Wednesday, February 25, 2015

cultivating a waiting attitude - time is the means ..... part II



Part I of this series is here.

If we are plugging along doing the best we can and it still feels like we are spinning our wheels in our own twisted version of Groundhog Day or we get this close to something we want only to see it all fall apart at the 11th hour maybe the problem isn't what we are doing or what we are wanting - maybe the problem is as simple and as challenging as timing.

We were all born at exactly the right time. Yes, I believe down to the exact second. A doctor's forceps can't screw this up, a mother's deep desire to get this birth over with, a long hard labor - we are born when we intend to be born.

We begin our life doing everything with perfect timing. We eat, we sleep. We learn to walk and talk at our own pace. Babies don't have to plot and plan for these things to happen. They don't have daily planners, make vision boards and form mastermind groups. They just move through life doing what they do and then one day they stand up. Life is no different later on. The rules don't change. The only thing that has changed is us.


The I Ching hexagram for waiting looks like steam. It's rising up to the sky to form clouds. Before the rain comes, clouds must form. This takes time. In the I Ching the steam that accumulates into clouds (that leads to rain) symbolizes the creative energy generated anytime we attain a correct "waiting attitude". This doesn't mean we are sitting on our ass eating chocolate (although of course, this is going to happen from time to time☺).

A "waiting attitude" means we avoid the doubt, impatience and anxiety that drain our energy. 

We avoid (other than the occasional dark chocolate) engaging in detours that cause us to lose sight of our work. We avoid comparing ourselves with others. We remain in contact with our inner voice. 

We cooperate with time as the vehicle of change, knowing when the time comes to act, the Creative impulse will reveal the best way to respond.

Some things we can be asking ourselves are:

1. Am I trying to control the situation? Am I setting up fixed goals and paths? Can I release my attachment to the outcome and just work and enjoy the process?

We have built a paradigm (that is falling apart) in which control is seen as "good" and controllers as powerful. "She's got everything under control" sounds like a compliment until we see her crying into her pillow secretly wishing everything would just fall the hell apart so she doesn't have to carry it any longer.

Certainly there are business situations we need to stay on top of. But when we try to manipulate, push and control things we close off all sorts of wonderful possibilities that we can't line up with when we’re attached to one “right” path.

2. Am I worrying about what other people think? Am I wanting something so others can see me having it?

When we imagine ourselves having our desired goal do we feel the happiness of having it or do we feel the happiness from having others know we have it. Think about it.

3. Are you stuck deciding what to do? Can you begin to release the idea that there is one thing you are meant to do?

We waste so much energy deciding the path to travel - we are standing at that crossroad growing gray hair and baggy eyelids. What if both paths lead to exactly the same place? What if they all do? What if we just have to choose our road and the Creative can use any action we take to get us where we need to be? What if, when someone else succeeds doing it differently, it doesn't mean we have missed out on something or done something wrong? What if the same path wouldn't have worked in the same way for us with the same timing?

Next Part III - receptivity or why we might just need a set of tinfoil antennas

11 comments:

Christine said...

Great post! Amazing insight, I especially loved the 3 things to consider. Lots of food for thought.

Catherine Ivins said...

thanks Christine xo

DancingMooney said...

"Can I release my attachment to the outcome and just work and enjoy the process?"

I have most definitely been connected with this lately. The realization that I don't have to pick one path. For so long I thought I needed to figure out my one true purpose (and that it would bring me some big business idea when I found it), and it kept getting in the way of me actually doing the work, and making the life.

It really does feel like when I just allow myself to go with the flow and try not to stress out about the outcome, that things come together more naturally, and I'm sure my work is much more authentic on those days too.

Great post Cat!

Hope that snow is melting, omg!

Sending Sunshine, and Spring Flowers!
xo

Catherine Ivins said...

yeah me too attachment to an outcome is a biggie because our logical mind says of course I need to attach to the outcome, I have to really want this thing to get it, but when we really get that 'want' isn't the step before 'have' it's the opposite - it's the state of not having - and that very state is what keeps it away. That's why setting an intention and releasing it and just going about our business works best - life can make this all work out for everyone if we just get out of our own way.

I think all effort is fueled by subtle invasions of doubt so the more we effort the more doubt we are building instead of when we do the thing that flows from the last thing we did - the ego wants a straight line but nature wants us to zigzig!

xo

DancingMooney said...

A little light bulb in my head went off the other day and I started reading about Adult ADD... I realized my husband and I both have forms of it, mild to moderate on good days and bad days... and it's explained so many things for me about why I am so all over the place all the time. I have trouble keeping focus, and I get bored doing just one thing.

"life can make this all work out for everyone if we just get out of our own way."

This is so, so true. And somehow for me, this is also that thing about learning to just go with the flow.

Definitely lots of food for thought in this post, I agree. ♥

stregata said...

Excellent food for thought once again, Cat. And the bit about the grey hair and the baggy eyelids made me laugh out loud - maybe I am caught in the act? No, I am not going to look in the mirror - I most likely won't like what I see.
Thank you always for your insightful posts.

Catherine Ivins said...

the hair and eyelids are in my mirror for sure Renate! xo

Hopemore Studio said...

Thank you for this, it's exactly what I needed today.
~Angie

Catherine Ivins said...

thank you for reading Angie- I hope all is well! xo

lynn bowes said...

Man. I keep coming back to this: "Am I worrying about what other people think? Am I wanting something so others can see me having it?"

I have already shared that with the tech who did my bone scan today and a handful of other people. It never failed to stop everyone in their tracks.

Having it in my brain for the last 24 hours has made me think about some of those "things" I was reluctant to let go because I swore they were a big part of who I was. The truth is more that they were a big part of who I wanted everyone else to think I was. And that's big. And I have gotten such relief/release as the phrase is my new mantra and test before I make another purchase or add anything to my To-Do List. Am I doing this because I want people to think I'm something that inside I am not? Do I want that thing so people will think I am something I am not?

Big stuff here, girl. Big stuff.

Catherine Ivins said...

I almost couldn't write it because I felt in my bones how much I was talking to myself - I love the idea of thinking about that before adding anything to our to-do list.

I've been thinking lately - would I still do/want this if no one ever knew I did/had/accomplished it and it's changing my direction .... xo Lynn