Whining Wednesday - a few things that are freaking me out this week

I know I decided to turn Whining Wednesdays into No Whining on Wednesdays and I have been good for the last few weeks, but every now and then we all need to whine

(just a little)

freak out #1) Hubby reading in the bathroom. This really, really bugs me. And I haven't blogged about him in a long time

(at least a week)

but this has gotten so out of control.

I am constantly finding strange things in the bathroom - like flashlights and drill bits and unopened mail

(I know this has nothing to do with reading, but these things freak me out, too)

and I am totally yucked out when I find a book in the bathroom. I mean, is it just me, or should nothing be in the bathroom that doesn't belong there.



this is how it starts folks -------->


Soon George will be taking the book into the restroom at the library before bringing it home so he can test it out; see how it feels on his lap, how well it rests on the back of the toilet tank, etc.

This so freaks me out

(of course, this does not apply to bathtubs or parents escaping their children- both valid "book in the bathroom" scenarios)

freak out #2) Amazon - Remember when Amazon was the internet's go to place for books, music, and movies?

Then they somehow collaborated with every other website ever created and now you can also purchase wholesale servings of organic juice drinks, a dog sled, a 200 pound drillpress, my own cemetery plot under a shady tree in Nevada and frankly, I don't like seeing those items as suggested purchases next to my shopping cart with my Snowdogs II Anniversary Edition DVD in there.

(Olive claims to be a big fan of Cuba Gooding, Jr although I suspect she has a little crush on snowdog number one)

freak out #3) That Tiger Woods talking listening to his dad Nike ad (ala Hamlet?). I have read this advertising called brilliant branding. I am just calling it C-R-E-E-P-Y.

(remember when Nike had that great ad with all the little girl babies throwing off their pink nursery caps- what the hell has happened to them?)

freak out #4) - An 11 year old girl super hero (YAY), but wait a minute, an 11 year old girl super hero who uses the "c" word (not so YAY) - I don't think I am a prude

(in fact some of the reviewers of this movie want me to feel like a prude for objecting, but I object anyway)

if women let this word become acceptable and part of normal conversation I resign from my race, really truly .... let's boycott this movie - I'm not even going to say its name.

freak out #5) SEO - I have immersed myself in this stuff over the past few days, so I can pass all the wisdom I have accumulated on to you guys next week

(and maybe sell a few things)

"So is it all about the Benjamins, baby?" you may be asking yourself

(because in my head you all talk like P. Diddy)

and yes, it kind of is, actually....

and speaking of immersing myself (freak out #6) I did take a break this morning from my SEO education to liberally baste my face with some new organic skin care products, because I think this is something I need to start thinking about and because I really don't want to be able to use the folds of my face as a coin purse anytime soon.

I realize someday this is going to happen and I will probably be happy to have the extra storage space, but for now I still have a couple empty shelves in my pantry...

Now here's where I insert the disclaimer that I have been advised by my sister (who moved to Portland, Oregon a few years ago) that people on the west coast consider "freaking" a bad word, as if it were the real "f" word (and yes, I think the "c" word is way worse than the "f" word) that we use all the time here on the east coast and no one bats an eyelash.

She claims that when she says "freaking" to people they look at her as if she said something really bad, so she has stopped saying it.

(she is back to using the real "f" word and giving them the finger)

So, if you are a west coaster and this word is like fingernails on a chalkboard to you, I freaking apologize, sincerely. And if you are a west coaster and think my sister is freaking crazy let me know that, too (I think she is actually saying frigging, which is gross actually).


1. Calming and Clarifying Facial Cream by DressGreen
2. Reading photography by A Life Through the Lens
3. Freak Out and Throw Stuff notebook by Earmark
4. Eager Husky print by ToxicGuineaPigs
5. Toilet Paper on your Neck by LiciaBeads

No Whining on Wednesday or keeping things balanced and maybe even easy to quit

When I was growing up my mom didn't work.

Now, I say it this way because I know you will know what I mean, and of course, she did work. She did the hardest work of all.

She was not a good example of a "happy to be at home raising her family" kind of mom. She was bored.

This boredom led to depression and some other negative stuff, but it also led to alot of fun, crazy good stuff which came from her innate creativity and forced isolation.

But, I grew up thinking that working (and being out of the house) was probably a good thing.

When my daughter was very little I was working for a bank. Her good friend's mom took a job as a crossing guard, but because it was a pain in the neck going back and forth to her crossing guard stop all day long, she quit after a few days.

Now, this was all at a time when I was working alot and probably lacking a certain balance and my daughter would ask me sometimes often to quit my job.

So, anyhoo, she was with me at the bank one day (maybe a take your daughter to work day, I don't remember) and a bigshot vp was visiting my branch and she was asking all the daughters what they wanted to be when they grew up. And Sue's daughter said, "a doctor" and Theresa's daughter said "a lawyer" and the vp was nodding and smiling and then she asked my daughter and my daughter said "a crossing guard"

and when the startled vp asked her why, she replied, "because it's easy to quit."

(gulp)

Now, years after I ditched all that (or it ditched me, truthfully), I am working long hours again and feeling that lack of balance, "not easy to quit" thing creeping back into my life.

Yesterday, I had a rather lively debate about this exact subject- yes, with another person -

(Olive was sleeping)

who believes that because we are doing what we love (and hoping that the money will follow) there is almost no such thing as working too much.

(of course, this guy was also eating a box of raisins at the bagel shop and I haven't seen an actual person over 24" tall eat raisins out of the box like that in a very long time, also I should mention that the box was gigantic)

but, I don't get out much- maybe raisin popping is the new thing.

I have a feeling (and a knowing actually) that work that you love because your soul needs to do this thing and work that you love because you can make the payments on your cute little Prius can both become ... too much

and this "too much" thing can happen very quickly and soon you are not doing the things you used to do (and you loved those things, too) - no trips to the library, no long bike rides, no painting your peeling wicker porch chairs, no trying out those new recipes, too many no's for a life where you are committed to saying yes.

So, I am re-balancing again and thinking this is just another process without an endzone and knowing that being so far left right now means I may need a very big push right to swing back to center.

(does anyone have an extra ticket to Hawaii they won't be using?)

So, after our lively debate, which consisted in quite a bit of raisin flinging on his part, I was finally able to extricate myself from the conversation by maneuvering toward the condiment counter to get a lemon slice for my tea.

Suddenly, someone next to me was announcing, “Well my daughter had her baby.”

(surely she wasn't talking to me because I didn’t even know she had a daughter, but, yes, I turned around and there it was- eye contact)

My response was something like, “Hey, do you know where they keep the straws?”

and she continued, "She wasn’t plannin’ on having a baby but she was takin’ medicine for her urinary tract infections and that messed with her birth control and she got pregnant.

Me - smile, nod, *crickets*

(I sometimes go pre-verbal when forced into an actual face to face conversation involving the word urinary and infection and yes, this happens to me quite often, I live in New Jersey, remember)

"The labor was quick though. She was already real dilated by the time she got to the hospital. That baby pretty much just dropped on out."

and then she grabbed her crossing guard stop sign and headed out the door.

I guess some people just don't know when to quit.


1. Vintage children in crosswalk pic from TheVintageMode
2. Quitter card by RedLetterInk
3. Cinnamon Bagel Earrings by 3Squares
4. I am an artist, not a waitress ring set by KathrynRiechert
5. Get a job dress by PaulaLaFargue

No Whining on Wednesday or to bee or not to bee, that is really the question

I am a semi-retired almost-spelling champion.

well, I got 2nd place in our school spelling bee in the 4th grade and maybe that doesn't exactly spell c-h-a-m-p-i-o-n, but I really was just one letter away from the title ... (c-h-a-m-p-i-o ?)

and yes (I can hear my sister snickering right now) I am going to tell that story .... again

now I am not just randomly mentioning this fact (and I will get to my 4th grade devastation in a moment) but several things have happened to me in the last 48 hours that have brought all these sordid memories back to me to deal with ... again

(and maybe finally get some closure ... maybe)

#1 - I collect Trixie Beldon books.

(it's kind of a sickness)

Trixie was my childhood heroine. She was sort of a younger, spunkier Nancy Drew. My aunt gave me an old collection of Trixie books when I was eight or so and I fell in love with her.

She was a horse rider and mystery solver and I was a bike rider and mystery solver.

(well, my sister and I did once figure out that my brother was allergic to plums by secretly stuffing him with a huge amount while my mother wasn't looking ... it wasn't pretty, but we solved the mystery of his itchy rashes once and for all)

Anyhoo, flash ahead to Ebay and I started bidding on and collecting a particular series of Trixie books (in the style that I used to own) - I had collected maybe 18 of the 30 or so volumes. I bid on one every month or so and picked up a few at flea markets, so my little collection has been slowly and steadily making its way across my bookshelf.

Then, yesterday morning I accidentally typo'd Trixie Belden instead of Trixie Beldon (e for o) when doing my monthly Ebay search for my missing treasures and ...

there were hundreds of them! Like 1600 and something instead of the 20 or so I usually spot.

My heart started racing and I thought I might need medical attention, so I started motioning for Olive and she jumped in my lap ready to perform whatever kind of medical maneuver this situation required

(I've said before how smart she is. Please take this seriously)

All the books I could ever want to own were right there waiting for me, but wait a minute how could all these people be spelling Trixie's name wrong ...

(I am a bit slow on the uptake sometimes)

After dropping Olive and racing to my little Trixie collection to confirm, I realized that I had been misspelling my beloved Trixie's last name ... for 2 years! for 24 Ebay searches! for an almost spelling champion like me this was a devastating blow!

Of course, now knowing I can get any book (almost) at any time if I am just willing to spend enough money, has taken the fun out of my collecting - so I have decided to just keep searching among the mis-spellers- they are my peeps after all and ignore all those know it alls who think they can spell everything ....

(yes, like you Carole Bober who may have beat me by spelling "disappointed" correctly - can you imagine the humiliation of blowing such a simple, just sound it out for pete's sake, word - ugh! - ok, family I am really over it this time- although I do have to add there was a bit of trickery involved on Carole's part, but I am not going to go there in case she googles herself one day and this post appears - my sister is right now burying her head in her hands)

So anyhoo again- the other strange thing about this incident (and the subsequent spelling bee memory which I have not thought about for years- well except for the annually televised National Spelling Bee finals which I watch and am forced to remember that I was CHEATED OUT OF THAT TROPHY -yes another trophy rant, sorry)

is that the past 48 hours have been filled with synchronicities for me having to do with BEES ....

Let me explain - 1. (or is this 2?) Last night I was going to make a banner for a new Etsy team called the Artisans Collective and I am thinking banner, banner, banner - you get it - my head was pretty much empty, then I remembered my own rant post about how you need an identity before you have a banner, duh, what was I thinking, so I start thinking identity, collective, collection, herd, flock of birds, school of fish

(well, actually some of these things were thought by my daughter before she said them out loud and then they were thought by me and since she might read this, I better throw her in here for copyright protection)

then I thought bees, hive, collective, women, community, working together, the ability to play with the words bee and be- perfect fit. I start to get excited. Then I think maybe a quote will help with a branding statement and I have a quote book somewhere and it's not really much of a quote book (maybe 20 quotes in it, more of a picture book), but I look for it and it is right next to me

(and believe me nothing I need is ever right next to me)

and the paper cover has been long lost and the hardback cover has just one word pressed into the cover ... and the word is ....

be

(this was not the name of the book)

and I open the book to a random page and it says ...

"there can never be good for the bee, which is bad for the hive" ... emerson

(this is not a book of bee quotes, I promise you)

and again my heart starts racing and I motion for Olive and she just looks at me this time, like not this again and I motion like, no, I am really serious this time, and she is like ok and jumps in my lap

so, I make the logo and am so flipping happy with it (plus I got to buy a new font and I love a reason to buy a new font)

and I sign on to Etsy to send my "just meant to bee" little banner to Cindy (marysgranddaughter on Etsy) and there is a convo

from a seller I do not know named Lianne and she wants to trade something in my shop for something in hers and the name of her shop is (I am totally serious here) Lizzie's Bees! and she wants to trade me for a dog collar and I just look down at Olive and Olive is all like - don't you even think of saying no to this one, Cat!

And I then realize the movie on the tv in my bedroom at that moment is called The Secret Life of Bees.

So, what does this all mean, you may be asking yourself, well, of course I have absolutely no idea except that something is clearly "meant to bee" about all this (I just can't stop saying that- sorry)

I am just hoping I am not about to be attacked by a swarm of angry bees or repeatedly stabbed in a freak quilting bee incident and linger in some kind of bee coma before I pass away because of bee-lated medical attention (note to self- get that collar and keep Olive happy), but you know, it would almost be worth it because that would wrap this all up so nicely.

well, not so nicely for me, I guess ...
1. Toddler Honey Bee T by CritterJitters
2. Bumble Bee Pincushion by SeaPinks
3. Dilkabear Magnetic Recycled Locket by Polarity
4. Honeybee Earrings by UnJardinDeHilo
5. Bees In Love Card by YellowCakeCrafts
6. BumbleBee Charmer by LindsayArt

SPECIAL THRU 4/15 - FREE PAIR OF EARRINGS WITH ANY NECKLACE PURCHASE IN EITHER OF MY SHOPS Uncorked or Polarity - JUST NOTE 'the bees knees' or some such something in the comments to seller section of your order!

NO Whining on Wednesday - feelin' lucky for St. Paddy's Day

I've been thinking alot about Whining Wednesdays lately and realize that (since I am the law of attraction in action girl, in case you missed that)

I really do need to be more positive.

I mean, it's kind of like walking around with an ungratitude journal and I don't want to be that kind of person

(or mess with Oprah)

so I think we need to add a NO to our Whining Wednesday routine and we can focus on all the ways we are lucky.

For instance, I was half watching You've Got Mail (no, not another Meg Ryan post, I promise) and seeing Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan (I really won't mention her again) communicate back and forth with each other via email in complete sentences that I don't think anyone with less than seven hands could possibly type that quickly and accurately

and it made me realize that I am very lucky (#1) to have found Mr. Right before texting and email and instant messaging

because after watching me write something on screen, erase it, rewrite it and still not make any sense, my potential suitor would be convinced that it wasn't a real person he was talking to, but a small dog walking across the keyboard

and because I called him 'my potential suitor' - he'd probably think I was a total loser who wears polka dot ribbons, collects Speed Racer memorabilia and knows the lyrics to all Pat Benatar songs.

But he'd be wrong. Because I freakin' hate ribbons.

Unless they're blue and have my name on them, but I don't think I've ever had one of those.

Wait ... lucky #2, I did have a blue ribbon for the 5th grade standing broad jump and now that I think of it, where the hell is it? I had a few trophies that year, too and if I had them now I could set up one of those little showrooms for myself like those 4 year old pageant girls have and I have always wanted




I mean I admit this kid is cute, but is it really fair that she has all these trophies and I have none? ----->


and when people come over to visit me I could slowly maneuver them into my showroom and I could spend a few minutes reminding them about how awesome I am

actually scratch all that stuff because now that I'm thinking about it, I would rather be the kind of person who after receiving a Lifetime Achievement in Awesomeness award from the academy would just absent mindedly leave it in the restroom. I wouldn't miss it.

Wait, again ... now that I'm dreaming let's go back to my Academy Award because I can see myself whipping off a pair of oversized Gucci sunglasses and tucking them into an equally oversized hairdo that has the same texture as fiberglass insulation and thanking the academy and my daughter and hubby (and Olive, of course) and all the little people everywhere ...

and then I would tuck my award into my Michael Kors handbag that would actually be large enough to hold Michael Kors- before heading into the restroom where I would absent mindedly leave it behind and never think of it again ...

(that sounds better- with grateful thinking it is very important to take the high road)

And the #3 reason I am lucky is that this photo just magically appeared on my desktop and I am thinking that either I have the smartest dog on the planet or have been sleep- surfing the internet

(again)

I can't really decide if this product is awful or awesome ... but I am thinking maybe awesome and I love how they market the box directly to the pup with "Keep Yourself Warm and Your Paws Free" which I suppose is what caught Olive's attention since she likes to sleep all bundled up near the heater with her paws sticking out of the covers

so, now I am wasting a lot of time tiptoeing into the bedroom every few hours to try to catch Olive on the computer and I can't spend my entire day doing this since I am such a busy girl

(and there are so many other, more productive ways to procrastinate)

although if I discover that Olive can actually type faster and more accurately than I do

(or better than the average 7 year old which is about the same thing)

this would free up alot of time for me. Time that could be better spent involved in some trophy winning activities to get started on my show(off)room

(I have seen enough episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras to be fairly certain I could take those little brats)

and it would be kind of a relief to know that if my Man of Mystery (ie the husband who has threatened a marital lawsuit if I continue to blog about him on Wednesdays)

runs away to find a new girl

(maybe a girl with a permanently adhered paw covered snuggi and no internet service)

at least I can count on Olive to impress any potential suitors.


1. Wishbone necklace by Marolsha
2. Lucky stone button set by LockandSpoon
3. Do Not Freeze print by LuckyBunnyWorldwide
4. Lucky spirit quartz necklace by PiperTree
5. Lucky Locket Set By Polarity

SPECIAL at both my Etsy shops- a free pair of matching earrings with any necklace or locket purchase in either of my shops Uncorked or Polarity - just write Yup, I Feel Lucky (or some such something) in the comments to seller section of your order. Offer good thru 3/31!

Whining Wednesday or it's time to live the dream, folks

Now I know it's Wednesday, which is usually a good excuse for me to whine about a few things, but lately I've been feeling much too positive about my future and

(maybe due to this never-ending cold that keeps me from thinking straight)

I find my dreams really reaching for the sky ...

for instance, Dream 1 - I sent my media kit

(yes, I have a media kit- it does contain a picture of Meg Ryan- but I don't think anyone will notice, since you don't really see her around much anymore and no one remembers her real face anyway)

to some magazines and am hoping for a product mention, but what I really want is to be described in print somewhere as being incredibly fit and attractive.

(I mean, other than in something I've written about myself.)

(oh, and maybe if the word 'annoying' wasn't used, that would be cool, too.)

So, the magazine could show a picture of my cork jewelry and say something like, Uncorked's incredibly fit and attractive designer Catherine Ivins ... yadda yadda yadda - there must be some way a clever copywriter can work this in for me.

Dream 2 - The other thing I really want is to be driving at some ridiculously high rate of speed and have to perform some challenging yet delicate maneuver - like swerving to stop a burning, runaway school bus full of orphans or avoid a little parade of baby ducks

(or maybe just once I won't hit the curb when I pull out of the bank drive-thru)

my passenger - perhaps Ben Stiller - he seems like a good sidekick - will be screaming obscenities, partly out of relief and partly out of total awe for my amazing driving skills, but I won't even notice.

Then, I'll park the car, doing one of those amazing swerve into a parking space backwards thing, and we'll get out to go to the station - because we're undercover FBI agents too, I forgot that part - and he'll have to jog to keep up with me

and then he'll kind of slap me on the back and say, "Hey, nice driving back there partner."

And I'll just shrug and say something like, "Yeah, well ... I do what I can."

And then he'll tell me that I look incredibly fit and attractive.

The days when you can extinguish an orphan and help a baby duck back to the pond ... well, those are the days when you're really living the dream, folks.

and I know these dreams are big and bold, but that's just the kind of girl I am ...


1. Searching for Fairy Tales print by This Years Girl
2. Larimeloom's dreamy silk camisole
3. Dreaming print by Corid
4. AKACinders Dreamy Cotton Candy Eco Felt Necklace
5. RoughMagicCreations A Robin's Pearls has me dreaming of spring

Whining Wednesday or a bad gag reflex, a cracker barrel funeral and when you can't trust your dog who can you trust

So, I took a week off from my blog to get caught up and instead I caught something and have been feeling lousy (Whine 1)... again - yes, I have been sick three times in the last six months after not even catching a cold last year ...

some people say that when life gives you lemons you make lemonade

but, I think, these are the same people who have one of those "Hang In There" posters of a kitten clinging to a branch in their bedroom and collect Precious Moments figurines.

(so obviously we should ignore them)

Whine 2 - Now, because hubby had been waiting on me hand and foot

(sort of)

and because we were in the area and because I was feeling and looking terrible and didn't want to see anyone I knew and because we really like to party I agreed to eat dinner at ...

(Jaws soundtrack)

the Cracker Barrel.

Hubby loves the Cracker Barrel. I hate the Cracker Barrel.

Now, I have to admit there is a little bit of marketing genius in the way they manage to get us to wander around their 'store' while we wait for them to call us to the table

(I would actually like to try this at my next family gathering, maybe make a few bucks off my jewelry as the relatives wait for the dinner bell)

But, I am terrified to eat there because in the case of any kind of natural disaster, the antique pitch forks, hand saws, and pick axes that cover the walls could fall and impale me, and I'm thinking that would be one totally undignified way to die.

I mean could you imagine how embarassing it would be to have your obituary read -"Catherine died at her favorite table, facedown in the baked country casserole. In lieu of flowers, her family is requesting donations to the NRA."

I spent the entire meal praying that my life wouldn't end within 20 feet of a bin packed with Statue of Liberty music boxes, John Deere snow globes and a clearance priced Big Mouth Billy Bass.

Whine 3 - I am a terrible pill taker. Actually I am a terrible medicine of any kind taker. I hold my nose when I swallow the airborne fizzy water and then need to take a bite of a cookie before I let go.

I used to have a co-worker we’ll call Cindy Bennis

(because that was her name)

and every day at lunch Cindy would make a huge production out of taking her birth control pill, chomping it down like the Cookie Monster.

Tacky (but also reassuring that she wasn't trying to reproduce).

Anyhoo, I always think of Cindy when I have to take a pill and like Cindy, I like to make a big production out of it.

"I GUESS IT'S TIME TO TAKE MY MUCCINEX ... FOR MY CHEST COLD ... BECAUSE I'M SICK ... "

mostly because if I choke on the pill I want someone around me alert enough to do a quick heimlich maneuver on me

Actually, Olive is the only one who comes running when I holler out like this, but she is pretty smart ...

and speaking of Olive Whine 4 - my daughter found a picture online of a chihuahua/beagle who looked exactly like Olive (I would post the picture, but now we can't find it) and since Olive has always led us to believe she was a boston terrier/beagle we have been a bit upset about this.

Not that we have any special fondness for boston terriers or problems with chihuahuas, but we just feel like we've been lied to you know.

(stares Olive down)

it's kind of like if your grandparents told you that you were related to Woodrow Wilson and you spent your whole childhood telling people you were related to Woodrow Wilson and then along came the internet and you discover that you are not related to Woodrow Wilson and not even to Woodrow Wilson's wife's sister-in-law's second cousin.

(not that this has happened to me- dammit grandma)

so, we've been looking at Olive a little suspiciously lately and wondering what else she has been hiding from us

we're going to keep her around anyway, obviously

(because she knows too much about us)

and we love her and all that .. plus she's the only one I can count on to heimlich me if I choke on these damn muccinex...

Whining Wednesday or a junk tv confessional, I get my black belt and Olive prepares for the Dog Show

hine 1 - So, I finally got a new cable cord for the tv in my studio and since I have been almost television-less for quite a while now

(listening to the radio or books on tape while I work)

I was like a dieter on a chocolate binge last week ....

First, I watched two episodes of What Not to Wear.

The premise of this show is that the hosts take unsuspecting women and, over the course of a week, teach them how to dress like gay men.

The women get a new wardrobe

(not anything they are ever going to wear again, of course)

out of it and I guess this is why they allow their flaws to be catalogued and closets plundered on national television. I know I'm not that strong. The second Stacy tried to wrench the Joan Jett t-shirt from my fingers, I would probably set myself on fire.

(confidential to producers- if this is something you would be interested in, please contact me through my agent, ie Olive)

Then I watched 3 episodes of Wife Swap, 2 episodes of Montel Williams, 2 days of Court TV, 2 episodes of Deadly Women, 2 episodes of Ghost Hunters, 2 episodes of I Shouldn't Be Alive, 1 episode of Dirty Jobs- the list goes on.

As you can imagine my head is about to explode. I think it is time to go junk tv cold turkey.

I will now be watching the Olympics and the Dog Show

(which has Olive practicing walking very fast with her tail in the air- I haven't the heart to tell her that her own breed- the four letter word that starts with M isn't on the AKC's radar)

so I can refocus and get myself off the tv smack.

Actually, I just remembered that on tomorrow's Montel they will be talking to women who were impregnated by devilish spirits

(which I think is code for Kevin Federline)

and some lady named Zelva (Zelva?) who is afraid of eggplant.

Hmm. I may hold off on my junk tv cold turkey for one more day.

Whine 2 - Now I promised hubby I would cut back on my posts with his name in them, so to protect his privacy and my blog's future involvement in a marital lawsuit I will just call him Mr. Mystery.

So anyhoo, I went to the movies on Sunday

(yes, we rocked Valentine's Day with the Wolfman, which is a film I totally do not recommend by the way - Whine 3)

with Mr. Mystery and - after the movie I went into the restroom in the mall.

(this is where it gets a little gross)

Whining Wednesday or another snowpocalypse and breakfast for dinner

I'm living the dream, folks.

It is 8:30 a.m.

I am snowed in (sort of).

I am listening to Shawn Colvin and my hubby's audible intestinal noises - he used to try to cover it up with a fake cough ... not anymore

... we may be losing some of the magic ...

(I have to whisper-type this because he is starting to complain about me blogging about him)

Actually, it could be my tummy rumbling- hard to tell when we lie this close.

(more whisper typing) - looks like hubby is headed downstairs to make us all breakfast ... he must have forgotten we only have breakfast for dinner now ...

We started breakfast for dinner with a couple trips to the IHOP when we were renovating (term used loosely here) our kitchen a few years ago.

(yes, IHOP for dinner ... I know this is making you jealous, but we can't all be living the dream folks)

I have tried to recreate this experience at home. Many dinners have been trashed after my version of the Rooty Tooty Fresh & Fruity failed to reach the standards set by the International House.

Apparently, it just doesn't taste right unless it's being served by a toothless woman with a tattoo of Dale, Jr. on her forearm and a dirty apron.

(actually I take that all back, I, too, see my apron as an essential culinary tool, much like a cast iron skillet, and rarely wash it, lest it lose some of its 'flavor' and based on family history and lack of dental insurance should be toothless in 6.7 years)

(more whisper-typing) Sounds like hubby is starting the coffee. He is making alot of noise down there now. The man just can't relax and enjoy a snowday.

(sigh)

Seems like I have to get up and lend a hand.

Hard to whine with a snowpocalypse and something that tastes kind of like a Rooty Tooty in my future - it's all good.

Hope you are all living the dream today, too.
1. Wonderful tea cozy from KnitStorm
2. Amazing Beakfast in Bed print by Mutrux
3. Paint your own eggs by GooseGreaseUndone
4. Adorable felt short stack by LittlePicklepotamus
5. The perfect muffin unbleached tshirt by NottyPouch

Whining Wednesday or as my car might tag me these days STINKEEGRL

Whine 1 - Our credit card company raised our interest rate to something like 26 gazillion for absolutely no reason.

(well, no reason that has anything to do with us anyway)

Confidential to Chase - instead of the minimum payment this month, I'll be mailing in a bag of used wine corks and an autographed doodle of a sad face, hope that is o.k.

Whine 2 - About a month ago I started finding these strange moth things in my studio and bedroom (which is directly over the studio). At first it was random enough to not bother me, but then one night last week, we had two of these little creatures flying into the bedroom lights.

They don't bite (thankfully) and are not very smart or fast-moving, but you cannot squash them because they emit some foul smelling substance when you do.

I had never even heard of such critters and admit I had flattened a couple and didn't notice any odd smell before hubby screamed, "Stop!" -

(I was about to flatten one with his beloved Farmer's Almanac)

and then he told me the 'stinkbug story'.

They are also known as shieldbugs and if George had called them shield bugs (or if they had been a pretty green like shown here instead of looking like creepy gray alien spaceships) I might not be as freaked out. I have moved everything in both rooms, checked all the window cracks and can't figure out how they are getting in.

Hubby says, "maybe they are not getting in because they are already in", which really freaked me out and has me shining a flashlight into my boots before putting my feet in them every morning.

We hate the idea of pesticides and exterminators, but we may have to take some kind of action soon.

(or start a little stink-bug circus sideshow to pay off Chase)

Whine 3 - My memory is totally disappearing.

When I'm driving and think of an idea for a project or blog post (or whine), I have a tendency to write down a key word on a snippet of paper

(yes, I know how dangerous this is ... mainly because I could spill my scalding hot coffee and that would interrupt my cell phone conversation)

and then write the whole thing down later. This morning I found a gas receipt from Friday on which I had scribbled:

Hipster
Chess
That guy's feet

If anyone has any idea what the hell I was thinking, please contact me.

Whine 4 - Vanity license plates have taken over New Jersey - neighbors, friends, everyone is feeling the need to tell me a little something about themselves with their car tags. I have never understood why anyone would pay additional money to outfit their Ford Taurus with a "UGOGURL" license plate.

I think they are just plain yucky.

(if you have a really cool one, let's hear about it, maybe you can change my mind)


Mainly there are 3 reasons I would never have one:

Hit. And. Run.

If someone remembers seeing a light blue Escape in the vicinity, well, that could be just about anybody, but I guarantee some meddling eagle-eyed eyewitness would recall a "CORKYMUM" or an "UPCYCLEGRL" mowing down that Scout troop.

P.S. To clarify, I don't actually talk and drive as this is illegal in New Jersey.

(and, no one calls me anyway)

Whine 5 - Hubby and I recently visited an 84 year old neighbor to check out his amazingly impressive coin collection. He also has quite the library although 99% of the shelves are filled with books related to the value of coins. We noticed at the far right of the middle shelf a gigundo tome titled, "Secrets to Great Sex" and right beside it was a smaller book called, "Guide to Better Public Speaking".

At first we were a bit shocked,

(I mean, we didn't know he did any public speaking)

but then it all began to make sense, because if I were 84 and still having sex

(and I mean anything even slightly involving friction with another person who was not my paid caregiver)

I would tell absolutely everyone about it.

Guy behind counter: "May I help you?"
Me: "I am 84 and am still having sex. Yes, that kind of sex."
Guy behind counter: "This is the post office."
Me: "A book of stamps, please."

Then I would hobble over to my SXYGRNDMA car and drive home to train my stinkbugs.

Whining Wednesday or what your gifts are trying to tell you

I think you can tell what people really think of you by the gifts they give you or don't give you.

So, when I was unChristmas-ing my house the other day I took a look at the gifts I was given and the thought that the people who know me best had put into them.

I mean we give our kids gifts that they 'want' - within reason and price and age appropriateness (of course this is because they tell us what they want- they drag us over to watch tv commercials, give us lists to mail and are smart enough to tell people what they want- we could learn alot from these short people we live with).

But we give most people what we think they want.

Anyhoo, I got 2 pocketbooks-both Fossil cross-bodies- one red and one black. So what is the message here? I need alot of places to keep all my loot? I need alot of places to keep my broken Sephora bronzers? Maybe people are thinking of me as an abundant, organized person... yeah, I think I will go with that one.

I got alot of things that smell nice- like soaps and lotions and candles.

(hmmm... this could be saying good or not so good things about me)

We got alot of packaged meat and cheese

(I am sadly serious here)

mostly from hubby's customers and when I say to hubby "look at all this meat" he says- "well when Jerry - you know, the dog trainer guy- gave me that box- he said you would really like it."

(huh?? I would really like it)

Me "What did he mean by that?"

Hubby "Huh, I guess there is something in there he thought you would like."

Me "I wonder if he thinks I'm fat?"

Hubby "No."

Me "Well, maybe not as a human, but if I were a dog and were wearing a collar, would I have a roll of fat that is squeezed out over the collar?"

Hubby "Um…"

Me "Would my collar have to be adjusted or could I wear it off the rack?"

Then we laughed and proceeded to eat all the Hickory out of Hickory Farms.

P.S. There is a little post script to this story because today hubby remembered that the customer who told him 'your wife will like this' had given him a bottle of wine (not a case of beef sticks and monteray jack)

so was probably referring to my drinking habit the cork.


1. Awesome Ipod/Iphone case by FannyAlioli
2. Adorable My Little Bird Ring by MGMart
3. Beautiful red infinity scarf by Mojospastyle
4. Blue halter dress by the amazing Larimeloom
5. You Are So Loved framed print by the incredible Jess Gonacha Swift.
6. Stunning burgundy earrings by CoolJewelryDesign.

Whining Wednesday is Back - just for a split second though - so don't blink

It's nice to be thankful, but sometimes you just need to whine a bit...

Whine 1 - It is way too cold here.

(and by here I mean the entire world it seems

and in particular my bedroom which hubby likes to keep at a bone-chilling 58 degrees

although our huddling together for survival in the middle of the bed in the dead of night is probably one reason we have managed to stay married all these years)

Whine 2 - The mall during the holidays

(I could probably stop right there and you would all know what I mean)

But in particular, let's just say I spent 30 minutes of the very last hour of the very last shopping day of the season

(not Christmas Eve, I am not quite that lame)

trying to save my Bubble Tea Lady from demise at the local mall where they are out to evict her or at least I spent 30 minutes listening to her whine about it- I find listening to other people whine to be a bit draining, don't you ....

(so, anyhow- if you have a couple extra minutes email the management at the Monmouth Mall and just casually mention how much you like the Bubble Tea Lady)

And then I made the mistake of walking into Sephora for stocking stuffers

(ie gifts for myself)

which meant I spent another 30 minutes of the very last hour of the very last shopping day on a stool as their almost-perfect sales associate tried gamely to pair each of my facial imperfections with a neatly packaged product designed to make me look more like her.

She spoke in a soft voice I had to strain to hear and had the slightest hint of an accent, reflecting some sort of exotic heritage or maybe a summer as the hostess of the Olive Garden next door.

"You could benefit from what we call an eye brightener," she said, pulling a $28.00 white crayon thingie out of her pocket, "because you look like a dead fish".

OK, she didn't really say that last part, but it was kind of implied ....

When little miss almost-perfect turned to greet another customer, I bolted for the back corner of the store to erase some of her handiwork and it was there that I saw the star of my most favorite poorly written crime drama - advertising the only product in the store that I desperately needed.

Oh yes girls, I'm now proudly wearing a long-lasting shade of lipstick named for Mariska Hargitay, giving me the power to stay smudge free through the longest kisses (hubby's 58 degree nights do have some positives) and the greasiest of french fries (I might just have snuck back to Sonic again). I think it also allows me to carry a concealed weapon and arrest anyone who looks kind of rapey, but I'm not sure.
my lips sort of look like this now ------>>


Whine 3 - I don't want to get organized.

I feel like I am under alot of pressure to 'get organized' or at least to want to get organized after the holidays. I mean, I actually do want to be organized, but I don't want to get organized.

(do you see the difference?)

I am just way too lazy right now.

(I think it is the cold)

Maybe next month which is my birthday month and always feels like the new year to me anyway.

Yup, next month I will be a ball of energy and whip this place back into shape ... and oh, yes, I am thinking of legally changing my name to Mariska so I don't get into any trouble over this concealed Uzi .....

Thankful Thursday and yes, I know it is actually Friday

It's not like I think no one knows what day it is (except me), but this week flew by so fast that it still feels like Thursday and I am old enough to not be thankful for fast flying weeks

except maybe the week before, the week before, Christmas

not sure if that just made any sense at all now that I read it back, but I have promised myself to stop editing this blog so much, so I will just keep typing and hope for the best

Grateful 1 - I am very grateful for all these free little address labels I receive this time of year

(sort of)

I used to just get these from the American Lung Association who would send me about a gazillion teeny tiny ones adorned with cute little cardinals.

(the birds not the Catholics, although when I was a kid they used to encourage us to pray for the cardinals and I never knew if they meant the birds or the ball team and was so disappointed when I found out we were supposed to be praying for the men in the red robes- although now that we know what some of them were covering up- I really wish we had been praying for them after all)

And what exactly do birds have to do with healthy lungs? Cigarettes do a lot of bad stuff, but I have yet to see a smoker cough up a cardinal.

Confidential to Philip Morris- could you please make this happen?

So anyhoo, this year everyone from the Susan G. Kohman Foundation to the VFW is sending these to me. I think that maybe instead of mailing gazillions of address labels, they should just use that money to, well, um, support their causes.

I mean, does anyone even send letters anymore?

Maybe next time these charities will send me some cutting edge Betamax tapes or 8 tracks or some horses for my feudal plantation.

Gratitude 2 - My front door is not broken.

Last night bringing home some take-out, in the dark and the cold- I was standing on my front porch clicking my car remote at my house door to get it to open and thinking - dammit - my front door is broken

and well, I'm just glad it isn't

<---(note- this is not actually my front door, but let's just pretend it is- it's much cuter than mine)

Gratitiude 3 - It is almost Christmas. And even though my family has pledged no gifts

(bah humbug to them all I say)

and half my family (the half that can cook unfortunately- I really miss you Randi) has moved away - it is still almost Christmas and people are happier (yes, even in New Jersey) and kinder to each other and smiling more often ... even me.

I still really, really want to see someone cough up a cardinal though ...

Thankful Thursday or I did not really cause Katrina... really

I am starting to like these thankful Thursdays now and feeling like a much better person

(glass half full, remember)

than the one who whined all the time.

And I have alot to be thankful for this week .

Gratitude 1: This amazing giveaway over on Lory's The Sunshine Studio blog where you can win your choice of one of my Polarity lockets

so hop over there and get yourself entered!

Gratitude 2: Polarity's soft launch on Uncommon Goods website

yup, THAT Uncommon Goods (and if you are asking what a soft launch is, I am not exactly sure, but it sounds..well... soft and kind of launchy)

I was totally going to do a big announcement for this in January - when I thought we would be making our debut, but somehow we are on their website now and I am a bit speechless...

well, not exactly (have been howling at the moon a bit over this actually)

I love Uncommon Goods and this is very exciting for me and 3 of the Polarity locket artists - Holly Ward Bimba (Gollybard), Jessica Doyle and Christy Zaragoza (Peppermint Daydreams) and I will chat more on this later when the Valentine's Day catalog comes out and yes, this is my first catalog, ever!

Gratitude 3: I am very thankful that I found my missing keys (that have been missing for almost a week)

at the bottom of my pocketbook

the pocketbook that I use everyday and had checked a few times - well, at least I thought I had checked it a few times, I mean who loses their keys and doesn't check their pocketbook, right?

Gratitude 4: I broke a major OCD habit today

well, maybe not so major because I have alot of them, but I had my little bag of peanut M&M's

(well ... actually a HUGE bag, why is everything else getting smaller while these damn bags of peanut M&Ms are getting super sized)

and instead of eating the colors in alphabetical- well, red first and then alphabetical order, I just ate them out of the bag, one by one, distractedly, without thinking about the color

I stared at the empty bag with shock and awe when I realized what I had done and then knocked on some wood that I hadn't just caused a major disaster somewhere in the world

(like Katrina- don't even ask me what I forgot to do that day)

Gratitude 5 - The security camera in our local video store is totally broken.

(now I had nothing to do with the actual breakage, but am happy that someone else out there had just had enough of this already, too)

I mean, have you ever seen yourself on a store security camera?

It is horrifying. You totally think you are having a good (looking) day and and then you see yourself on one of those, and you're like, "oh my God look at that sloth coming into the st-- wait, that's me."

then you feel like crap

or maybe that only happens to me.

Oh, and I am totally grateful that the customer who ordered the Mad Scientist cork necklace and discovered that I had reversed the last 2 letters of the word scientist, which kind of changes the meaning a bit if you see what I mean, was kind enough to tell me about it and not tell everyone else by putting it in my public feedback - of course I told her I would fix this problem immediately, but couldn't resist telling her that as far as the problem piece goes - I wantit back.

Thankful Thursday or I will not whine, I will not whine, I will not whine

I thought instead of whining my way through the holidays, I would try something a little more positive and focus on things I am thankful for.

So do you guys want to hear something awesome?

Then you should probably go read another blog.

You are not going to believe what happened to me.

(just kidding... sort of)

Gratitude 1: A 2 Day local craft show last weekend that I have no idea why I signed up for (yes, I know I am dangling my participles and I also do know why I signed up, but I will take full responsibility for my own stupidity)

I was surrounded (on 2 of 3 sides) with buy/sell jewelry and yes, even though I befriended the very kind sellers of this junk, I totally knew it was buy/sell.

NOTE to buy/sell people at juried shows- EVERYONE knows you did not make your stuff when 1. You have 1000's of pieces with 1000's of different clasps, beads, settings, styles, etc and 2. You are selling necklaces for $10.00 that could not possibly be made for $10.00 (other than by six year old children in India)

(and oh yeah, also when you say that you "sell jewelry" because people who are not buy/sell do not say we "sell jewelry" - even though we try to - we say we "make jewelry")

And you make those of us who actually labor over our product look expensive and shows should be more careful - and they often aren't.

But, wait I am getting whiney, so let me say that I am actually very thankful that I did this show because now I am 100% certain I will never do another non-Indie show (and I've never done an Indie show, but they seem like more fun and no one is ripping Made In China stickers - unless they were the one in China actually making them - off the bottom of their stuff minutes before the show starts) again.

I am incredibly thankful that I did so poorly that I will never be tempted to do this again.

and that I got to meet this woman ---> (untouched photo I snapped as she was leaving and YES that is all her own hair)

who squealed when she saw my cork

(the kind of sound you would expect to hear if you punched a build-a-bear)

and of, course, I got her stylist's digits, because you know I just had to ask.

Gratitude 2: I was sick on Monday, but on Tuesday I was better. So I knew it was just a stomach thing and not the swine flu which I was convinced I had for a few hours there. Which, of course, is totally ridiculous because everyone who knows me knows I am like the last person to grab on to the latest fad. If I got swine flu now that would make me terribly in vogue, it's more likely that I'd have SARS.

Gratitude 3: I spent like 3 hours at Barnes and Noble trying to decide whether or not to purchase the new Stephen King.

(ie reading the first chapter while sipping spilled hot chocolate from my napkin - hey, it's a recession - and avoiding everything I was supposed to be doing ... like food shopping)

and I got to hear the best little quarrel I'd heard in a long time

(that I wasn't participating in)

Let me set the scene- they were an adorable twenty something couple- she had wide-set Bratz doll eyes and you just knew she would still look cute when she washed off all that eye make-up but you just couldn't hate her for it because she was just so damn adorable

and he kind of reminded me of that cute wannabe detective guy on the HBO series.

She was smacking the side of their table trying to get his attention.

"ANSWER ME"

She hit the table harder sending the Dean Koontz books he had been building into an elaborate pyramid crashing to the floor. "You spilled my Koontz," he whispered, calmly gathering the books and re-Jenga-ing them on top of each other. He looked sad. "Now, I've got dirty Koontz."

This sent my hot chocolate spewing and caused everyone to look at me.

"Sorry, asthma attack", I muttered, pounding my own chest.

"We are so broken up right now!" - she stomped off.

So, anyhoo, we have to be thankful for the little things (as Oprah says) and for some reason this little exchange (I did see them making out in the parking lot an hour later) somehow made me happy and had me thinking about young love and all the passion of it and then that made me a little bit sad and needing to see my own hubby.

So, I headed over to hubby's shop and he was wearing his 'crazy pilot from Mad Max' goggles and stopped dead in his tracks to say to me "damn, you look good"

(those goggles are a bit distorting)

and I thought, well, maybe old-love isn't so bad either ...

(of course, he burst my love-bubble by asking about the lines in the grocery store and about all the food I bought, which made me realize that I actually did have to hit the food store and not just the bookstore)

so I blew him a kiss and left him standing there with his saucer eyes and fraggle rock hair and went off to do my Thanksgiving duty.

Hoping everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and lots of amazing things to be thankful for!

It's Whining Wednesday or a real wine whine this time

The best thing about weekly whining is that when something disappointing happens I can pull out my little notebook and jot it down for my whining post

(not really, but if I actually did do this, I would write about way better stuff, because my memory is pretty much gone these days)

and then go back to being that glass half-full kind of girl that I know I really am down inside

(deep down inside)

Next week I am thinking it is time for Thankful Thursdays thru Christmas- 5 weeks of thankfulness can offset 47 weeks of whining, right?

Whine 1: This is an actual wine whine and even though it is a little lame, I have been on the lookout for one of these since I started whining because an actual wine whine, well you really can't ask for more than that, you know.

So anyhoo, the liquor store in our town has recently expanded into a liquor block (almost) - good to know at least one industry is thriving these days

and is all clean and shiny and new and I hadn't been in there since the grand opening, so I wandered in for some (cheap) white wine to make a chicken dish.

I plunked the bottle down on the counter and the counter girl who had been busy admiring the gigantic housefly tattoos on her very skinny arms in a bottle of white zinfandel muttered, "I'm gonna need to see some ID."

"Rad," I said.

(because when I'm happy, I sometimes talk like that annoying guy you hated in middle school)

The counter girl, sensing just a touch too much happiness in my 3 letter answer said, "Oh, I know you're old enough. It's for the computer". She slowly pecked my birth digits into the keyboard. "Because it can't see you."

(impressing me by knowing the cash register is not actually 'alive' and depressing me -just ever so slightly- that my carding days are way, way behind me, but mostly that this had just been pointed out to me by someone whose tats and tude made me want to roll up one of the newspapers on her counter and give her a swat)

But with the words, "that Cat- she wouldn't hurt a fly", ringing in my ears - I decided to let it go.

(plus I've been watching the Biography channel in my studio while I work these days and had seen Gandhi just that morning and felt inspired)

Now this wasn't a particularly interesting whine, but still a wine whine has to trump a regular whine any day plus I need to preserve this memory in case I ever run into horsefly girl again.

(like in a dark alley carrying a fly swatter)

Whine 2- I am noticing my vocabularly is getting very, very pathetic.

(and when I say pathetic I mean- small and repetitive and boring)

Back when I had a real job and was out in the real world with real people all day I could hold a fairly decent, smart and quick witted, conversation on some pretty involved subjects without sounding like a blabbering idiot.

But now that I work from home I am noticing my vocabularly has taken a step (or two, or maybe a couple football field lengths) backward.

Here are the things I find myself saying most often in no particular order:

1. Dammit!
2. You're fine
3. OK seriously
4. God I hate you
5. I can't believe that (insert name of item here) is on the front page
6. I seriously don't have time for this
7. That will be $50.00 - now get dressed and get out (just kidding)

(it's way more than $50.00)

Other than the word seriously which I am clever enough to use in multiple situations several times I day - I am pretty much a 3-4 letter word kind of girl now, which I am thinking makes me about grade two.

I need one of those word a day calendars and someone to require me to use those words in real life situations daily.

(like a vocabularly coach ... hmmm - this may be a new industry created especially for the work-at-home sector ... and remember to give me credit and cash, if you start doing this ... or, at least, free mentoring)

Using dictionary.com's word a day calendar flashcards, this is how my new and improved 'things I say most often list' might sound:

1. Exegesis = Exegesis!
2. Hoi Polloi = You're hoi polloi
3. Fungible = OK, fungible
4. Truculent = God, I hate truculent
5. Sycophant = I can't believe that sycophant is on the front page
(hey that one might still work once in a while)
6. Galump = I seriously don't have time for this galumping
7. Scuttlebutt = That will be scuttlebutt- now get dressed and get out (just kidding)

(it's way more than scuttlebutt)

Or I could just settle for my declining vocabularly and ability to talk to seven year olds and of course with my memory pretty much gone, I may have to.

Looking at the bright side (that half-full thing again, remember) a seven year old vocabularly sounds pretty youthful to me and I may never get carded (for real) again, but at least I still have my flashcards.

I Know It's Veteran's Day but I'm gonna whine anyway...because it's Wednesday

This weekly whining may be getting old, but now that I am becoming more alert for things to whine about

they are everywhere

Whine 1 - I've talked before (I think) about wanting a new bike and my run ins with the 'twig man' - our local bike seller and mechanical guru who has 'classic' bicycles all over his front yard (ie patch of dirt in front of his house).

I finally got up my nerve to approach twig man again. I had questioned him once before about his bike prices- but he just kind of muttered, "What do you want to spend?" between spits of the twig he was chewing on which made me realize I never think in terms of how much I can spend.

(probably why I have no money)

Anyhoo, I've been eyeing a green one-

(I guess it had a make or model of something or other, but more importantly the green one would kind of match my new scarf pattern and I could kind of picture myself riding around on it.)

So, twig man breaks off a new piece of branch for our walk and we head over to his 'bicycle testing area' which is an empty parking lot right in the center of town that has been roped off, so people can't drive through it or park in it - yes, I live in a town that does stuff like this

and I am riding back and forth, but feel I need to take this little baby out on the open road so I head out of the 'bicycle testing area' and onto a back street.

Suddenly, I hear a car coming up behind me and for reasons I can't quite remember, I feel I need to get out of this car's way- probably because

1) it was going roughly 10MPH and
2) there was literally no other car for miles

I went up onto the curb.

(and when I say I went up onto the curb I mean I, the bike stayed on the road)

I have no idea what happened, but I couldn't get up over the curb. Aren't you supposed to be able to ride up over a curb? I mean, I know you're thinking of course not, but this was a little, bitty driveway curb that I am fairly certain I have seen 3 year olds tricycling over while I've sat in the bank drive up line.

I started wobbling, I thought, "OH NO this is it. I'm going over." And WHAM - I was on the ground.

I landed with full force on my right knee, elbow and both hands. Here are the thoughts I had in the order in which I had them:

* Holy crap, Cat!

* Holy crap that car is going to stop and check on me, aren't they?
How embarrassing- this is horrible!

* Holy crap where is the car? Oh - it turned before it even got to me.

* Holy crap did anyone see me?

* Holy crap my knee hurts. I don't know if I can get up.

* Holy crap did I rip my jeans?

* OK, I didn't rip my jeans. Thank God. These are the ones that fit me.

* OK, get up, get back on the bike and ride away like nothing happened.

* I want my mommy.




It was kind of like this -----> but without the actual race and the racing equipment and the racers chasing me



The bottom line is that twig man is now fixing up this bike for me- the crash may have done a little bit of damage and I still don't know how much it is going to cost me

(but like I said I don't think about things like this anyway)

Hubby, of course, asked why I wasn't wearing my helmet

(as if I was going to run around with helmet-hair for the rest of the day, for pete's sake)

of course, I don't have a helmet yet because I don't have a working bicycle yet

He said twig man should supply them to bicycle testers and he got kind of a far off look in his eyes when he said this - as if he was picturing a lawsuit payout where we win a collection of 'classic' bicycles and twig man's tasty maples.

I am remembering Sherry Truitt's post about a spill and her later triumph behind the handlebars, so I am hoping the same will be true for me when twig man gets my bike to me- in the meantime my knee still hurts but I am trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing

(hold me)

Whine 2- I'll keep this one short since if you are still awake after my bicycle whine you probably want to get out of here by now.

Hubby blew our chances for any more free food at Chipotles, like forever.

I love Chipotles. I know it's a chain and chain's are bad (usually), but I just can't help it.

(even though they do make this big deal about recycling those little baskets- that we would never throw out anyway and they allow everyone to toss the plastic silverware- what's up with the plastic silverware Chipotles?)

We sometimes go on Tuesday nights and if we get there very late the guy there gives me free food. And I say me because when we walk in, hubby heads to the napkin/condiment bar and gets our supplies

(I swear he is about 2 years away from sitting on a mall bench with two guys named Arthur and Harry and holding my handbag while I shop)

and then he grabs a table

(this is the way- he puts it- grabs a table- although there are usually 3 other people in the place and about 50 empty chairs)

so anyhoo, the guy there always gives me free chips and guac and last week hubby totally blew it because instead of grabbing a table he got in line with me and before the guy had a chance to give us any freebies George said

"what- no freebies?"

and the guy just gave us a blank stare and no guac and chips and then again this week 'no freebies'

which hubby claims is ok because he didn't feel comfortable with the guy giving me free stuff anyway

(as if we were going to owe this guy a very big favor and he would oneday come to collect on our 62 free guac and chips that had accumulated into the exact value of George's dirtbike)

so I am left forking over $3.99 for the guac and chips

(not that I think about such things)

and feeling irked that George couldn't have just grabbed us a table and let me keep on getting my freebies

(like forever)

or until I get sick of bringing home my dirty silverware.

It's Whining Wednesday

So ... before I abandon another 'series' of posts after just one post

(and because this series is just so easy to write)

I think I should whine another Wednesday.

1st whine- Hubby got sick and blew off both our Halloween invites. He made an amazing recovery the very next day and I think his "24 hour (ie collapse on the bed and shiver) flu"

had more to do with his total lack of pop culture references and insistence that he has never heard of Kanye West or Taylor Swift and that I could be making the whole thing up so I would get to wobble around in heels and carry a soccer trophy

(well, that did sound like fun)

2nd whine - I hate this whole daylight savings time thing. I do like getting up in the morning when it is light out, although it has been pretty much cloudy here for a month so the only light is the compact fluorescents in the bathrooms

(btw- if you have one of those bathroom mirrors surrounded by light bulbs and you only screw in every other bulb you will have yourself some very flattering lighting and in fact will never need any anti-aging cream because you will have an anti-aging mirror, at least in my opinion- every couple years you can just unscrew another bulb)

I hate that it is dark out so early at night now ... and cold ... I hate that it is dark and cold so early. Because to me dark and cold means the day is over - grab a blanket, hunker down.

(and yes, I have been known to take down the phone number for the Snuggie ... every time it is on)

I don't get much done at night now and I really just want to drink hot liquids and read my library books. So, because my day ends earlier it needs to start earlier so I can squeeze everything in which means I have to get up at 5 and that means I am getting up in the dark ... again.

Final whine- I love Williams Sonoma - I don't always buy anything there, but I like to make some pre-holiday visits and see what kind of goodies they are cooking up with their mixes and sauces and dips and such.

But this little guy has made me question their product designers.

I mean, they were considerate enough not to add a face that you would have to smash down on a hot casserole dish, but I'm wondering if they actually put one of these to use before the big roll out-

(or is my mind the only one going to these places)

to actually use Mr. Gingerbread Man (and I am assuming a male here because the alternative would be even more upsetting to me) you need to seriously violate his no-no place.

The bad news is that I burnt the cookies. The good news is that his prostate is just fine.