame our childhood, since I believe we pretty much magnetized ourselves into exactly the situation we not only needed to be in, but that we were already a match for)

We may never feel as if we have enough of the things we need.

And actually this post is starting to feel like the leaky cup stuff  I wrote about almost 2 years ago (see time really is flying!), and the timing of this makes perfect sense to me actually (more on that later).

This "not having enough of the things we need" can show up as money stuff (I know from my days in banking that almost no one ever thinks they have enough money, no matter how much they actually have) and relationship issues, but any perception of lack can have its roots here.

This scarcity way of looking at things; this thinking that someone else having something means there is less for us is an unconscious thing. 

(it's not like I think someone has actually taken my seat on that airplane to Mexico after all)

But it affects what we notice, how we weigh our choices, what we decide and how we behave.

It's a bit like negative thinking - negative thinkers can reach the finish line just like positive thinkers can (I don't actually believe in finish lines, but I think you know what I mean here).

Positive thinkers see the opportunities and are able to act on them, negative thinkers see the problems and are able to avoid them. Both ways of thinking can get us from A to B - one of them is just a hell of a lot more fun and is nicer for others to be around. I think my own life could be a hell of a lot more fun and less frantic with some mindset tweaks. Next post I will tell you what I am doing and you can see if anything resonates with you and might be helpful..

UP NEXT - just because she's beautiful .... part III - how to know there is enough for us