Today the Libra Sun catches up with Black Moon Lilith.
Black Moon Lilith is not a dwarf planet or an asteroid. She is the point in the Moon's orbit when the Moon is furthest from the Earth.
This is part of yesterday's Solar Eclipse story as the Moon grows/waxes to fullness.
Merged with the Sun, Lilith comes into the SPOTLIGHT.
This is a space of the anti-Moon/outsider. A space in our chart where we have been shamed for wanting something we are perfectly entitled to be wanting and then it comes out in awkward ways later. The space relates to your mother's story when you were in her womb. It relates to the dark side of the Moon aka our own dark side - and, also, our INNER AUTHORITY.
Black Moon Lilith is named after Lilith (of Hebrew folklore and biblical fame), the first "Eve" who refused to lie beneath Adam - wanted equality/freedom and was banished from the garden for her failure to comply/obey. Her name Lilith means 'night bird' or spirit. In ancient Babylonian texts she becomes a winged female demon of the night who was sexually provocative and stole and killed babies.
We can see why this point where the Moon (mother/baby) is furthest from Earth (life/the garden) - this space of lunar apogee - was synchronistically named Black Moon Lilith. I talked about BML in some detail when the United States Supreme Court over-turned Roe vs. Wade HERE.
I studied astrology for many years before I even noticed her (BML in my own behind the scenes 12th house) in charts, but once you see her - and her powerful acts of self-affirmation, that, include, yes, even things like abortion, you won't be able to unsee her.
I wrote about my Black Moon Lilith story/my mother's pregnancy story HERE, almost exactly one year ago when we had the first Solar Eclipse in Libra (the relationship wound being the space where the light gets in).
Flash ahead to autumn 2024 and we are back in the Eclipse spin cycle.
My story takes place on the day of the powerful Pisces Lunar Eclipse Full Moon conjunct Neptune (I should add here for the astro buffs, that my natal Neptune is conjunct my Ascendent and the focus of a tight t-square) which was going to be followed by the Libra Solar Eclipse conjunct Black Moon Lilith. - exact yesterday (my natal Black Moon Lilith at 21 degrees Libra in my 12th house answering to Venus in my 2nd, ie resources, money, security, and Venus also rules my 7th house of partners - you will see how all this plays into what happens).
The Full Moon Eclipse is happening conjunct Neptune. Venus is at 21 degrees Libra and on my Black Moon Lilith and trining my 21 Mercury (thoughts, ideas, conversations) in deadly serious Capricorn. This Eclipse was EXACT on my husband's descendent (partner), but like the shoemaker with the shoeless children, I hadn't noticed any of this for us personally.
I am writing the Pisces Full Moon Eclipse blog post at my desk when I see someone on Facebook has posted about the death of her 19 year old son from an overdose of drugs. I am scrolling through pictures of her son through the years and thinking about my brother-in-law's wasted life (due to drugs and mental illness). I am thinking about the future of my family, my community, the world with these freaking drugs. I get, very uncharacteristically, ANGRY AS HELL.
Beyond angry as hell. Because maybe 'angry as hell' could leave you shaky, vulnerable. I felt powerful. Dangerous. There is steel in my veins.
Now, here is where I have to back this story up and pull in my husband.
He is an Aquarius Sun/Mercury (not conjunct), Virgo rising with an Aries Moon.
Since covid he has lost his mother, brother and business. His business was kind of a community hub for his customers who were also his friends (sort of), so, in a way, and I say it this way because he used these words to me once "he lost his kingdom". Over the last year or so, he had taken to visiting our town's smoke shop (sells cigarettes, cigars, etc) which was owned by a hundred-year-old man and located next to our local grocery store. A good friend of hubs had a stroke and his estranged son worked in this smoke shop. Hubs started going in there to kind of bridge the son back to his dad, but he ended up becoming friends with the son and he liked talking to the old man and some of the people he used to know came in there once in a while, too. He had been depressed and getting out, and being around men with his Aries Moon, seemed like a good idea. At the same time hubs had gotten deep into gardening/farming and working with seeds and plants and although we only have a little over half an acre, was growing dozens of different vegetables, etc. Also during this time he has become quite fond of video gaming. He would say 'quite fond', or probably not that, but something like that - I would say addicted. I am writing all this, so you get some idea of his 'headspace'.
About a year ago we go somewhere for a couple days and left my daughter in charge of watering the plants and when we get home my daughter tells me that some of the tomato plants (started upstairs under grow light in an extra room) look like marijuana. I couldn't believe it and asked him about it and he laughed and said, no, just tomatoes. Anyway, move ahead a few months and I go in the back of the barn where I never go and hubs has these tall plants with the obvious spiky marijuana leaves and I toss a fit. He says they are for the smoke shop. He will sell these and then never grow them again. I have a few sleepless nights knowing they are out there (marijuana is legal in NJ, but it's not legal to grow it or sell it), but soon they are gone. I forget about it, or try to, but once in a while I notice in my feed, because he sometimes googles things when I am still signed in, that he is still searching for information about growing cannabis. He lies to me, again, when I question him about. And, I admit now thinking back that I almost don't want to know because then I would have to do something about it. I should add that he spends quite a bit of time in the barn tinkering with seeds, lighted magnifiers on his head like a mad scientist. But he talks to me about tomatoes and cucumbers and zucchini and we do have quite a few different kinds of each this summer ....
OK, so now let's come back to the present.
I am sitting at my desk. Writing that blog post about the Pisces Eclipse two weeks ago. I read this woman's Facebook post about her son's death. I am looking out my studio window at the garden with its fading leaves and dried up tomatoes. It's fall now, and it is easier to see what's there because of what isn't there and I am looking at some plants in the back by the barn that still look healthy and great and are about chest high. I go outside for a closer look. I smell them before I get close enough to see them. If you have never smelled a pot plant it is kind of like a burned coffee pot. I count them. I go back in my house. I double the count because who knows what I have missed, there are multiple gardens, and I google 10 plants in New Jersey. It says possible 10 years in prison and $150,000 fine.
I would say I am losing my mind, but I am not losing my mind, because my mind is razor sharp.
I go back outside with a kitchen knife, some scented dryer sheets and four huge lawn and leaf bags. I am thinking about him playing God with these seeds/thinking he is above the law. That this isn't hurting anyone. And, I will add here that he doesn't even smoke this crap. The garbage will be picked up any moment, so I am rushing. The stems are stalky like bamboo. I cut my hands up, but cram every last leaf into these bags along with the dryer sheets. I feel like I am in an episode of Breaking Bad. I feel like I am burying a body. I have to climb into the trash can to crush them down. My neighbor asks if I need help and I rudely bark him away before he can smell this stuff and maybe recognize it. I put the bag of actual garbage on top and can't believe I have fit everything in this can (it gets picked up by machine - one of those garbage trucks with the 'hands' so I am hoping no one gets close to it).
I take a shower. I finish up the blog post by writing "there will be hell to pay" and wait for hubs to come home and lose his mind.
He comes home from work, tired, but all smiles. He calls to the dog and goes outside. I see him start to walk across the backyard and when he gets within eye distance of these plants he stops. He heads back into the house. He is very mad. Maybe as mad as I have ever seen him. And I know all the time and attention he has put into these plants that he probably loves by this time, but I am totally determined. Fearless. This need to protect myself, need to protect what we have built is making me STRONG. I know he can see this in my eyes. He asks, "where are they?". I tell him, but he can't believe they have fit in the can, so he thinks he can find them. He gets in the truck and drives off. I think to tell his smoke shop friend, but maybe just to have a cry because he comes home with red eyes and tells me I am heartless - he has cried over dead plants before.
I say yes.
We eat dinner and later he licks all the desserts, so I can't eat any.
It doesn't stop me, but this is when I know everything will be ok.
And just before we drift off to sleep, I whisper "I will do it again if I have to". I hear the catch in his breath. I feel like I am in a spy novel and am holding an invisible knife to his throat ...
So, this is my transiting Venus on my Black Moon Lilith in Libra story. I literally pulled his 'babies' from the garden and killed them. And, I had no idea I was having this transit until I was relaying this story to a friend and checked my chart ... and his.
Another thing that happened is that the few family members who knew what happened all sided with him! Thought I should have just waited for him to harvest them and then they would have been gone. That he 'had put so much work into them'. That 'they were amazing and the best quality they had ever seen'. That I 'could have given him a heart attack'. There was, except for the one friend I relayed the story to, no understanding of my position here. Although I am sure they understood it later ... maybe.
Very Lilith - the steely anger/power and resolve, the feminine need to protect myself, the killing of the man's creations, the fleeing from the garden, the being shamed/called wrong for daring to protect myself and to have the safety I am perfectly entitled to having.
WTH people, it was NUTS.
This was Venus, ruler of my 2nd house/resources and my 7th house/partner on my Black Moon Lilith in Libra/12th house shame wound turned INNER AUTHORITY while hubs had that Full Moon Eclipse opposing his Ascendant with Neptune and Neptune ruling his 7th house/partner. AND with that second Eclipse - the one yesterday - also applying with its conjunction to Black Moon Lilith. Astrology is amazing. The archetypes and patterns are alive. They don't always play out quite so literally, but maybe something in your life can relate.
With your own Lilith you might ask yourself, and your mother, what was happening to your mother when she carried you and how you might still be carrying that energy now/how it impacts your choices and actions.
Also keep in mind our waxing Libra New Moon Solar Eclipse -
What can you do over the next two weeks - the time this Eclipse is strongest and GROWING - to help ESTABLISH THE PATTERNS you are wanting with other people and with the theme - which we talked about yesterday - of your natal Libra house? There is a pattern-setting quality at play now. Let's use it. If you do nothing else with this, think about your RELATIONSHIPS. Who do you want to spend time with? Focus on them. Who do you want to spend less time with? Avoid them for a bit. You get the idea.
I hope something here is helpful. I will likely delete this post at some point, but it's nuts how literally these archetypes sometimes play out ...
xo all
Expect something in the collective news that tries to either shame a woman for asking for something she is entitled to or some kind of 'dangerous' woman story and maybe some abortion news with Sun/BML now.
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