maybe our emotions can never be too close to the surface - part I

I was talking to my sister about how good it feels to hold Sully (who is now 4 months old) and she was saying she thinks it's because when we are holding a baby we can't be doing anything else - it totally centers us in the moment and it gives us permission to not do or think about anything else.

(it's also because he makes my heart grow 6 times in 6 minutes)

Maybe since his emotions are so close to the surface, he pulls mine up and out. His energy can't meet mine (thank goodness) so my energy rushes up to match his.

These days my emotions are so close to the surface it makes it challenging to navigate a difficult day.  Hubs thinks I take things too close to heart and wear my heart on my sleeve, yada yada

(yes, I am going to speak in heart idioms today, Valentine's day is fast approaching folks - does anyone need a locket?)

My thinking with this is that :

1. Our physical bodies can become so full with emotions that at some point our emotions have to be close to the surface (there is no where else for them to go) and 2. The older we get, the more things have happened to us that get reactivated when things happen now and trigger similar emotions

Maybe having my emotions in a place I can easily access them; close to the surface, is a good thing.

(this doesn't mean I am acting on them every second the way baby Sully is, of course. I was able to keep myself from pitching a fit at Staples yesterday - why can't they stock the gray ink for the printer they sold me that needs gray ink. Why are there 10 boxes of every other color and never any gray ink? Who is buying all the damn gray ink??)

My thinking with this is that :

1. It draws my attention to the fact I am full up with emotional sludge and have some stuff I need to release and 2. It prevents the new stuff from creating more sludge (if only because I am releasing it immediately)

Pushing down my emotions worked for me for years. And this was a subtle thing. I did this stuff without even realizing it. I was a very calm, cool and collected bank manager. I was a very calm, cool and collected mother (most of the time). I was a very calm, cool and collected wife and daughter.

Of course, this is only because no one, including myself, because I was so busy and often out of touch with myself, could see what was happening underneath. And this stuff has not only been jamming up my emotional energy (which makes it more challenging to attract and line up with the experiences I want) but I am certain the reason for the autoimmune issues I am dealing with now.

Releasing something in our mind is one thing; releasing our emotional attachment to it is something else. I am trying to be careful with the stories I tell myself now, because I can totally see how I am keeping certain experiences attached to me that are not high energy and do not serve me.

So, while I am working on releasing the sludge (more on this in another post) I will be keeping my emotions pretty close to the surface. I am not going to go all Uma Thurman in Kill Bill on anyone, I hope, and I will be working on my boundaries so I don't drive myself crazy with this stuff, but I am definitely feeling what I am feeling now ... the good and the not so good - we'll see where this leads ...

part II -  excavating the sludge
part III - boundaries for the thin-skinned 
part IV - using our emotions to line up with the stuff we want to experience

New Moon in Aquarius January 30th - another super new moon

my aquarius locket 20% off thru 2/18 with coupon code LINCOLN

We have a New Moon on Thursday (plus the Chinese Year of the Horse begins which creates even more universal energy for a new beginning now and it's a new super moon and a black moon - the 2nd dark moon in the same calendar month) - lots of new in this one folks.

We have Venus about to move forward (YAY) so projects that have been in the planning stages or that have been stagnant over the last few weeks (especially related to creative projects, relationships and money since Venus rules both Libra and Taurus) can get some legs under them now and will start to move forward. More money comes in. See my retrograde post.

Also the last few days of this lunar cycle coupled with these last few days of the Year of the Snake (snakes die when they don't shed their skin) make it a powerful time for release.

I'm going to use this energy for something larger than that pile of newspapers in my bedroom, although the pile is outta here, you should, too. 

Maybe some belief we are holding onto about what we need to happen so we can feel secure, what we need to have in place before we can do something else, where we need to get before we can stop or who we need to be before we can relax. Let's let go of that.

Write it in script, burn it, release it - we have to mean what we say with this stuff, because it works.

We won't be able to fit back into that shedded skin even if we tried, the Year of the Snake is over - release always equals expansion - we will have expanded ....

(not in a "need a new dress size" kind of way, of course, but that old skin is all wrinkly and crinkly and well .. dead, it's gotta go)

If we have fallen off the wagon with any intentions set on January 1st, everyone gets a do-over. But the skies have changed so the way we work with those intentions changes, too. 

The difference between the New Moon on January 1st and this moon on January 30th is the sun has moved into Aquarius now so we take the energy of Capricorn - the builder, worker, organizer energy and evolve it with the big picture thinking of Aquarius. 

We take that thing we have built out of its box now. We look at it in a new way. We might even get a little Aquarian wild-child with it.

Maybe our clean studio gets a bit messy.

(if it ever actually got cleaned up - with the Venus retrograde we might have been in a standstill and standing still is a perfectly good place to be ... until it isn't anymore and you will know when that time comes because you will begin to get uncomfortable with that place of stillness then you just have to do something to move out of it, what you do doesn't matter, you only have to move the energy)

It's an opportunity to take a long look at how the life we are building fits in with the other lives we share the planet with and move in a more powerful direction of building a space that supports all of us.

It’s a great time to set intentions that involve increasing our confidence, being true to ourselves and taking on new challenges.

Since we moved into an air sign over a week ago ideas have started to move, our thoughts may be a bit more scattered, colds are easier to catch now since we are more easily ungrounded.

If you are an Aquarius sun sign (like me) this is your most powerful new moon of the year.

This New Moon is an excellent time to set intentions for Aquarius stuff. I haven't decided on my intentions yet, but will post some mid-week to give you an idea of the kind of work that is supported during an Aquarius sun period. You can set any intentions at all at a new moon but if you work with the energy at play in the universe right now, you will have a strong wind at your back.