after the eclipses | the baseball cap

final hour by sebastien tabuteaud

So, if you are reading this you have survived the Eclipse season - ha! (although maybe it's not officially over until the New Moon at the end of the month). It feels closed to me though.

The Fall Equinox in two days represents the mid-point of the astrological year. Someone in a store yesterday said to me, "this year is flying" and I said, "yes, we are half-way through already!" and she looked at me like I was nuts and needed to repeat my second grade math class or maybe buy a calendar. 

You might have felt a big adjustment in your life, maybe it was more subtle, maybe it's still to play out in the visible realm. Pisces rules the 12th (and final) house of "everything hidden" and "what we put away" and "what we do last" so it could be the shift was more "behind the scenes".

Usually with Eclipses we start to feel the energy about 6 months prior, so probably six months ago there was some change in our thinking/beliefs and we started to move in a different direction without us consciously moving in a different direction. Then the Eclipse season acts like a portal to connect that thinking/belief realm to our 3D physical reality and over the 6 months following the eclipse the changes manifest ... and life is different.

It's like when we set intentions or make goals, except the intentions and goals that set the changes into motion are outside our conscious control. They line us up with fate/destiny - what we came here to do.

(I always imagine us all lined up in the heavens like children on their first day of school - shiny new shoes and notebooks with smiles on our faces and ready for everything ... before schoolyard bullies (or maybe we are the schoolyard bully), burned out teachers, overloaded backpacks and helicopter parents have their way with us - ack!)

Sometimes we just need a little tweak to get back on track and sometimes we need a more major overhaul. Life can turn on a dime. And when enough people's individual lives turn on a dime - the world turns on a dime, too. This particular eclipse (in Pisces) maybe had a lot of us looking within because there were no answers outside of us.

The eclipse was t-squaring Mars and Saturn (the two planets considered malefic by astrologers) and with a t-square (picture the letter T) the energy gets funneled in the direction of the t-square. That is a lot of energy to change outdated belief systems; stuff that we often don't even realize is constraining us.

my cap circa 1999

Most mornings I get up early and walk at my local reservoir. I throw my hair into a baseball cap and when I first put on the cap it feels tight and annoying, but after a few minutes I don't even notice I am wearing it. Some days when I get home and check my email and get off track with whatever comes up I can find myself still wearing it hours later because I have adjusted to the tight/annoying feeling and don't remember to take it off. I always feel better when I finally do though.

We could think of an eclipse (and this happens with other transits, too, especially those involving Uranus and Pluto) as one way life has to get us to notice and (hopefully) remove that baseball cap; to move past what is constricting us.

I had a memorable eclipse season this month with Olive's accident and in March 2015 with a financial tax matter - to outside eyes these might seem like very different things, but I can see the connections.

They were both about "values, what's most important - what money can't buy" and "other people's money" and my own habit of negative thinking where I immediately take what is happening to the worst possible conclusion in my head and don't trust things to unfold properly without my manipulation.

I took Olive's situation, in my head, to an expensive surgery she would not survive (I have experience with pets having expensive surgeries they did not survive) and the tax situation, in my head, had me going to jail, missing months of Sully's life and losing tens of thousands of dollars. Both these things were extreme and very, very unlikely to ever happen, but I did not see them that way. In my head, they were right in front of me. Both situations were outside my control, resulted in me having to "let go and let God" and offered up lessons about what my negative thinking does to my physical body and lessons in what is most important to me (ie Olive and Sully) and the way I react emotionally to issues around money and security. They have a 'before' and 'after' feeling to them and are situations/times I will remember.

(And now I feel the need to explain the tax situation a bit - hubs business, truck repair, has some customers who do not pay sales tax on their repairs/maintenance because of their gross vehicle weight or the type of work their vehicle is used for, etc - now, some of these rules changed a few years ago, but we were unaware of the changes so exempted sales tax where we shouldn't have and I say we, but I really mean 'me' here. A mistake I made brought this to light and I was told by a tax attorney that although we wouldn't have to pay the missing taxes, since we had tax waivers signed by customers claiming exemptions, we could have to pay the penalties and interest which totaled about $18,000 and I could even go to jail since I had signed the inaccurate returns. Of course, it's probably in his best interest to tell me the worst case scenario so I would hire him, but I was in the circus of eclipse season and this seemed to me like exactly what was going to happen. I also had a long transit in my chart that spring that looked like 'legal' stuff to me. In the end the state waived the penalties and we paid about $1500 interest and obviously I didn't go to jail - although I did watch a couple seasons of Orange is the New Black and cut my hair to get myself ready just in case and I did get on the jury of a very long heroin trafficking trial ...)

Anyhoo, with Mars (action) in Sagittarius (freedom) part of the t-square, life is asking us what we are going to do as we release whatever limiting belief (ie baseball cap) we have taken off. Do we really want our freedom or are we more comfortable staying constrained and playing small, because of course with our freedom comes our responsibility (Saturn in Sagittarius). It's easier to stay constrained and blame something outside our control for the limitations in our life or stay asleep and wait for someone to come along and fix everything - the complaining/blaming thing that Saturn in Sagittarius (through the end of 2017) is bringing to our attention.

This eclipse is releasing a constriction (maybe right away or maybe more slowly over the next 6 months). The wind has blown off that baseball cap and we can either have a really bad hair day or look the world straight in the eye, hat hair and all, set our sights on our target (the hair in our eyes won't stop us, it's only hair after all!) and move forward with this new passion that has awakened now that our head isn't being constrained by 10 ounces of canvas.

(for me, the thinking that keeps me stuck and playing small and thinking "this isn't going to work" so not doing the first step - even though I know the step by step thing changes the outcome and it's not possible to see the outcome anyway - and feeling that I have to manipulate the situation for it to work out and a lack of trust with money and other people that has me making emotional decisions focused on security rather than freedom or happiness)

We might have been so dependent on that baseball cap that we are kind of freaking out now and thinking "where the hell is my cap?!" and, of course, we have free will and so if we keep looking for that baseball cap we will re-manifest/re-create it 

(there is a Target in almost every town after all) 

and this is how we move from one relationship to a new relationship that turns into the same relationship and a new job that turns into the same old job. And then we'll be stuck in it again and get used to it again and it will be comfortable. But maybe a comfort zone is not what the world needs us to be looking for right now and maybe it's not what we came here to find ...

This is how the vibrations that we have in our physical body that are determined by the belief systems we have in our psyche create the world we experience. So we can experience a world with a baseball cap where we are all neat and tidy and our problems are all tucked away underneath and people cannot really see us or get close to us or touch our hair.

Or we can experience a world where our hair is unrestrained even if it gets in our eyes sometimes and maybe even gets caught in the steering wheel of our car (yes, I did this recently - don't judge me) and needs to be brushed and given our attention and also gets to touch and sometimes, yes, be judged, loved, hated and ignored, by others.

And I hope this metaphor is making sense to someone - I think I've lost the thread here - ack!

This is how we all live on the same planet but inhabit very different worlds and how most people, and maybe most of us in some space in our life, just move from baseball cap to baseball cap and never take the damn thing off (whatever is restricting freedom but is providing safety).

xo all