Two weeks ago I woke before dawn, pushed my scary-ass morning hair into a baseball cap, put on my larger than any sunglasses ever need to be in real life aviators,
(hey, is that Jennifer Aniston?)
bought a padlock (with non-traceable cash), packed up my car - in the dark, drove one town over and ... rented a storage unit.
(disclosure - I have not actually ever been mistaken for Jennifer Aniston. Actually, I don't look anything like Jennifer Aniston. But there was that few months, weeks, days in 2009 - sniffle - that my hair did. I just can't seem to let it go)
I am in the middle of re-arranging (note the 're' during this month's mercury retrograde, my friends) the upstairs rooms and needed somewhere to re-locate stuff as I work.
Yes, I realize what this says about me and the state of a four bedroom house (two of the bedrooms I swear are no larger than walk in closets, but because they have closets we get to call them bedrooms) that houses two people right now. Yes, I spring clean every year. Yes, I let go of stuff regularly.
Yes, I still have a lot of crap.
No doubt my Viking ancestors would have buried their plunder and I did look around my backyard and briefly considered a shady spot under a dogwood, but then I thought about my still-healing shoulder and googled 'storage unit central new jersey'.
There may come a day when I go into the ground myself surrounded by my treasures anyway.
(Hopefully not anytime soon, of course, but when my favorite uncle died a few years ago, my husband asked the undertaker what we could put in the coffin with him. At the time I thought George was nuts, but it did give me a little glimpse into my destiny ... at least I can rest assured that any future Mrs. Ivins will not get her hands on my corks and car parts.)
Anyhoo, now that I have started renting my useless stuff its own little apartment I am getting much more done on the house. I always seem to need something I have stored though.
I have actually made trips back and forth to unit 505 - I have nicknamed her Wit's End - 16 times.
Yes, in 14 days (I left my wallet there on Sunday and had to make two round trips).
It seems like this is actually a pretty common practice. I have seen entire three generation families hanging out by their units and grilling hamburgers - I don't ask questions, unless of course, I need someone to pass me the ketchup.
In 16 days (by the end of Mercury Retrograde and my rental contract) I will let go of the unit and bring any remaining stuff/plunder/crap home. I will have a yard sale or a bonfire, but I will let Wit's End go. I will not become one of these people paying $1200 a year to store $500 (if you squint in the dark and use replacement value) worth of stuff.
I will let this stuff go. I will let this stuff go. I will let this stuff go.
(and maybe even my Jennifer Aniston hair obsession which will greatly please my poor hairstylist)